Nothing else ties us to Earth, as relationships. We can be flying high and boom, a thunderbolt cracks and hits near our feet. We are struck, not mortally, but within; a shuddering, a guttural disturbance, an ache. A while back when this happened to me, I looked up to the clear skies, sun dappling through the large leaves above my head and wondered. Did they notice the bolt that electrified my heart? Did they tremble as tears welled in my eyes? Their calmness, gentleness caressed my senses. They did seem to tremble in the almost still breeze. The spider casting its web said, “It's all ok. This too shall pass.”
The Response when Relationships are Strained…
In times as these when close relationships are tense and maybe strained due to close quarters and differing ideologies, I say to myself: There is but only one response – whether right or wrong, ripe or unripe and that is to love fully, completely, always. The other is gratitude for communication. When words come from a dear one, like it or not, lessons are to be learned. I am open, I am vulnerable and I am love. To be human is to fully experience the highs and lows of relationships with others.
Why Don't They See What I See?
You may see yourself as authentic, real, genuine, truthful and others may not see this. They may see you through the lens of perception that exists in another plane. The plane coexists at one point, yet it is a tangent and thus goes in another direction, away from yours. So now exists the dilemma. Your view or their view? You say, they don’t respect me and they say, you are extreme, so how can I trust you? How can this be resolved?
What Should I Practice?
Patience, forgiveness, acceptance, compassion and every other positive quality that chooses relationship over regret. That chooses the now over the past or future.
How long can we lock ourselves and others away? How long can we allow our perceptions of the past bury our current opportunities?
In the presence of unlimited love, victim and victor vanish. Oppressor and oppressed cease. Troubler and troubled dissipate. Divided and divisor are equal. Truth remains as the great equalizer. It generates common ground that is fearless and powerless. Because as power and fear are relinquished what remains is purity, essence, vitality, wholeness, right relationship, restoration and an inner guidance that never fail no matter what the physical circumstance. A beauty walker emerges that truly loves and sees beyond the trouble perceived.
Who Should I Choose First?
My friends, be kind to yourself first. From this place, you can choose to love others and not place their expectations on your choices. Remember that each of us have own path to follow. As our paths intersect and are enriched by others, ultimately we can serve each other by first taking care of our own relationship with ourself first. Then, from this healthy perspective we can serve and love others.
Julia Parsell is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor with an emphasis on the intersection of science and the sacred. She writes from experiences and transformative understandings that have led her to an authentic and peaceful life. She goes by these names: wife, daughter, grandmother, mother, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, and friend. As home educator of her three children, she also developed/ran cafes, and maintained various leadership roles within her community. Her greatest desire is to encourage others to live life fully. Her passions are family, art creation, writing, and trail blazing. She is happily married in Western North Carolina.
