I always have a smile in my face whenever I see old couples walking around and still looking sweet and happy. They’re probably way past their silver (25^th) anniversary and on their way to their golden wedding anniversary. I wonder what factors contributed to their lasting marriage. Is it open communication? Financial stability? I dig up some research and apparently, it’s about how they’ve spent their first few years of marriage.

In the US, the average longevity of a marriage is around 8.2 years with the State of New York holding the longest average year of 12.2 years. Eight years is quite a long time but marriage, I believe, should be forever. At least, that’s the promise that couples swear while in front of an altar.

According to Ted Huston, Ph.D., a professor of Psychology and Human Ecology at the University of Texas, the longevity of marriage can be decided within its two years of existence. Meaning there is a lot of significant happenings and events that can greatly contribute to the health of a relationship in the first few years of marriage.

If you believe in the sanctity of marriage, here are some reasons why your first few years of marriage are important and how to properly address them to have the promise of forever.

Deeper Understanding Of Each Other

You’ve probably gone on numerous dinner dates and movie nights, even spent holidays with each other’s family but living under one roof entails a whole new level of understanding. If you think you’ve completely known your spouse over the course of your dating relationship, being married to them is different.

Sharing your life with a significant other opens up new revelations and understanding to one another. You are going to see first hand the habits he or she does while in the comfort of your home. You will know the things they like and dislike. The type of hygiene practices they have. How they sleep. How loud they snore when sleeping. How they confront conflicts. How clingy they are when sick. Witnessing and experiencing all these and more will result in a deeper understanding.

Financial Compatibility

Some married couple may not admit it but financial issue is a common topic in the household. Issues like who provides more income for the family and who spends more on unnecessary wants. During your first years in marriage, you’ll get to learn how to find a balance between financial matters. Not only do you learn to share everything you had with your spouse but also how to handle spending habits and money problems together.

In the long run, learning how to strike the perfect balance between financial stuff will result to better married life. Since you understand how they handle money, you will have fewer disagreements and more mature discussion and agreements about it.

Intimacy Issues

Of course, you still find your partner sexy and physically appealing. You haven’t lost your libido either but the thing with adult life is that it can easily become busy. Even if you go home to the same house, does not mean you have the same amount of energy at night. Not to mention, having those romantic intimate moments have become more of a task, especially when you are trying to conceive a child, when it should be used to keep your flame alight.

Always keep in mind that you work for a living, not live to work. Make time for you and your partner and schedule weekly dates and movie nights. Know your priorities in life, I don’t need to tell you but it is your family – your wife or husband, make them happy.

Post-Wedding Blues

Post-wedding depression is a common silent killer to many marriages. It starts as early as a few weeks right after your wedding ceremony. It is caused by the culmination of your what ifs, doubts and diminishing feeling of excitement.

Prior to your wedding day, you have probably been planning at least for a year in order to have a perfect day. You’ve possibly done one of these preparations:

• visits to churches
• potential reception venues
• food and wine tasting
• flower selection
• wedding gown fittings

All these have become a routine and is overwhelming exhilarating. So the moment all of these is over, you will feel some sort of lackluster emotions. Things have started becoming simple, minute and boring.

You need to rise to these challenge by celebrating small victories that surround your relationship like maybe designing or renovating your house, cultivating your garden, taking care of pets and even being able to make time for a romantic date nights. Every small step, development, and progress should be a cause for celebration. This will steadily sustain that happy exciting experience you had while preparing and will ultimately become a habit for the both of you.