Bisexuality and Spiritual Enlightenment

Some believe that sexuality is assigned at birth. Some believe that one’s straightness or gayness is a result of uncontrollable environmental and biological factors. That may be true, but what about one’s bisexuality? What about all the desires and experiences that fall outside of the borderlines of straight and gay?

According to the National Health Statistics Report conducted by the CDC on 9,175 adults in 2016, Among those aged 18–44, 92.3% of women and 95.1% of men said they were “heterosexual or straight”; 1.3% of women and 1.9% of men said they were “homosexual, gay, or lesbian”; 5.5% of women and 2.0% of men said they were bisexual; and 0.9% of women and 1.0% of men said “don’t know” or “refused.”

Despite the above statistics, the idea that bisexuality can be associated with spiritual enlightenment is constructed on the idea that we live in a straight vs. gay world culturally. American consciousness has adapted to “straight couples,” and “gay couples,” but we never hear “bisexual couples.”

American society is binary in most factions. Black or white. Republican or Democrat. Rich or poor. The voices of the middle—the intersections of identity and culture—are drowned out by louder, wealthy voices. If TV and Film are any indication of bisexual visibility, “television still has work to do when it comes to telling bi stories with nuance and depth beyond shallow stereotypes or problematic tropes,” according to GLAAD Director of Entertainment Research, Megan Townsend.

Recently the hashtag #bisexualmenexist took over Twitter, causing many men to step forward to proclaim their existence. If you do a reverse Google keyword search on the term: bisexual people, hundreds of millions of people appear to be searching “how to meet bisexual people.” Other top keyword results are “how many people are bisexual,” and, “why do people hate bisexual people.”

We can qualify a bisexual's existence, but we can't quantify them, similar to the air we breathe. The Human Rights Campaign sites bi-erasure and bi-phobia as leading causes of suicide among bi-oriented people. The Bisexual Resource Center estimates that 40% of self-identifying bisexuals have contemplated suicide. Those that do speak up are exiled or invalidated or somehow create dread and fear, and many cannot handle the environment. In 2016, CNN reported that bisexuality was on the rise and that “it was not an easy orientation to adopt.”

But what if bisexuality was a conclusion for someone who was incarnated to experience the world in a heightened state of awareness and tasked to cope? What if the act of accepting one's bisexuality were spiritually colored?

What is a bisexual? According to Merriam Webster, bisexual means of, relating to, or characterized by sexual or romantic attraction to both men and women.

Many bi people will tell you; a same-sex itch emerges at some point during development; they think they are gay, the opposite-sex itch does not disappear. If puberty is awakening, a bisexual appears to go through two involuntary adolescences—two sexual awareness events. I think of it as light at the end of a tunnel suddenly being illuminated. As one approaches the source of the light to explore, they discover the glow is dichotomous—two suns at the end of a tunnel. In its purest sense, let's call these glows divine masculine and divine feminine energies. While beautiful to contemplate, the onset of bisexuality can be a frightening experience on a middle school playground where the lines are very clear. Boys talk about girls. Gay boys talk to girls about boys. Then there is the bisexual—bewildered.

Just think – A prepubescent virginal bi teen struggles to understand and thereby manage female and male “light” from sheer sensory overload, lack of vocabulary, and lack of appropriately coded stories on TV. Crushes are rampant and debilitating as a teen may struggle to establish lines between friendships, bonds, and hormones. The internal dialogue of being bi is tormenting without delving into physical sex.

Because of the social attitudes that exist toward bisexuals in straight and gay circles, and because of the invisible nature of bisexual experiences, for one to realize and accept their bisexuality may be a call to walk on a path, barefoot riddled with needles. Not only is mastery required to avoid mental anguish and perhaps abuse, but also spiritual resilience—to have faith that the pain endured is meaningful.

Below are stereotypes that a bisexual man or woman may face should they proclaim their existence.

He's two stops to gay/not gay enough (toward bi men)
He has diseases (toward bi men existing in secret)
She's a fake lesbian/she can't relate to lesbian issues (toward bi women)
She's a psycho (toward bi women)
They are in denial/unserious partners (toward both)
They can't be trusted and will cheat and cannot commit (toward both)
They are “greedy” (toward both)
They are promiscuous/oversexed/suitable for threesomes (toward both)
They are different/alien (toward both)

Motivational Speaker Wayne Dyer states, “If I could define enlightenment, I would say it is ‘the quiet acceptance of what is.'” We may never know someone else's heart or the story they tell themselves. All that truly matters is our conviction to our inner world and the story we tell ourselves despite the noise. Not all people are misguided in their judgments and assumptions, but each person is responsible for their own evolution.

All humans, bisexuals particularly, must understand if we want grace, we will need to show it over and over again. Grace to those who set out to crucify us. Grace to those who unintentionally cause us pain. Grace to those who may be allies and aware of our mindset, but will never bear responsibility for our lives. We must teach our heart and hold our heart accountable for its role in our unwavering, permanent safety and bask in the light that has bestowed upon us. The journey starts through internal reflection, honoring thy inner child, and practicing authenticity, and forgiveness.