This is Rocky, our ten-year old lab. He has new freedom in a home once occupied by my mother. He loved her and she loved him, from a distance that is. He is sitting on her bed just oozing love. I speak to my mom, “I know it’s ok with you now, a different perspective changes everything.” In a non-physical plane, she doesn’t have the concern of dog hair or dander. But, oh how I miss her.
A loss is nothing to ‘sneeze about’ – in other words, it’s an occasion for varying emotional responses, especially of someone close. I am in the midst of dealing with loss. My mother transitioned this month at age 79. She was the true matriarch. I also grieve the loss of her home, the “family gathering place’ and my home away from home. Seventy-nine is elderly by today’s standards, but she never was feeble or frail.
Her unspoken mantra was “live large or go home” and that is what she did.
My allies are the things tucked into my heart as well as kind words and support from family, friends, and neighbors. My mother was much more than a mom to me, she was a good friend. I often said we were like ‘yin and yang’. Many times we were miles apart on certain issues. Yet, we found ways to debate and not let it trouble our relationship (for very long anyway). I grew from these debates. She challenged me often and this allowed me to understand what I believe and why.
How do you deal with a great loss?
At the end of the day, a life, relationships, are paramount. Tears, happiness, and memories are to be embraced. Yes, cry. Yes, laugh. Yes, remember and celebrate the life of your loved one. Be at peace in no matter how they transitioned, their soul is eternal. Some say possibly their soul can be multi-locational when the physical body is gone. I embrace this and thank my Mom for being around as I cry and sometimes dance celebrating who she was and how she lived.
It is very easy to get ‘caught up’ in higher vibrational feelings and lose touch with day to day events. Losing a loved one is not extraordinary, it is part of the life cycle. Yet, how does one deal with loss and and not be callous or overly distraught? There is a happy medium and striking that balance is the call of higher consciousness.
Losing someone is not a test…
it is expansion. Events. Circumstances. Losses. Gains. These are more than what they seem on the surface. They are opportunities for clarity, growth, embracing the moment, seizing the day. Turn not away from the hurt or the joy, but fully embrace and allow it to permeate. Emotions are part of the human experience, let them flow. Look up, high and wide feeling the breeze and tickle of an expanded life. For these are: More than what is seen, More than what is heard, More than what is felt, More than what is tasted, More than what is smelled. Go beyond to ask and to listen to your higher self within. The great I am resides there and has the answers. Be still and listen.
Don’t get caught up in “how” you are supposed to be grieving
Are you crying too much, are you laughing too much? Why would you be dancing around the house when you are supposed to be grieving? Maybe you are listening to her favorite music and seeing her happy! None of this is wrong. What is right? The expression your feelings. Let them flow and don’t worry about someone’s opinion about what is or isn’t appropriate.
Things are always changing
Allow yourself opportunities that emerge. Be willing to change as you experience a big loss. New birth has labor pains. As old energy passes, the new emerges.
It is as it should be. In order to rise higher, look forward not backward. Be loving, forgiving, compassionate, and strong. This resilient energy is constantly moving, not randomly, not disorderly, not chaotically. This new energy is harmonic and some tones may be different than before, embrace those. Thus as you grieve the loss of your loved one: recognize their contribution, remember them and raise your hands in love and healing light. It is good and all is well.
Wise words from Osha
And the consciousness which is your reality has no time-space limitation. Your body grows from childhood to youth to old age to death – these changes are happening only to the body. These are the changes of the furniture in the house… painting the house, changing its architecture. But the man who lives in the house – the master of the house – is unaffected by all these things. Consciousness is the master.
Yesterday has passed and today is a day of newness and much hope
I embrace this and am filled with much hope. A few weeks ago, before Mom passed, I had a transmission come through me audibly in an unknown tongue. It flowed, was beautiful and as I look back on it, prepared me for this time. The inaudible words spoke above and beyond my intellect. I am so grateful for it.
Wise words from Kryon
Celebrate your life each day and visualize being satisfied. Don’t give Spirit an agenda that you think is what you need. Let the magnificence of your higher-self co-create something even better! You are dearly loved.
Advice from Forest Gump’s Mamma
The movie Forest Gump was a treat for me a couple of days after we celebrated Mom’s life and as I began the job of dismantling her home.
Grief comes in waves, I sob and miss the memories. I think of how Mom viewed life and desired to live it to the fullest. “You’ve gotta put the past behind you before you can move on.”
Mom’s pastor, Austin asked if any of the family would like to read her favorite verse during her celebration service. I timidly spoke that I would try. After sleeping on it, I was assured it was the right thing to do.
This is what I shared
Thank you, each of you for being here to honor Mom.
I would like to share moms favorite Bible verse.
Philippians 4:8. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.
We ARE liberated by the renewing of our mind.
The result is peace.
Not for yesterday, not for tomorrow, morning but for this moment.
Regrets, I’ve had a few. I blow them to the wind, they are but past.
Hope I have a lot, I hold it dear to my heart.
Peace I experience in the now as I continue to renew my mind.
Mom is in a state of perpetual peace, join me in that beautiful place that we all can experience in the now, by the renewing of our mind.
We are so much more than flesh and blood.
Think about this a minute. If peace doesn’t rise from within you, one day you will find yourself without it. Julia Rae Parsell
Thanks for traveling this path with me as I grieve. It has helped me clarify and I hope has encouraged you. I would love to hear from you. I am a person just like you, walking this 3D world with a lot of 5D experiences in the midst. I am grateful for my human body and the emotions I am able to express.
Julia Rae Parsell
Julia Parsell is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor with an emphasis on the intersection of science and the sacred. She writes from experiences and transformative understandings that have led her to an authentic and peaceful life. She goes by these names: wife, grandmother, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, and friend. As home educator of her three children, she also developed/ran cafes, and maintained various leadership roles within her community. Her greatest desire is to encourage others to live life fully. Her passions are family, writing, and trail blazing. She is happily married in Western North Carolina. Please visit her blog here.