For the past 3 years, I've had the pleasure of working out of my home. The INFJ, empathic introvert in me loved being able to interact with people from the comfort of my PJs, and often timezones apart. But after a while, I noticed boredom creeping in along with a pull for more actual human interaction.
Now, if you're anything like me then you've spent years of your life getting your self-worth from doing things for others, whether it felt good or not, whether our gut told us “no”, our mouth always said “yeah, sure, of course, I can help”, even when it drained you emotionally, mentally or financially.
In recent years, however (and I know my period of reclusion contributed greatly), I began to realize that it doesn't matter what you do or don't do for others, if you do something with a resentful heart, people feel it. So, nowadays I give only when I can, and I've learned to accept that's enough and that guilt is a waste of time.
Perhaps the biggest aspect of this lesson is knowing that if one gives from an empty cup, it leaves you feeling, well…empty. Yet when we begin to embrace that our own needs are just as valid and important as others, you also come to see that giving from a full cup ensures you are in the right place physically, emotionally, mentally and financially to give with an open heart and pure intent.
Why is it that so many of us absolutely must get our fill from others? Why do so many people feel completely ugly until someone compliments them? And oftentimes we don't even believe people when they actually do say something nice to us, whether about our appearance, ideas, or how you cook a steak.
I honestly feel that until one experiences the self-actualization that even if we were the only human alive on the planet, we would still have value and worth even though there's no one around to let us know, remind us or reflect our own beauty back to us.
But once it happens there's no going back. You innately recall that this familiar yet foreign undertone of not being enough is a huge damn lie and that the incessant and quite noticeable need to be needily noticed so many of us grew up with is a false facade.
Once we can realize we are not what other's think or believe, that we are not measured by the weight of outer opinions and judgments, we set ourselves free…literally. As the legend, Bob Marley said it best…”None but ourselves can free our minds.”
Once we noticed our need to be noticed, we let go of the power it's been given for so long. Once we face our ignored needs, we'll notice the opportunities we've blocked showing up as when we are looking through the lens of insecurities, the world seems rather unsafe. It's our own will to expand and grow and come into self-reflection that shows us who we really are.
So stop and notice, and then never forget. You are needed simply by being here. And that will always be enough…
Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com
Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.
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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.