How to Transform Toxic People in Your Life

“How to Transform Toxic People in Your Life” was originally published on Raise Your Vibration Today.

Do you have any toxic people in your life who are super negative, and who’ve been dragging you down?


In my time working with people on the Law of Attraction, I’ve come to find that many people are interested in cutting toxic people out of their lives.  Naturally, if you want to have a positive life, it makes sense that getting rid of the negative people would help.

With that being said, though, sometimes it’s hard to cut someone out of your life, isn’t it? Some of the most toxic people you know may be relatives, coworkers, neighbors, or members of your group of friends.  Many people are not easily eliminated!

Fortunately, though, you don’t have to cut people out of your life in order to become more positive.  There is another way!

Instead of eliminating toxic people, there are things you can do to transform the toxic people in your life to become much more likable and easy to get along with.

So if you have a family member, a coworker, a neighbor or a friend who’s been dragging you down, take heart.  You don’t have to eliminate him or her from your life.  Here’s a process I use with toxic people that has made a real difference in my life that I’d like to share with you.

I developed this process back when I was a high school psychology teacher.  As a teacher, I would usually have about 150-175 students a year, and inevitably there would be a few of these kids who rubbed me the wrong way or behaved in ways I didn’t like.  However, as a teacher, there isn’t much you can do to eliminate students, you just have to find a way to deal with them!


So when I learned about the Law of Attraction, one of the first things I did was use it to improve my relationships with these kinds of students.  Applying this process to my students helped me transform the behavior of these students, and as a result, often these kids I didn’t “like” at first ended up being some of my favorites by the end of the year!

Now, depending on how “toxic” this person is, the following steps may take a little time.  How much time? Well, I would say that I would only move on to a new step after I had practiced the current step enough to get fairly comfortable with it.

It’s important not to jump too far ahead too quickly, because if you are still feeling very negatively about this person, the later steps will feel disingenuous or fake, and then they won’t work.    

It’s important that you aren’t stretching yourself too far too fast, so let your feelings guide you. Take your time and be patient, because the end result is well worth the wait!

Step 1: Stop complaining about the toxic person (or arguing with them). 

As long as you are talking about this person negatively, you will continue to draw out his or her undesirable traits through the Law of Attraction.  We get what we are focused on, be it positive or negative.

So the first step is just to do what your mother told you as a child: “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Please note: this isn’t to be polite, and it isn’t to let the other person win!  Keeping quiet is about slowing down the negative momentum so that you can turn things around.

You will never bring out the best in someone you are chronically complaining about or arguing with, so please, for the sake of your own happiness, bite your tongue!

Step 2: Distract yourself from thoughts about the toxic person.

Stopping thoughts can be a little trickier than stopping words, so it’s best to work on this second step after you’ve been able to get through a little time without complaining or arguing.

When you are working on this step, distraction is your best friend.  So, if you find your thoughts wandering on to this person you don’t like right now, switch gears and think about something else.  Read a book, watch a television show, go for a run, get some errands done or play with your kids.  Do anything to keep your mind moving away from thoughts about this person.

With a little bit of time, you will find that your thoughts naturally seem to guide themselves away from this person who has been distressing you.

Please note, if this is someone you have to interact with on a consistent basis, it’s ok if the thoughts crop up when you are around this person.  Just make it your goal to get through the times you aren’t together without thinking too much about him or her.

Step 3: Meditate on your desire to be accepting of all people.

Once you have found yourself able to get through your alone time without routinely thinking about this other person, it’s time to set your intention for peace and harmony.

Sit down quietly for 5-10 minutes and do some slow, deliberate breathing.  Once you feel focused and peaceful, imagine breathing in acceptance of all people, and breathing out love to all people. This is a feeling meditation, so focus on the feeling of love and acceptance.

Now in this meditation, you won’t be focusing on accepting and loving this particular person, but rather you will be focused on being accepting and loving of all people in general. 

It might be too big of a stretch to feel loving and acceptant of this particular person at the moment, but a feeling of general love and acceptance should be fairly easy to generate.

A meditation like this will help you practice the vibration of accepting people as they are and loving them anyway.  It’s very important to get into a space of letting people be who they are if we want to bring out the best in toxic people.

Please note: Practice this meditation as many times as it feels good to do so.  This should be an enjoyable process…

To read the complete article, click here.

Do you believe you have the power to make your dreams come true?

If you have a dream you are ready to realize, contact me and let me know how I can help you!  I’m a Law of Attraction mentor and educator who works with people one-on-one and I also administer a LOA membership website with resources and support for conscious creators like you.  Feel free to also subscribe to my newsletter for more Law of Attraction articles and tips like this.

About the Author: Andrea Schulman is a former high school psychology teacher and mother of two who specializes in Law of Attraction education.  She’s passionate about yoga, technology and spiritual living.

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