Marriage is no walk in the park. It is no fairytale either, which has a happy ever after. But what it is, is a relationship that can last if the two people involved have a conscious effort of keeping it together.
There is probably no secret to a perfect marriage as each couple has different struggles to contend with and various victories to celebrate. Two persons with diverse backgrounds and experiences who choose to live together will bring out the unique qualities of each one.
Through the length and breadth of your marriage, things will get sour rather than sweet. How will you know if the red flags you are seeing are tell-tale signs that you need professional help? Here are telltale signs that will tell you your marriage needs professional help.
Poor communication
A couple's first challenge usually manifests as a miscommunication. This scenario often happens when there is no comprehension due to angry yelling or no words exchanged. Couples should not make this lack of communication last very long and hire a therapist to help. A marriage counselor is needed to improve communication between a couple, so both will feel heard and understood.
Absence of intimacy
It is not all wines and laces throughout the marriage. There will come a time when the physical attraction between a couple will wane. Couples talk about the sexual chemistry that binds the husband and wife. But after a few years of being together, the couple finds sexual intimacy lacking. A professional marriage counselor with an LMFT degree online can analyze where your problems lie with your spouse in terms of physical intimacy.
Keeping secrets from each other
A marriage with either of the two components keeping secrets can be a real source of brawls for a married couple. Each individual indeed has his right to privacy, but if couples keep secrets from each other, a trip to the marriage counselor might be the key to bring your thoughts together.
Addiction to drugs or alcohol
Sometimes, one or both of the married couples become a slave to drugs or alcohol. If one-half of the couple is involved in such a fiasco, the other half should give support. But when both are into alcohol and substance abuse, there should be a need to call for professional help for the couples’ rehab treatment. Studies show that when couples rehab for substance abuse together, there is a lesser chance of having a relapse because they learn each other's weaknesses and triggers.
Financial infidelity
Money matters have always been one of the leading issues that lead relationships to smithereens. Marriage is no different from those. When one partner is the only one who knows the couples' financial stream's ins and outs or when one gets to do all the spending without consulting the other, then that is when the problem sets in. A marriage counselor will discuss how the couple addresses money issues by talking about the proper way to spend and the right way to talk about these financial concerns in a marriage.
Significant life changes
Major life changes in a married couple's life can also have a considerable impact on the relationship. Some couples have a hard time dealing with the loss of a loved one, moving places, the birth of a child, and other life-changing situations. There are times when a couple cannot cope with the issue on hand and needs professional advice.
Having an affair
When one partner is having or considering an affair, it means that something is lacking one wants to find outside. Sometimes it is hard to detect until the situation blows up. Marriage can survive an affair when both parties are willing to patch things up. A marriage counselor will be a vital person in the process of healing.
Not a team anymore
When a couple gets married, they feel that they are one and work as a single unit. But as time goes on, the different personalities clash, which can lead to treating your partner as an adversary. It is probably time to seek professional help to remind you and your partner that your marriage would work best if you are a team.
Every marriage has its quirks and unique challenges. It is understandable because each individual has separate views on handling finances or raising children. Marriage counseling can help couples reach a neutral ground and try to understand each other's points of view. When couples see blaring signs of disarray in a marriage, no time should be wasted in seeking professional help.