Break Ups Are Hard ~ Use These 3 Essential Tips To Raise Your Vibration & Flourish

DivorceThere are more filings for divorce in January than in any other month.

Why is that?

Is it because people give ‘one last chance’ over the holidays only to find that it is not a workable relationship?

Is it the pressure cooker of stress that the holidays bring that sets things off in an irreversible course of action?

Is it that people are sick and tired of not living their truth and they refuse to go into another year with their relationship depleting them?

Whatever the trigger reason … whether you are the one who is calling the relationship over, or you are being told it is over, it takes big courage to end something that is in fact, already finished.

When my husband told me it was over I thought I was going to die from fear (how can I do this on my own?) I thought I would die a lonely woman (who would want to even date someone with 3 kids) and I thought I would die from shame (I obviously wasn’t ‘good enough’ and now everyone would know)


As I moved through my own recovery and started rebuilding my life pulling my self-esteem out of the gutter, I started to realize now with gentler eyes that it was hard and it was courageous of my husband to call it quits for us.

Someone had to tell the truth.

The truth was, we were complete.

Over the years my coaching clients have been both the ‘leaver’ and the ‘leavee’ and I  can tell you with certainty, being the ‘leaver’ is not easier.

The ‘leaver’ has to contend with the voices that say they weren’t good enough to be able to make it work. They have to suffer the tongue-lashing that they are the ones to ruin everything by ending the relationship. They are sickened with worry that the children will hate them and may not want to see them.

They don’t want to hurt or cause injury.

They just want to tell the truth.

The relationship is complete.

If you are in a position of re-calibrating and re-building after a break-up, I get it baby. I really do.

Here are 3 things things that will help:

  1. Make every commitment to increasing your vibration. Read books, take courses, hire a coach, meditate, go for a run (or whatever else floats your boat) and surround yourself with inspiring people. You can ONLY attract at your vibrational equivalence so if you want to experience a new and powerful you, be vigilant about doing this.  Make increasing your vibration your only point of focus.
  1. Ensure your language is neutral whenever you talk about the ending of your relationship. Going down the route of explaining your story is the fastest way to spiral down in your vibration. Say things like “Everybody did their best and sometimes, things are just complete.”
  1. Write. Even if you don’t write, write anyway. It’s the safest place for you to vomit all the crazy thoughts (and you gotta admit, some of the stuff you are thinking, is pure c-r-a-z-y!) When you write, you let those thoughts truly leave you so that the more sane you and the more wise you can start talking to you.

You have all the answers. Your spirit is whispering to you all the answers. Sometimes it helps to have a qualified person get you through the muck faster but in all cases, 100% of the time, once we quiet the crazy voices, the wise voice starts to speak.

And when that one speaks. Listen.

What will also be helpful is getting your free access to the interview that my gal Vicki Howie is doing with me talking about Turning Grief Into Joy on the Conscious Life News Awakened Speaker Series (CLASS). Sign up HERE.

With oodles of love and support,


Let me know if this has been helpful.


Farhana Dhalla 172x204

Farhana Dhalla is a #1 Best Selling Author, International Life Coach & Speaker, and Creator of the transformational Thank You for Leaving Me Journey. She is the visionary and leader of the enlightened divorce movement and  the ultimate ‘go to’ person for shifting perspective. As a ‘suddenly single mom’ to three small children, she intimately knows the overwhelming fear and pain – -and the liberation of stepping into the highest version of oneself. Check out her free webinar Divorce Is Not Your Fault and connect with her on Twitter and Facebook