Time to Let Go? Cutting the Cord to a Former Relationship
By Cyndi Dale
When the calendar flips, it’s time.
If you’re unattached romantically, it’s time to open to a new love. Unfortunately, that’s hard to do if you’re obsessing over a former flame.
There are lots of tricks for getting over yesterday’s companion. Think of how much time you’ve wasted pursuing activities like hating on the past, drinking indiscriminately, journaling your horror stories, signing up for like 12 dating sites (swipe right!), and your equivalent of gulping cookies or pumping iron.
How are those moving-on pursuits working for you?
Don’t be embarrassed. Holding on is a very human phenomenon, and for a reason you might not suspect. The reason is called an energy cord. Before I explain what I’m talking about, I’m going to share a story.
For fifteen years, my client Janie (names made up) had been conducting an on-again, off-again affair with a married man. During that time, Raoul had divorced a couple of times—and remarried twice too. For all she tried, she couldn’t refrain from showing up for a rendezvous every couple of months or so.
Finally, after conducting an energy healing session with me, she experienced freedom. She felt lighter than air and went on to never see Raoul again. (That’s a big deal!) The key was releasing the energy cord attaching she and her once beloved.
Now I’ll tell you what a cord is.
In my field of work, what you can’t see is often controlling everything else. This is certainly the case with an energy cord, which is a psychic bond that ties two people together, and always in an unhealthy way. In fact, when a relationship is dysfunctional—or at least one member of a couple can’t move on—cords are nearly always involved.
If you could perceive an energy cord through your inner eye, you’d see a garden hose, which is often attached heart to heart. There is energy being exchanged through that hose, and it’s not good.
The classic example is the all-too-common alcoholic-codependent alliance. Through the cord, the alcoholic is usually stealing life energy from their mate. In turn, the codependent is assuming the other’s challenging emotions.
That leaves the alcoholic avoiding the very issues they must face to deal with their addiction, and the codependent too tired and depressed to say “no”—to just about anything.
Typically, the cord is a replicate of an unhealthy one established in childhood. That’s what makes it so hard to see a bad relationship coming. We naturally connect through a cord with another if we grew up doing the same with a parent.
As is obvious, Jamie was corded to Raoul. She figured out that Raoul was very similar to her father, who’d also had affairs. We used a version of the exercise in this article to help her liberate herself not only from Raoul, but also the shadow of the past: her father.
Do you feel bound up? Try the following sequence and get emancipated.
- Breathe. Situate yourself in a quiet place and settle comfortably. Take a few deep breaths and relax.
- Focus. Think about your former relationship. Accept the positives and negatives of what you’ve gone through.
- Sense. Allow your inner self to uncover the energy cord that’s connecting you to your erstwhile companion. Where does it attach in your body? How large or small, thick or thin is it?
- Assess the exchange. Trust your intuitive guidance to reveal the energies being exchanged with your past partner through the cord. What energies are leaving you? Which are entering you? How are you being harmed through this trade of energy?
- Follow. Drift into your history. In fact, imagine yourself following the cord as if it’s a road. Is there someone from your earlier life that forged a similar cord with you? Who? What was the nature of that relationship? How did you feel when younger regarding that earlier transfer of energy?
- Release. Once you’ve realized the extent of the current or any previous cords, simply allow your inner self to dissolve it. That’s right. Request that healing energy emanates from your own wise self to disintegrate that cord. That healing stream will assist you and any other individuals involved with recovering.
- Celebrate. Breathe deeply. Congratulate yourself for gifting yourself this healing.
Know that your heart will automatically open to a more loving relationship when you’re fully ready. In the meantime, enjoy your own energy!
About the Author
Her newest book is Advanced Chakra Healing: Four Pathways to Energetic Wellness and Transformation.