It is summer time again, and everyone is excited. The fruit punch, a nice view of the sun, and all the scantily clad men and women will make you ask yourself – what is not to like? Well, for one, the humidity, and that not so summer fresh sensation of wetness creeping down your skin. And the worst one is the unflattering feel of sweat running down the buttocks otherwise known as the vile swamp ass. So, should we surrender to the searing heat, lock ourselves indoors, and run the AC at full blast? Well, no cause we are going to fight back. In this article we will look at the ways how to get rid of swamp ass.
People sweat differently, but for some reason, whichever region it comes from the body, it always ends up in the buttocks area. For instance, sweating from the head would drip down the spine and trickle down beneath the undies. This contaminated sweat would continue its way down to our legs and make you wish you did not wear shorts today. The smell can be embarrassing enough, but imagine needing to wipe off a dirty brown fluid upwards from the tip of a dangling sweat path. Most of us would rather just never be seen ever again, and they would be justified.
Swamp ass is more prevalent in men that are a bit overweight. This is because men naturally sweat more and obesity will not help. The layers of fat is perfect to ward off the extreme colds but when the cold season is over, it becomes an extra layer of heating that you will not need. So, as a fat guy myself, believe me when I say that the fight against swamp ass means more to me.
Because swamp ass is the direct effect of our bodies heating up, there are two ways that we can tackle this problem. The first one and the more obvious solution is to simply keep ourselves as cool as possible. And the second one is to let it drip but making sure that it won’t be visible. Let us take a look at ways on how to accomplish the first solution first.
How to Get Rid of Swamp Ass by Dressing Light
It is summer time so I do not have to tell you that you should shove the coats back to the end of the closet. This may not be enough however as there is quite a dilemma when choosing what to wear beneath the summer sun rays. If you wear something too skimpy then you are left to the mercy of the direct sun beam. And if you wear something that covers you up then you will be slow cooked by the walls of your own clothes. The trick here, is to find the balance and will also depend on the situation. Thinking about going to the beach? Then men's swim trunks or a bikini is advisable. But if you are going to walk in the city, you should wear something that, at the very least, covers your back. The last thing we want to happen if we are trying to prevent a swamp down there is to have a sweaty back.
By wearing light, we do not simply mean wearing something that has little fabric. You also should think of light as the kind of color you ought to wear. Everyone knows that lighter colors reflect light and darker colors tend to absorb it. Wear lighter colors so you will not be a lighting rod of heat amidst the summer sky. If you insist on wearing your backless top, then consider bringing along a shawl to ward off the sun’s angry light. And, again, choose a lighter colored shawl because you might just be making it worse for yourself otherwise.
How to Get Rid of Swamp Ass by Harnessing the Power of Modern Technology
While, I personally would advise against it, a sure way to keep cool is to crank up the air conditioners and staying indoors for as long as the sun is beating down on the streets. The reason I am not for this is because of two things. One, global warming is real and you are making it worse by abusing your air conditioner. And two, imagine the electricity bill after a few hours of chilling at home.
There are a few ways however that you limit air conditioner usage and still feel breezy and fresh. You can, for instance, block out the lights. At the risk of sounding like a complete nerd, I have to point out that light can be interpreted as both a wave and a particle. Its particle allows it to carry heat as energy. Meanwhile, its wave persona allows itself to bring this heat from distance to distance. Every ray of light that enters your home will heat up the room whether you like it or not. This is why you have to block the lights if you can. Another way you can limit the consumption is by using the right kind of air conditioner. Though pricier, inverter air conditioners will get you back the money you spent by limiting the amount you have to pay on your electricity bill. This means less expense in the bill while simultaneously lessening the carbon footprint that you are contributing.
How to Get Rid of Swamp Ass by Quenching your Thirst
Drinking fluids to prevent yourself from sweating too much is a double-edged sword. Drink too much then your body will have to get rid of that liquid somehow and if you drink too little then you might not accomplish the cooling that you hoped for. The matter of how much to drink is really up to you. If you are already sweating like crazy, then drinking something will probably not do you any favors. But if your sweat situation is still salvageable then you should focus on what you drink. Make sure you are drinking something extremely cold so your body feel the effect. If you drink something cold, your body will be convinced that you do not have to sweat as much. Sweating is, after all, our body’s response from feeling too hot.
Avoid drinking alcoholic beverages as alcohol can make your body heat up and defeat the purpose of trying to cool yourself down with a drink. Choose drinks that are naturally flavored like lemonades and plain iced water. Sweating can also be triggered by drinking something that our body tends to cast out like the chemicals in unnatural flavoring.
Personally, this is one of my favorite parts of the summer. Chugging on a cold soda can on a hot scorching sun is probably one of the few pleasures that is maybe a bit too peculiar.
How to Get Rid of Swamp Ass by Taking the Plunge
The best way to cool yourself off is by simply cooling yourself off. Taking a shower is a surefire way to cool you down unless you turn the knob on towards hot. Take a shower as often as needed. It does not only cool you down but also cleans you of the sweat that was causing your swamp ass problem in the first place. By ensuring that each part of your body is sparky clean, even if some sweat passes down your summer shorts, it should not be as noticeable as a nasty brown liquid of an unshowered body.
Another way that you can appreciate the summer plunge is by diving into pools and beaches. It cools you down and lets you enjoy the summer sun. Though it would be rude to dive into the pool without taking a shower first. And if you already have a swamp ass situation going on, then maybe let the other pool-goers enjoy a sanitary swim.
How to Get Rid of Swamp Ass by Using Some Products
If cooling yourself down is not enough, you might want to procure professional help. There are many products out there that can help you with your sticky situation. For example, the swamp ass powder that is now commonly sold can assist you when trying to rid yourself of the problem. There are natural alternatives of course but some might not be as effective. This powder helps you in two ways. One, it has a cooling effect that penetrates your skin. And two, it dries off any sweat before it reaches your bottom.
How to Get Rid of Swamp Ass by Hiring Help
If you have tried everything on here and is still dragging on a leaky bum, then you might want to try calling in the big guns. Since the sweat glands are still part of our skin, this condition falls into the hands of dermatologists. Ask them for specific ways to limit your sweating in the back. He or she might also recommend a change of diet to make sure that your will not feel the need to cast out toxins through sweat. And finally, your swamp ass might be a cause of a condition that you may not be aware of.
