“Dating” had humble beginnings, if you can believe it. There was a point in time (in the early part of the 20th century) where if a young man was interested in a young lady, he would go straight to her parents and ask for their permission and blessing to pursue her. If her parents gave him their approval, he would then “call on” the young lady… meaning that he would go visit her at her home while chaperoned by her parents.
Back then, some families had a common room or family room for their daughters to entertain “callers” while being chaperoned… this ensured no “funny business.” For those families that didn’t have the luxury of having a designated area for entertainment, would allow their daughters to go to public places to get to know their “caller.”
Going out in public also ensured the parents that there was no “funny business” going on. But the whole aspect of going out in public to get to know each other set the tone for a lot of relationships and is actually how “going out on a date” came into existence. If the young couple hit it off and liked each other, then they would continue to date with the intent of marriage.
Is Chivalry Really Dead?
If you’re single, then you’re probably able to tell how men were raised based on how they treat you on dates. There are still men out there who believe in opening doors and picking you up and driving to the dates… those are men who you would consider as traditional or “old-fashioned.”
In today’s world of dating, it’s a rare sighting but those men do still exist and there are still women out there who enjoy those kind gestures. So to answer the age-old question “is chivalry dead?” No, it’s not… but it’s slowly moving to extinction.
So What're the Big Differences?
Well, back then, when you were single and dating, monogamous relationships were considered as the only way to date… one person at a time. Today, one of the perks of being single is that you get to date whoever you want and however many people you want… at the same time too!
In the world of dating, the biggest change is how people “meet” and communicate. This change in how people meet and communicate has occurred due to the advancement of technology. As mentioned earlier, if a man wanted to pursue a lady, he would need the approval of her parents in the very beginning.
It’s the complete opposite today. In the world of dating today, if a man is interested in a woman, he’ll pursue her on his own and worry about meeting her parents later.
The “Meet-Ups” and Communication Skills
As mentioned above, the way we meet for dates is what’s the big difference. We’ve already hit on the “old-fashioned” way of dating… we’re now going to touch on the new ways we date.
Social Media
Social media is the newest way that people meet. “Meeting” on social media allows you to find out a person before you even have to make the decision of whether or not you want to go on a first date with them. Using social media as a platform to meet someone is when you want to make sure you don’t have anything on there that would work against you.
You’ve heard people talking about how someone “slid through their DM?” Well, they’re referencing how someone sent them a direct message to the social media account. These messages can be the result of a picture you posted that someone liked.
Dating Apps
There are now dating apps out that cater to romantic desires and fantasies without the hassle of being in a monogamous relationship. These particular apps are great when you want to have fun with “no strings attached.” For those that are “old-fashioned,” this type of dating would be daunting but for those that are open to trying new things, this type of dating would be right up your alley.
Texting
Yes, you could pick up the phone and call the person you’re interested in and have an actual phone conversation with them but that’s too much work. It’s much easier to just communicate through texts. If a “caller” tried to pull that back then, the young lady’s parents would instantly not approve of him!
Ever since texting came to be, society has lost all the evidence that we can verbally communicate. Psychology Today talks about how the social rules of dating change from generation to generation.
Texting is essentially is causing people to forget how to use their social skills. If you’re dating someone who is more traditional, then you better brush up on your communication skills instead of your typing skills.
