Can You Relate to These Questions?
There has been too much coincidence of people experiencing these symptoms for me to ignore this any longer. Let me jump right in the deep end:
- Are you feeling a great amount of detachment lately from things that would normally bother you regarding your career, home life, worries or life in general?
- Do you have a ‘devil-may-care' attitude all of a sudden (as in ‘I don't give a hoot' or you couldn't be asked to bat an eyelid)?
- Are you struggling to get going this year? Like you're stuck in neutral?
- Do you try to shift gears and get things done but more stuff is piling up and you just don't have the vooma to carry on?
- Do you feel that nothing is worth the effort anymore and it's time to throw in the towel?
- Do you feel like you're trying to fit a round into a square? Things just aren't fitting anymore and there you are huffing and puffing trying to make it fit!
- Have you been asking yourself, ‘What's wrong with me?'
You've just stumbled upon a major quagmire that has got most of us quasi-global citizens in it's lethargic grip.
“What is it, what's going on?” I hear you cry!
I'm not 100% sure but I'm going to give it a shot filtering it through my own realizations of late. I've been experiencing a death and rebirth of myself.
RELATED ARTICLE: How to Find Yourself Again
Goodbye Old Me and Hello New Who?
I've gone through the above questions like an old computer trying to scour for an answer to a rather outdated formula. What have I come up with? Here it goes:
- I don't care what people think of me (their opinions are none of my business)
- I don't care what other's expect of me (I'm doing my best!)
- I don't care if I die tomorrow (acceptance rather than denial)
- I don't care about my career or where I thought I was heading just a few months ago (it's not really that important in the greater scheme of things and being rigidly attached to an outcome isn't serving me)
- I don't care if I end up under a bridge (bridges can be quite nice actually — just go look at a Brunel bridge!)
- I don't care if this world is or isn't experiencing a shift of paradigm (such hype!)
- I don't care if everything I believe to be true isn't (ooh, there's a big one!)
- I don't care that I don't care (this is where I stick my tongue out)
- I don't care….well, yes, I'm sure you get the picture now…
But the crux is, I think I just died to my former self. Who am I? No, just rather — I AM.
It feels like my mind, spirit and body have had a rather cleansing enema. The moment I started detaching from what I wanted to manifest I, you guessed it, started to manifest all those things at a rapid pace.
I suppose you could call it your very own eternal sunshine of the spotless mind so you can start with a clean slate to create this dream life you've always wanted.
Why It's Necessary to Experience Your Own Death (Metaphorically Speaking)
In my humble opinion, I think one has to truly and utterly — with every fiber of your body — die to your old way of thinking/operating/being to open up to the new paradigm that is practically kicking down your door to be let in. Reexamine all those beliefs that have got you going on a hamster wheel.
This entails detaching from past auto-responsive behaviors to make way for new neural connections that will allow you to react in a way that is grounded, balanced and coming from your heart and not your head.
Detach from the expectations and opinions of others about you — there is no more need to defend yourself, your career (or lack of) choices, your partner (or lack of) choices, your beliefs (or lack of…lol), your version of reality (or illusion) or anything else you may have felt defensive about in the past.
IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE AND YOU HAVE NO NEED TO DEFEND IT.
Phew! What a bloody relief!!!
What Needs To Stay and What Will Depart
Those who will love and respect you enough to let you be will remain in your life and those who will not be able to bear not being able to manipulate you anymore will leave (albeit kicking and screaming).
Be the still presence and just watch how things unfold. Don't give in to external demands (not unless you've made peace with what is being asked of you) — just be silent, bask in the stillness. Eventually what needs to fall away will.
Where there is no two opposing energies feeding a situation, the energy will move on.
Walk the Talk and Dance the Tango
Now is the time to stop talking about what you know or believe and to LIVE it. Show others by example (how cool would that be?) and not by rabbiting on about it (unless someone asks you for your opinion). Dance like no-ones watching — even if it is down the aisles at your local supermarket.
Be the change you want to see (thanks, Gandhi) and live for joy and upliftment for yourself and those around you. If someone or something tries to drag you down — alchemize them/it. What does that mean?
Keeping You in Suspenders (a Phrase my Father Would Say in Lieu of ‘Suspense')
How to alchemize a situation? Ah, that's for next weeks blog.
For now, be kind to yourself if you are going through this death/rebirth stage. Drink plenty of water, eat wholesome foods, meditate, do yoga/go for a walk, be in nature (ground yourself!) and keep setting your intentions to feel bliss every day.
UPDATE: Read ‘3 Ways to Flow Through Chaotic Times' HERE
Cherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author/columnist, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.
To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you click HERE.
Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your thoughts, actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie on Facebook (The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She also has an official art Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates) and her band’s Facebook page is Templeton Universe.
This article (10 Reasons Why I Don’t Care Anymore and Neither Should You) is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to the author Cherie Roe Dirksen and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.
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You made it all the way to ” No, just rather — I AM.”………and then you went right back to analyzing , exp-lanations , how-to paragraphs and all the crap that FOR A SECOND………you had managed to leave behind.
GO BACK to ….just Being
if you read it till the end, rather – I AM, wasn’t enough for you either
I would like all therapists to go and learn something useful like truck driving, ditch digging or even dog walking.
There is too much psychological and physical pain in this life. It is getting more difficult to deal with, but, I am doing my best.
yep I’ve worked my ass off for nothing, I’m almost 50 w/ nothing to show for anything 🙁
You make a valid point, Richard.
Wow!!! This has helped a lot only I’ve always been sooo upbeat & happy (4 the most part) suffered w depression bt always bounced back now I’m mainly down n not myself… I love caring! n I don’t think I like this change of not wanting to care like usual
“I AM” I like that, but it’s just my opinion.
He doesn’t….But good for you being gracious. The article was very helpful to someone going through this right, so no, it didn’t need to stop at “I Am,” because it helped break down how you got there for those of us having trouble…so Thank you for this article!
I can’t begin to tell you how much I relate to this post, I’m so glad I came upon it! I have been feeling so detached from life for the past couple of years and for awhile I was wondering if I needed to get on medication for depression. But I wasn’t really depressed, just tired of caring so much and expecting and trying so hard and going nowhere. The minute I stopped caring, I kid you not, things started to fall in place for me. I always come from a place of detachment when I look at things now. It’s not always easy, particularly in stressful times, but I usually come right back to it. I find it hard to relate to people anymore who are coming from a place of attachment, I often don’t understand what they’re getting worked up about, how they don’t understand that if they’d just go with the flow, things usually work themselves out. Anyway, just wanted to say, thanks for posting!
This article echoes EXACTLY how I’m feeling this year. I think we start feeling like this because we no longer wish to be drones. And it feels good to just say eff it and let go. So thanks so much for posting this. It really hits the spot.
I don’t care to like you on Facebok because I don’t care for Facebook, but I do like you.
Its not that I feel unmotivated or wouldnt care if I died. I just dont give a shit about drama or what people think of me or expect of me.
I agree
I saw this post so I just had to say, “I like it.” It does seem to hit the spot, like another poster said. This is a recent feeling for me. I am curious what the future brings, but I do think it’s not worth it too ‘care’ about a lot of old ‘crap’ that has no long lasting value. Maybe it’s just my focus, that is curious for me now…
I absolutely love this post.
Your post resonates with me at so many levels. I’d be interested in following your future works. Your insight into this ailment ‘apathy’ seems increasingly prevalent in recent years. I can’t help but wonder if technological advances make escapism far too easy and appealing to brave the real world beyond TV, video games, internet, texting….
For me, I’ve become so overwhelmed by the intricate convoluted complications in my life that I’ve lost the drive to manage them in a productive way. They suck my precious time; what I value most. Now my days are spent doing things I’m forced to do. I feel caged, defeated. I just don’t care anymore although i desperately want to. I’ve worked my ass off to build what I have now. But now id rather escape than deal with the mountains of BS that has become my life. I need to know that on the other side of those mountains is something worth fighting for. I can’t imagine it now. Maybe one day …
All you have to do is lose what is most precious to you (spiritually)., pride/ego , how do you lose it? Give yourself to a person that really matters. Sit foward and brace yourself. Remember, this is about losing, not so when you finally lose it, you are free from yourself.
Thanks , I needed this
Never related more
Nicole ~
I could not have said it better myself. Awesome comment that resonates with me on every level !
What I can say is the other side of that ‘Mountain’ is:
Bliss, Freedom, Peace, Compassion, Abundance and L O V E ~
Trust Me – NO – Trust in
The Divine
Our PRIME CREATOR
The Universe ~
We shall get back 1000 for what our hearts put out so as another poster said …
Just ‘ B E ‘
EVERYTHING we’ve been forced to endure and all that we are currently experiencing …
It IS WORTH ALL OF THIS
& SO MUCH MORE 🌷
” I AM ‘THAT’ I AM ”
… and …
” SO IT IS ”
❤
~ The Owning Of …
‘ Our Divine Spark Within ‘
‘ Self Empowerment ‘
Mastery of All !!!
‘ We Are Creators of
Our Own Reality ‘
Right inside of Us
Patiently waiting for us to Awaken …
To this and all TRUTHS !
🕉
I really needed this. I only had to skim the article to “get it”, because it’s where I am at right now, and I’ve been there before. But I’d always go back (Richard addresses this in his very sensible comment). I’d go back to “caring”, which really means “worrying, fretting, analyzing, judging, and freaking out about”. We can care about something, and yet accept that we can’t do a darn thing about it. I always went back to “caring” because society tells us its what we should do, and we’re lazy, we’re “giving up” if we don’t wear ourselves out with “caring”. Going back to all that is based in fear, I find-fear of what others will say, fear of losing friends, fear of being poor, unsuccessful, fear of the unknown. Well, here I am again, I just don’t “care” anymore…and I hope I don’t go back!
Thank you!
Finally the most non bullshit straight to the point description of how it truly is.
And, I don’t give two shits to what happens to anyone/everyone in this world after I’m done living in it. Out to make the biggest “kiss my ass” carbon footprint I can, along with a quick self crotch-grab and a double middle finger solute, I say BITE IT!!!
Too bad I won’t be here to see the
looks on the faces of all the surviving retards in the family
When my lawyer reads them my living will!
Hahahah….SUCKERS!!!!!!!
Totally wore out and frankly I don’t care anymore. My whole life, I cared. In fact, I cared too much. I think I cared more, because others didn’t. Now, I am spent..wore out..don’t care anymore. Unfair that some assume the job, because others don’t or won’t!
Oh gosh I cannot say how much the article meant to me. I am at a point right now where I am finding my true self. I suffered so bad with Anxiety and depression and Ocd – all of it was based out of fear. So people pleasing is a huge sign of anxiety because we want acceptance, everybody does and having anxiety I would get fearful to say something stupid or look stupid in front of other people. So I met this man a year and a half ago who said, “you care too much.” Confused…. you know! I thought caring was always a good thing because it meant you were loving, but it actually means concern or worry. You are concerning yourself with what others think of you and it was causing me to NOT be my true self – or express what I really thought or felt. Well here is the kicker. This man who told me I cared too much – well I feel in love with him basically because he was the most genuine person I had ever met before. I was afraid he wasn’t going to like me – I cared right- well I did everything to be the perfect girl for him. I cooked, I worked out, I ate healthy, I got interested in things he liked, I was always nice to him…. anyway… here is what happened. None of it was working. It seemed the more I tried to get him to like me – the more I cared – the more I pushed him away. Dumbfounded, I asked god how do I get this guy to like me? The response I got was don’t fear – just be yourself. I was like yeah if that happens he won’t like me. Well my neighbors one day invited me over for dinner. I am a very observant person. Well anyway – long story short – my neighbors were identical to me and my roomate. IDENTICAL. The man didn’t care about anything and his fiance was exactly like me. I talked to this couple separately for about 3 hours to find that me and him were meant for each other if I had only not cared or worried about what he was gonna think of me. Imperfections and all. She wasn’t perfect and she didn’t care, but she was just like me. I am struggling with not caring. I honestly wish I didn’t because there would be complete freedom from it. To not worry about anything and just be your true self.
I am so glad I found you! I wanted to know the song lyrics for Phil Collins song “I Don’t Care Anymore” and I found You! I am a decades long time Coast to Coast listener and very fond of George Noory and [Art Bell]. Thank you for this post! This is so real! I am trying so hard to find answers to carry on with my life as a widow for the past 4 1/2 years. I was in therapy for 28 months and I find myself trying so hard to deal with not being able to see my therapist for the past year. She told me I did not need her clinically anymore and I agree. BUT, I am so attached to her and I really don’t understand why. I don’t agree with the transference concept. It is just pure “Love” to me. Thank you for your passion and perspective.
really? like i fucking care…
imo its all bs and you are trying to hard to sound intelligent.. and no one cares what you think.. but thats imo like i would expect you to care anyway.
I don’t think you notice, but nobody cares. Richard.
Do
This is how I am feeling. I just turned 24 and I just don’t care about things that I used to care about anymore. Maybe it is me just maturing. Or, maybe I am dead and don’t even know it…I doubt it. This helped a lot though.
I am 65 and feel this way. Im lost.
Don’t be lost Robert
You are not alone in your feeling
You will find your way
Its good to know that your 65 because it shows that this is a psychological phenomenon effecting all ages. I think our natural human intelligence slowly begins to perceive behind the veil of things seen and experienced, ourselves and others, our histories personal and collective, that we, none of us are actually ‘lost’; but that our innate intelligence is slowly showing us the utter shallowness of the things we are influenced to invest our senses in on a daily basis. The reduction of our senses evolved over millions of years on this planet to the listening of a clock ticking 9 to 5 and an advert selling a product new, improved, bigger and better.The temporariness and meaningless and futility of it all. That at foundations, although things are not getting better they are also not getting worse and that it’s the repetitive daily ‘sameness’ our senses perceive that pushes the mouse called our ‘lives’ around the wheel. It is not so much that we feel ‘lost’ but more that we are all starting to wake up to this realisation. People young and old who claim they want to ‘die’ are really desperately telling us that their perception, experience and realisation of this daily ‘sameness’ is actually slowly killing them from within. Their senses are telling them ‘hey! This is not life, this is rote!’ The senses…frizzled, burnt out, made redundant by this ‘sameness’ cause a terrible sense of heart-emotional pain and loneliness and produces an involuntary avoidance of the external world. All stimuli is 95% electronic technological image and 5% nature and natural. Although technology is a fantastic creative effort our senses did not evolve nor were they invented by software. Visit the California redwood trees and let your senses drink in the colours and hues and smells of these beautiful grandiose tall trees far older than you or i, and smell the air and the leafy foliage beneath canopies of verdant green with blasts of azure blue and sunlight…or stand on the edge of Niagara falls and just listen to nature’s motion, feel upon your face the cool mist and spray and the weight of those majestic falling waters! Your senses are an innate part of this on your deepest levels! You too respond in awe and joy because you too are part of it and you become alive again and you breathe again!. But where you are now?..Probably where I am now (else I would not be writing this); and that is a place where internally, and on a daily basis I am crippled, squeezed and suffocated by the ‘sameness’ of it all. I need to go and feed my senses as a thirsty man in a hot desert would pour cool water on his brow, mouth and chin solely to savour it before drinking it! Go for it…and the memory of it will inspire you and sustain you no matter how much sameness your future holds! Remember, the best stimulus for our senses is provided by that which first created and evolved them…Mother Nature! Stand beneath the dust of stars on an arctic night and breathe! Or even just imagine it as they do in some meditation techniques, acknowledge the thirst of your senses for ‘life’ and quench that thirst. Well, just writing this certainly inspired me a bit, I truly hope it inspired all my brothers and sisters who say they don’t care, they can’t feel love, they want to die etc. You are going to be fine!
Hello Carl Darian Williams. I wanted to let you know I am inspired by your beautifully written post. Its good when someone somewhere else can say what you are feeling. Yes my heart is crying out for that kind of contact with awe-inspiring nature (20 years since I met the redwoods and beautiful pacific coast). You put it so well – that thirst. I’m just past 60, live in a fairly grey UK city and have not experienced big sky, trees, stars for a long time. I can do that now if I want to, but had just given up on wanting it (squeezed and suffocated….) or admitting that I really do need/want that. Thanks for the reminder!!
I think the world is just too far gone at this point, and this is just us realising it.
We can’t save it at this point. Too many people hate too much, and it’s become normality. The only appropriate response for someone who realises this is to psychologically break.
Yeah sure, no shit, Sherlock… You’re on-point, but are you just another “life coach”, shilling for a fee? Here’s the rub: I don’t care about any of these things that I’m supposed to shed, like a snakeskin, and I’m re-searching for Eden. But what? Am I supposed to become homeless now? Because that’s close to where I’m at… Who’s (or how are you) paying YOUR bills? Trust fund baby? I’m practically unemployable at this point, and just got fired from my fourth “successful” career (even though I just went back to college and almost got a 4.0 GPA.) Can I crash on your couch, when I get put out to the curb, Cherie? Are you just another internet fraud blogger, or are there any REAL answers here? I’ve got weeks; maybe 3 months, tops… *tick, tick, tick*
I didn’t mean to sound quiiiite so dour, Cherie… After looking at your website, I see that you are a talented, hard-working artist and writer, who has built something tangible and meaningful for herself. I hope that is all going well for you. I used to be that same artist, designer and writer; that same professional, and contributor to our world. Now it’s slipping away (again) and I can’t seem to get up from the canvas – not one more time(?) 10 count *ding, ding* I’m out… But all the best to you! Too bad you don’t follow this blog any longer, it would seem…
Insightful thought; I believe that is a catalyst for coming into this state..
@J… what said about the world being “too far gone” at this point…
Very helpful article
It’s interesting after 59 years, that I would feel this way. Just getting to retirement age, I have to “not give a shit” to be able to collect what I have been paying into for years.
People have called me many things…..depressed, negative, a “grumpy old bastard”…..but my self defense mechanisms have kicked in and I say “Fuck you”.
I have a lot to offer, but because I don’t fit into the corporate mold, I am not a “team player”.
Well….I have 3.5 years to go and I can play the fucking game until I punch out for the last time. After that, it’s up to the mountains and a peaceful life in the wilderness.
Written by someone who really doesn’t know what it feels like to not care. If I had to read one more sentence that started with “You need to…” YOU NEED this and YOU NEED that….The last thing “I need” is some douchebag internet journalist telling me what I need. You’re a joke, and you have no idea what real depression is like. This article didn’t help, it just made me more pissed off. That’s real depression. There is no magical formula to get undepressed that everyone can follow. It’s different for everyone, but I understand you gotta make a living bullshitting everyone online.
I use to be this way also. I am a born again Christian. Ever since God saved me I have had such peace in my mind body and spirit. The feelings of being rejected or the patterns of people playing childish child hood games just doesnt bother me anymore. I use to curse alot and call people names and now I don’t curse at all. I acted it out and when I was done wrong. Now when it happens I just play it cool and finese the situation and keep it moving. People ask me am I stressing I tell them no all the time I am calm because God has changed me. I care for people but I won’t let you run over me in a graceful way. It’s a very peaceful experience and God really has shown me the patterns of this world. I thank him for removing people out of my life and putting me in a better situation.
This was the most real thing I have read for a while, a long while and inspired me not to care more, but I do care about being real and authentic – very rare. some advice given – not bad advice – but we do not know , I do not know. I get a glimpse of ineffable beauty and love, more than a glimpse of stupidity, ignorance, greed hatred, unspeakable acts of cruelty, and the killing/destruction of pretty much everything on our beautiful planet. I know which I prefer. It is no longer possible for me to operate within our insane obviously unsustainable system. Where to now, I do not know. Already beyond the last crossroad? One last tango not a bad way to go – where/
I just don’t care. I’m closer than ever to getting the Mossberg 500, a box of rifled slugs and putting one into my brain. No one cares. My wife hasn’t had sex with me in eight years, and she really doesn’t fucking care any more. I just want this torture to be over.
Am sorry that your going through such hell! I do understand as I too have danced with taking my own life and well have tried a few times in the past. And for me there was only two reasons I wanted to take my own life one pain sucks ass I was so tired of trying and feeling pain just didn’t want to feel anymore pain! But if I had to be honest I wanted the other person who hurt me to suffer with knowing that he was the reason for my sorrow that drove me to take my life! Like many of us I was one that cared to much my goal was to please everyone I always put myself last. I still remember the day I woke up and said damn I just don’t give a damn anymore. The day he left he even said you just stop caring about everything and I did. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him I just didn’t feel the need to bend over backwards anymore for him or anyone else for that matter. See everyone in my life was use to me doing for them so when I stopped doing that is when he left! And yes its painful as hell when your in a loveless marriage or relationship. I myself do believe that when you feel lost hopeless and that nobody gives a flying fuck its normal to feel alone like its over and you wish to end it all! But there’s a lot of freedom when you say I just don’t give a fuck anymore! I myself am thinking about just walking right out of my life meaning just pack a few clothes and some pictures and all this material crap that’s here well am leaving it behind after all its just things. Most people would say oh no what about a place to live,money,job, fuck that we are taught that we should do certain things in our life to insure our happiness and all that crap! And after being in this world for almost 43 yes it hasn’t worked for me yet so this time am gonna do it my way if it means am living in a tent by the river then so be it just know that what your feeling is normal it doesn’t mean your messed up in the head it just means your human with a heart and NO your not alone am here if you just need to talk
im sorry but i dont care either
I’m so sorry
Hang in there please
Hugs
Please shoot me first!!!
nothing matters? what about nothing mattering? does that matter?
lol nah
Pete, please don’t do anything final. I’m from OZ and feel similar. Contact me for support x don’t give up you are NOT alone
How is this empowering? To me “I don’t care” is the same as I have no idea what I want because if you don’t care about anything that is you don’t have any desire of anything, no clue where and what you want to be. So how would you get empowered by dumping all when you have no idea what you want? On the contrary, I believe it is empowering to have a goal whichever that is, aligned with your own ideals, and do whatever it takes to get at least closer to it. This brings meaning. Otherwise, one is let floating without any direction and influenced by people and circumstances.
I don’t even give a fuck about reading this……….
You boring self obsessed egotistical douche stain
Oh ya whatever, ask someone that gives a flying fuck in a rolling doughnut.
Thank you so much for this.
I realised I had removed a lot of worry, but not entirely.
I know the path for me now is to just be constantly in the moment and not care about achieving anything or what other people think of me or worry about what to say to people.
Just live in the moment and whatever happens happens.
Cheers
well you kinda got me the first part… then you started telling me what to do.. I don’t want empowerment. ..I just want to be alone for eternity. I don’t want advice.
you see for too long I was was the nice guy… doing everything for everyone. Blood sweat and tears blah blah blah…
and I get jack shit. no one would ever think of helping me out whenever I had issues. . not even my family. they think once I graduated with my hospitality degree I should have looked for a job. my ex expected me to be able to hook us up with those amazing discounts and complimentary rooms and vaycays…
but what about me? just me? and this isnt sulking nooo…
I know at this point no one and nothing else will prevail.
so I guess we’re the ones they say are here to ‘exist’
I say I have a one track mind and refused to let the world suck me in to things that are routine.
You must have read the book The Power of Now. I read it, and everything you mention about I am and being is explained in the book. Any hoot, love the humor in the beginning!
Especially what a Career woman makes for a Salary which i really Don’t give a Crap at all since Most of them are very Spoiled and very Selfish today as it is Unfortunately which is the Real Reason why many of us Good men are still Single now.
I’m glad I found this, because that’s how I feel right now. I gave up on making people to do something for a change, because it was really tiring. I literally killed my old self and now I’m just figuring what kind of person I really am and what are my life goals.
If you can’t revolutionize the world, then revolutionize your own.
1. Am I responsible for my own sufferings or happiness (thoughts)? If so, am I in control of my mental well-being?
2. If I stopped caring, what am I? Is it possible to care for others without expectations of any kind?
4. How to go about doing one’s own duty without really caring for the fruits (good/ bad) of its labour?
5. This is related to the first challenge…..Is it possible to stop thought? If so, how (without killing oneself!)?
You figure these out and you will know how to end your frozen stupor!
You miss spelled enema – but that notwithstanding, what you said is right on target and exactly what I needed to hear. Or read. It explains what has been happening to me internally since before my Mom died. I’m assuming that I picked up the cues from her late last year and did not realize it. She is my blood and there must be a direct connection between her emotions and mine after all. As she was preparing to die, I was morphing into my own “death.” As she was being resurrected into heaven, I was being changed into a new and stronger “self” on earth. Thank you for putting it into words and validating what’s been going on with me internally. I AM in charge of my life and I will say “no” when asked to do something I no longer care to do! And I will do my own thing! I’m 71 and I’ve earned it and my parents have made it possible!
(Now I’ll read the other comments!)
You may find your answers in Buddhism. Not only will you learn to dissolve the sense of self and the ego through recognising the interdependency of all things, but alongside, you will learn to develop loving kindness and compassion for all living things. You can care and be loving whilst not expecting anything in return. This is the way to true happiness.
You had me until you said spread the empowerment and uplifting. I do not have energy for that anymore. I do not care. And I think few people deserve that. I know what you are going to say, be nice because you are nice not because others deserve it and stuff like that. But I simply do not care. I just do not care.
So I feel like I related to this post, but I’m not sure. But if I’m gonna explain my particular predicament I guess I gotta start from the beginning. So back when I was a kid I grew up on my parents ranch with my brother, mother and father. As a kid I can remember doing all kinds of things and carrying on like a wild child. Shot guns, rode 4 wheelers and dirt bikes and was always doing something potentially dangerous and getting in trouble a lot. Fought with my brother a lot, like argue and even got into physical fights often (we are now very close and get along really well) in elementary school I was always wild and trying to show off, obviously to be seen as “cool” by my peers and to get attention. I feel like I was compulsive and erratic, easily distracted by other kids goofing off in class or what not and joined in the behavior, or started it myself. Maybe it was to get attention? Idk. My mother was told I showed signs of ADHD, because of how easily distracted I got by silly things and acted out in very obnoxious ways. In junior high and high school I liked to be liked and accepted (I mean who doesn’t, right?) and this meant by everyone. I feel like I went out of my way, acted differently around different groups as if I was conforming my own behavior to mimic theirs to relate to what they did or were talking about to get attention and feel accepted by everyone. Scary part is I got very good at it. I could switch my behavior and personality on a dime, from being loud and obnoxious around a certain group or clique to being calm and cool and not seeming to give a dam about anything around others. Reason I bring this up is I feel like I still do this, and idk if this makes sense, but in all the chaos of me constantly switching my attitude and behaviors, I feel like I lost a grip on who I really am, just me and how I act when no one else is around, when I can relax and just do my own thing. I go out of my way to help others with things like moving stuff from their house, etc, and I feel like I do it for approval or for their acceptance or to feel like they accept and like me as their friend. I would drop everything I was doing (it could be minor to major tasks I needed to get done for myself) to go and help others with their things. Spending a lot of money in fuel to run around everywhere, not finishing homework assignments to go party, etc. I feel like I was more concerned with them liking me and feeling accepted than doing things for me. This has lead me to go into debt because of compulsive buying of things like a fancy truck so people would always want to hang out and ride with me, etc. I would also lie about things I said i have done when I really haven’t to impress others. I feel so drained nowadays, all these bills cause of this debt I’m in because of the compulsive spending I have done, focusing on messing around instead of doing the things I needed to do so I can have the future I want, everyone still wants me to do a ton of stuff for them all the time but never want to help me out, and I can’t cause I either don’t have enough money to put enough fuel in my car to go to where they are and then get up and make it to work without running out of fuel, I have to turn them down and I hate that cause it makes me feel like there opinions of me go way down when I don’t do what they ask me to do. I hate caring about all of this. I hate how I have an automatic response of “yeah I’ll come help you with that, let me drop all the extremely important things I’m doing to come do that for you” and I don’t stop to think how what I’m doing is more important. I can’t seem to get myself to stop and think and say no. I hate that I care and am always stressing about what other people think. I want to just not give a dam and tell everyone “nope sorry figure it out on your own” and not feel bad about not helping them. Idk if any of that makes sense but hopefully someone can relate.
Im not saying im right, this is just my opinion. I understand where you’re coming from you are a people pleaser. I think you should do something from the goodness of your heart, not to please people. If they’re your true friends they will like you no matter if you’re able to help or not. If you’re unable too it’s okay. Don’t go out of your way to do stuff for other people if they aren’t your close friends or family because you don’t know if there selfish and only care bout themselves anyway. Why would you want friends like that? Be true to yourself you sound like a nice person. Learn to love you and your own company. If you don’t know who you are then how will anyone be able to like you because you don’t have your own true personality and try to adapt to there’s jus to please them.
smoke a joint
when I got to your post, I realized I read this before-both times I laughed! Thankyou!
I’m going through this at the moment and I needed to read this. it feels kind of surreal. if I didn’t know better I would think that I’d had some sort of psychedelic experience but I know I haven’t. it feels good. I’ve always sweated the small stuff and now I feel like I’m letting go.
All i have to do is just worry about myself to Survive.
I get it. Believe me. After 48 years of knocking myself out to please family, bosses, friends, coworkers, only to have them turn around and snap and snarl at me, I am done. I’d like to divorce myself from humanity and lie on a sunny beach somewhere, gazing at the sparkling blue water and thinking of nothing. These days, the only motivating factor in my life is my cats, whom I love dearly. I will take care of them till they pass. After that, I’m looking for alcohol and pills, and I’m going to retire permanently.
I normally don’t even leave comments when it comes to articles but I’m experiencing a huge synchronicity (coincidences that fit to current events in your life) right now. The fact that this article has been published JUST when I’m actually feeling exactly how the author described it is simply NUTS.
Same here and I think I just start thinking like just I don’t care because of depressions, caring too much, and a highly stress i had it before in my life when I was a kid until i become an 18 years old, so i just feel like I’m a cold person and there’s no feeling anymore, and that is not what i like, i want to be a very serious, motivated, full of feelings and love, smart, and like to live the beautiful life, and as soon as I found something or solution of this problem i will typed here 🙂 .
I just cried after reading this. I knew I wasn’t depressed but when I say to people that I just don’t care…they say that I’m depressed. I’m not. I have a rewarding job that doesn’t make a lot of money. I’m a single mom. I have a very supportive family. I just don’t care anymore. I just AM! Me.
This post fell into its own mind trap.
Nice effort though.
Spot on! my excat feelings, nice synchronization event flowing with the slightly chaotic rapid change of spring. Living from heart, miracles are achieved. <3
Thank you for this article. I suffer from depression and anxiety at its worse. I use to worry out the ass, but for the past year or so, im finally saying screw it anymore. Life has kicked me around, and knocked me down countless times to me getting right back up. Its not worth it anymore. My life is completely different from others and now im seeing that. Ive realized that nothing really matters anymore, and im done trying to be perfect. And planning things. Things are going to turn out the way theyre going to be. My attitude these days is “it is what it is”.
I am glad you were an inspiration to many.
I think its all bollocks what you say.
Your article does not even come to helping me and any way.
But thanks for trying to help the unfortunate’s like me.
I think the problem may be that hope is gone anymore. We have seen the endless lies the world has to offer and we’re just not buying the bullshit any longer. Our greedy, self serving leaders suck. We know there is a selfish and evil group of demons at the top of the pyramid that have all the wealth and call the shots. The system is rigged and we are feeling trapped and hopeless. There is not much left to lose. Why continue to waste my time in a bullshit job with no promises in the end. I fear the government will just take whatever they want in the end anyhow. It’s all headed in that direction. Technology is screwing us when it should be helping us…. enslaving us. Our lives and time are devoted to mindless busiwork and bullshit. What is it really all worth in the end?
This was beautiful!
Love from India
I also don’t care what others think of me. Is that so wrong? I was always taught that one should care about such things and it took me at least 30 years of my adult life to figure out that I don’t give a shit what others think. I try to live a good, wholesome life and I’ve come in to my own. So why do I feel like a lone ranger?
Interesting article. I didn’t see 10 reasons listed anywhere though, but interesting nonetheless. So basically, to sum it up, forget everything else around you and just do your thing. Yep, the world is more and more demanding these days and I haven’t been happy for years. I’ve naturally began leaning towards not giving a crap anymore just to feel free from all the demands and pressure life throws at us. Marriage, kids, career, finance, health, spirituality, social relations, self-improvement,… trying to balance all of these things is enough to drive to a sane person mad. I guess we have to come to a moment where we stop giving a crap about all of it and just BE. Even as I write this, the thought of just BEING makes me feel completely irresponsible which is adding to my stress. Do you think people can reach a point where, knowing what you know, you can’t go back and are doomed to just be miserable until we are taken from this earth? Hmmm….??
My partner broke up with me,but with the help of ___dr.mack201@gmail. com my partner came back
You are spot on!
Thanks for your thoughts…Sometimes saying “I don’t care” actually helps me suspend judgment and detach from things I don’t need to care about..then I can truly care in a more centered, open, non judgmental way.
If it were not for the he fact that I have two children. I no longer have any desire to live. I’ve done everything on my list of things to do before I die and live an honourable life. Everyone outside my family that I have loved has discarded me, I have always loved freely, not been needy and never made demands. I am just not wanted. So I live this existence that I just don’t care and pretend for everyone else’s sake that I’m happy, that my contribution is worthy and spend my time helping people come out depression. It’s what I do for work. I try not to talk to people about this because they do not need to worry about me. I don’t care for myself. I want nothing for myself and I’m tired. I want to feel nothing. I exist.
.well, I must say it’s worth a read, I am happy I stumbled upon it thanks.
One thing I realized lately is the fact that the world we live in presently is sitting on a foundation of serious lies, the society on the other hand puts unneccesary pressure on you to do things and live your life in a certain way, even those to assist us in building hopes think they are doing there best buh what they don’t know is there so called best is unintentionally killing us slowly without knowing.
.then we come to life which generally don’t care about your outcome. in the end you realize you are on your own That is ‘ Only you understands you, only you knows what best for you and only you can make yourself happy.
.buh the million dollar question which still baffles me and have been left unanswered is our actual purpose on earth? .what is the essence of our existence
The Author starts with
“I’m not 100% sure (what is causing depression on a global scale) but I’m going to give it a shot filtering it through my own realizations of late. I’ve been experiencing a death and rebirth of myself.”
The rest is relative to the author and not so much to others though kindly advice is perfectly fine, in reality all the “self help” books on earth, will not help you.
I do know why this is all happening, and I do understand fully the systemic nature of today’s world that is driving increases in suicide rates in certain demographics, rampant drug addictions, and massive increases in rates of depression, globally along with falls in life expectancy for the working classes.
It is very simple, you live in a world under an anti democratic economy that will never pay you what you produce per hour no matter how hard you work for someone above you.
You live in a world under an economy that prevents democracy in 70% of life spent at work, so that you cannot ever change that, your only option is to go find another job which you go into with hope, and eventually run up against the top down anti democratic organisation within each workplace, i.e. you can change the job all you like, but as an employee which some 85% of global workers fall into, that top down anti democratic relationship will never ever change, no matter what job you do for those above you.
You live in a world where that economic system, is now in its late stages, its inequalities accelerating every day, its condensations of wealth and political power unto few, taken from all, increasing every day.
You live in a world that is becoming increasingly destabilised due to the failures of capitalism. And if you don’t think it has failed, how else would you explain the bottom 70% of advanced nations finding they are paid less per hour today than they were for equivalent jobs in 1978, once you account for inflation.
You live in a world, under this capitalist economy, which is not compatible with what physics required of humanity to have a future, as due to the demand of 3% global avg growth per year which doubles capitalisms consumption of energy and many materials over each 33yr period, it cannot be used solve the greatest problem we face, climate change.
Depressed? you should be.
p.s. Trump, Bolsanaro, Brexit, five star, Paris in flames, on and on, these are symptoms, not causes unto themselves. Sleep well if you can, I don’t anymore.
Sometimes you just want it to end!
I actually would care about ending up living under a bridge. Fuck that.