Move out before you move on! – This is the golden rule of happy and full life after divorce (no, it’s not a myth – it does exist).
Unless you completely get over the breakup, any new relationship is doomed to be a rebound relationship, and it’s neither good nor bad. If this experience is gonna hurt or benefit both you and your new partner, it depends completely on your initial mood and feelings about the whole situation.
Statistics say that people jumping into a relationship after divorce get over their ex-lover more quickly and feel more confident in their date-ability. These facts are based on research, which shows that people with high attachment anxiety are better able to detect their emotional attachment to the ex-partner when diving into a new relationship.
However, we also can’t deny that a rebound relationship in most cases is an effort to satisfy your ego, revenge your ex-spouse, to find a shoulder to cry on, and escape from the situation of being alone. Thus, dating on the rebound is always endangered to be a temporary solution for healing your wounds. Truly, selfish, but a win-win option for the ones who are getting over a divorce. But, on the other hand, absolutely cruel way to use another alive human being as a coping mechanism.
Are You in a Relationship with Someone on the Rebound?
Being in a relationship with someone on the rebound means going out with a needy and vulnerable person, which in 98% cases use you as someone responsible for their need to feel better, a temporary band-aid, instead of partnering.
You, as a less emotionally-influenced part of the rebound relationship, should realize all the danger of dating with a person jumping into a relationship after divorce, who feels anxiety and confusion, loneliness and depression, has low self-esteem and is in despair. Moreover, this will involve you in feeling the pain you don’t wanna feel at all.
What Can Attract You?
Dating someone who is building a rebound relationship to recover from divorce can be attractive from this perspective: such vulnerable people are like an open book. They don’t hide their feelings, they talk about their pain, they share their real thoughts, and the tell how grateful they are for meeting you.
All these factors make you think that you’re needed and loved so much, however, in most cases, it’s all appearance and one of you will be hurt.
Negative Consequences of the Rebound Relationship
The person you support, listen, take care of, encourage, help to feel more secure and attractive, and probably love, will get over soon and realize that they’re grateful a lot for everything you’ve done for them but you’re not someone they love in a romantic way. That hurts a lot.
How to Recover from a Rebound Relationship?
Trying to figure out how to get over someone who used you for a rebound relationship can be a real doozy. Anger, pain, unworthiness, and aching heart… how to deal with these symptoms?
- Keep in Touch
Communicate and socialize as much as possible: relatives, friends, and even strangers – just don’t withdraw into yourself.
- Learn the Lesson
Try to consider this experience as a life lesson, not a punishment, and make sure you’ve learned it well.
- Stay Active
Engage yourself in various activities, find a new hobby, and don’t let yourself get bored. Traveling, working out, dancing, eating out, going to the cinema, volunteering, taking classes at night school, or hiking – it’s just anything you like goes.
- Treat Yourself
Don’t deny yourself pleasant little things: a cup of your favorite cappuccino in the local coffee house, a glass of wine in an expensive restaurant, a purchase you’ve been dreaming about for such a long time.
Final Word
Based on my personal experience, any rebound relationship is doomed to fail and hurt. So, before starting dating someone or jumping into a relationship after divorce, think twice. Stay wise and reasonable: offer your support but not your heart.
Written by Andrew Guerra https://sweetytextmessages.com
