Not responding to any requests and questions verbally is a powerful way to disappoint someone. People use this in a variety of situations and relationships, including romantic relationships. It's even more frustrating and emotionally exhausting when you're at the receiving end of the treatment.
If you're looking for the best remedies for silent treatment, this resource is for you. In this article, learn about the best ways to deal with these kinds of situations.
Why Do Some People Use Silent Treatment?
People can use this narcissistic treatment for a variety of reasons. During the entire time, they prohibit speaking or interacting directly with a particular person or group of people. They may do this for the following three broad reasons:
Avoidance
This is the most common reason someone might adopt silent treatment. They want to avoid interaction with someone and hence remain silent and don't respond to the messages.
Not Knowing How to Communicate
A person may remain narcissistically silent because they don't know how to interact with someone in a particular situation. They might face a dilemma and are too afraid to talk. Hence, they choose to stay silent instead.
As a Punishment
A rather typical reason in close relationships is that a person stays silent to punish someone for wrongdoing. You can call it a form of emotional abuse where a person tries to exert control or power.
Learning why someone is exercising it is the key to handling it. So as the first measure, learn about the reason.
When it Becomes Abusive?
Your handling will also depend on if the silent treatment is abusive. Recognize when it becomes abusive. Since there is no physical abuse involved, it becomes hard to know what can be considered abuse.
As mentioned above, as the third reason, people can use silent treatment as a tool to exert control and power. When you're on the receiving end, you'll feel ostracized. This is considered emotional abuse.
Research has proven that this form of behavior can cause significant mental strain and reduce your self-esteem. Whenever you see such behaviors, you can be sure that the person wants to hurt you emotionally.
How to Handle Silent Abuse or Treatment?
Most people get confused about their love for the person ignoring them and the manifestation of their fear of being abandoned. Therefore, they do not take any action and end up enduring all the pain. But that's not how to handle narcissistic silent treatment.
The first thing you'd need to do is figure out why that might have prompted the person to display such behavior. Is it a previous dispute? Or is it something unrelated to you? Whatever it might be, it's better to figure out the root of the cause.
Then, follow the steps below:
- Have a Meaningful, Gentle Conversation
To resolve the issue, you need to start with having a gentle conversation about why the person is displaying such behavior. If it's abnormal and they don't regularly exercise such behavior towards you, it might be a minor issue. You can resolve this with a meaningful talk. So even if he or she is not talking to you, find ways to have a conversation.
- Ignore Until Things Stabilize
You need to understand that being silent doesn't always mean that the person is trying to hurt you. As mentioned previously, it might be they just want some isolated time alone or don't know how to communicate about an issue. In such cases, you can ignore their treatment toward you and wait till things stabilize.
- Compromise or Find Some Common Ground
After you've figured out the cause, you need to find common ground. Common ground is where both of you agree on a specific term and get back to normal. The person starts communicating and responding to you as usual. In most cases, one party has to compromise. Compromise leads to a solution that helps break the narcissist treatment cycle.
- Stand up for Yourself
When resolving the issue, you mustn't over-compromise and ignore yourself. In such cases, the person may end up dominating you — which might be one of their goals. So you need to stand up for yourself and keep your terms and statements forward. Otherwise, they will display the narcissistic silent treatment behavior once again in the future.
A counselor can better help in resolving these types of issues. It's often a simple solution to this seemingly complex problem that can do the trick. So whenever you face silent treatment from a loved one or office colleague, you should take help from an expert counselor.
