Mother's Day is the one day of the year dedicated to celebrating moms (though many of us would say we celebrate ours year-round). But then, what happens if, for whatever reason, your mom is no longer in your life? What's the best way to navigate this difficult situation?
If you, or someone you love, are facing your first Mother's Day without your mom, it's important to remember that you're allowed to find it difficult. There's also no one right or wrong way to do things. You need to make sure you do what works for you, and not stick to any prescribed idea of what you ‘should' do. You'll probably experience a huge range of emotions, and it's important to be kind to yourself.
Self-care is key. Grief is physically, emotionally, and mentally draining, especially on days such as Mother's Day. Make sure you eat well (a GiftTree fruit basket delivery is a great idea if a loved one is going through this) and drink plenty of water. Rest when you need to, but don’t feel like you have to stay home all day if that’s not what will make you feel better. A brisk walk in the fresh air could do the world of good.
You also need to give yourself the space to think freely about your mom, your relationship, and how much you miss her. You don't need to keep a lid on your emotions! We need to allow ourselves to feel what we feel even when it's hard and things have changed. Her loss doesn't make your mom any less important, so you need to remember her in a way that honors you both.
Visit the cemetery and place flowers. Sit and talk awhile. These small rituals can help us feel more connected to the people we've lost, which is an essential part of the grieving process. If you have your own children, or other family members, get together and remember the good times with your mom.
You could also spend the day doing one of your mom’s favorite things – walking on the beach, gardening, crafting, knitting, reading, or whatever it is. This is a great way to trigger happy memories and feel close to your mom even though she's no longer with you.
A first Mother's Day without your mom can be particularly difficult if you have your own children, as while you're being celebrated, it also offers a painful reminder of your own mom's absence. It's okay to grieve in these moments, but remember to celebrate the family that you do have, too, and allow your children to show their appreciation.
Always remember that while your mom may be gone in body, her spirit and memory lives on in you and everyone else she met throughout her life. Keep her with you at all times, and don't be afraid of talking about her, sharing memories, and keeping her in your mind. We're often told that we need to ‘get over' grief, and to an extent, that's true. Life does go on. But then, that doesn't mean we can't find solace in being reminded of those we've loved and lost.
