Breaking up with someone is never easy, regardless of whether you were the one who walked away, or the one someone walked out on. Since times are hard during this sort of life events, this article is here to help you make things just a little bit easier.
Stop Waiting to Get Closure
Closure is extremely important because our minds naturally feel like they need some sort of explanation regarding why something ended. Still, it’s problematic, because even if you do get it, you’ll likely want more, but you can never get the full picture. So, try to stop waiting and hoping around for closure, and instead attempt to move on without it.
Allow Yourself to Feel Sad. For a Maximum of 3 Days
Feeling sad after you breakup with someone is nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn’t matter exactly how and why it happened, you just lost someone you likely cared about a great deal. So allow yourself to feel that sadness. Cry if you have to, watch sad movies, listen to breakup songs, whatever it takes. However, make sure to not contact him, since this may just make everything that much harder for you. The problem with feeling sad arises when you allow yourself to feel sad for an undetermined amount of time. With that in mind, give yourself the space to feel everything you want to, but for no more than 3 days.
Go Have Fun
After your mourning period is over, make sure to start making plans and go out in the world and have fun. This may look different depending on your personality. Perhaps you need to go out shopping with your best friend, or spend time in nature, or even party it up hard with MagicMen . It’s crucial to find your way of having fun, and lean into it.
Take Care of Yourself
Make sure to start investing in your relationship with yourself as soon as possible. If you can, try to do little things for yourself even in those 3 days of mourning. Something as simple as washing your hair, or changing out of those pajamas makes for a great starting point. After those 3 days are over, amp it up a bit, and try to engage in practices that feel nourishing for you and your mind. It may be having a bubble bath, going to the spa, or reading your favorite book again.
Start a New Hobby
Hobbies are amazing, and extremely important, since they keep your mind busy while helping you grow as a person. While you were in a relationship, it’s likely that spending time with your partner took up quite a bit of your time. Now, when you’re no longer involved with him, you got a lot of time on your hands. It’s best to fill it up with something that’s pleasant and productive.
Work on Positivity
It would be very easy to say things like “Be positive”, but it would probably be just as useless. Positivity is something you have to work on every day, not something you can just be, without putting in any effort. This is especially true when we’re talking about difficult life events, like a breakup. It’s very likely that you’ll wake up thinking of him, and that you’ll go to sleep thinking of him. Try to prime your mind to think positive by watching motivational videos, or repeating positive words to yourself like a mantra. The change won’t happen immediately, but the more you work on it, the more positive you’ll feel.
Track Thoughts
Tracking your thoughts on a subject-matter that’s bringing you loads of negative feelings may sound like a bad idea, but it can help. By doing so, you’ll be able to visualize them, and to bring them into awareness. After a while of doing this, you’ll start to notice that even you are getting bored of those thoughts and they will start to slowly fade away. Again, keep in mind that this isn’t something that’s going to happen overnight, so be prepared to put in some effort before it will actually pay off.
Stay Active
Going to the gym or starting an exercise program may not sound like a great idea right now, but here’s the thing: exercise has this amazing effect of both keeping you distracting and helping you feel empowered. By doing this, you’ll find yourself feeling more energetic and happier, which is exactly what you should be looking for.
It’s not easy going through a breakup, but if you allow yourself to feel the feelings of sadness you should be feeling, and then give yourself permission to move on, things are going to get easier a lot faster than they would if you were to allow that sadness to take over your life.
