Introduction
Ask most newlyweds and they’ll tell you life after marriage can change you in unexpected ways. The love quotes for weddings you hear in movies will leave you to believe that marriage is all holding hands and happily ever after, but some of these changes can be negative.
But, being aware of how marriage changes you enables you to understand what to expect and control your circumstances.
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Here are the 12 most common ways life changes when you get married.
Money:
Money is one of the most obvious and tangible ways a relationship changes after marriage. You’re sharing a life, which means sharing bank accounts. You’re going to be accountable to each other about spending which means impulse spending becomes far less frequent and replaced with more planning and budgeting.
Selfishness:
An immediate change to life after marriage is your state of being. The second you say “I Do” you stop becoming YOU and you become a WE. Each and every decision you make will impact your other half and it’s only natural that you’ll make decisions differently.
Work:
As mentioned, you’ll be making decisions differently after “I Do”, and a lot of this is apparent at work. You’ll often hear about men getting promotions after getting married or having a child. This is a direct result of that motivational shift that marriage triggers.
Habits:
This part of life after marriage can have a lot of giving and take. Once you’re married you’ll be a lot more concerned about the wellbeing of yourself and your spouse. You’ll be a little more aware of the small and large habits you’ve accumulated throughout your life and make a conscious effort to improve your mental and physical health.
Weekends:
Weekends are all about letting loose and having fun before marriage. After marriage, you’re going to prioritize relaxation and progress. With the hustle of the workweek, couples want to disconnect with the stressors that everyday life presents and spend some quality, quiet time together.
Holidays:
Before marriage holidays mean time off from work. What changes after marriage are how hectic holidays become. You now have to budget your time across two entire families. It makes it easier if everyone can gather around a single table, but more often than not newlyweds travel back and forth between 2 different destinations, doubling the time spent in the car, the emotional effort spent, and associated expenses.
Downtime:
Many couples find themselves planning for alone time instead of looking forward to activities and other things to do after getting married. Once you’re married you’re rarely alone. It may feel difficult to tell your partner that you don’t want to spend every waking second with each other, but time with yourself provides vital self-reflection that’s needed for mental health.
Honesty:
Before you’re married it’s only natural to consistently put your best foot forward. You love the person you’re with and you want to give them the best that you have to offer. After marriage, there’s a mutual understanding that you each love every aspect of each other.
Health:
Married life is busy, which means far less time to exercise. Weight gain is normal. But sharing life demands that you plan larger meals. Planning in advance usually results in more careful consideration of what ingredients are used and less drive-through.
Security:
Before you’re married, you have to wonder what the future holds. Once you’re married, you’ve accomplished something. You feel like ‘you made it’, and it feels very comfortable. You know what life is going to be like tomorrow, next week, and next year.
Sleep:
There’s a weird phenomenon that occurs with married couples. Once you start sleeping next to each other you have to choose a side, and that’s your side for life! Aside from not being able to roll around at your own discretion anymore and potentially having to ensure some snoring, the sleeping situation is pretty good. You develop the habit of going to be around the same time every night.
Sex:
As mentioned earlier you’re never alone, which makes the opportunity to masturbate rarely. When the chance does arrive, you may feel guilty about not saving it for your spouse. However, sex with your spouse more than makes up for that little downside. You’ll be more intimate and discover yourself wanting to try more adventurous things in bed.
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Conclusion:
You’ll notice that there are pros and cons to each of the ways life changes after marriage. The trick is to understand what to expect, quickly find a good balance and understand that the negative changes are natural so that you don’t wind up resenting your spouse because of it. Do this and you can take the most advantage of all of the positive changes marriage has to offer.