Why Sex After 45 Can Be the Best of Your Life

Posted by on August 20, 2017 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 4 Comments

middle age couple in bed

By Linda Kelsey | The Daily Mail

The problem with writing positively about sex if you’re a mature woman (I’m 57) is that you will be seen as either an ageing exhibitionist or a liar.

I’m aware that the mere thought of older people doing it, let alone talking about it, is likely to put sensitive, younger and firmer readers off their morning cornflakes.

Related Article: 12 Natural Aphrodisiacs to Raise Libido and Increase Desire

But given that a new survey has declared that once you’re past 45 it’s all over bar the cocoa, I feel compelled to put my head above the parapet  –  or at least the duvet  –  and declare that not only can sex in later life be good, it can be better than ever.

According to this new survey, when it comes to sex age is a passion killer. By the time you’re 45 you loathe your body (or his) so much that you can only bear to do it in the dark, if at all, and that you’re quite likely to nod off before it’s over, exhaustion getting the better of you.

The average 45-year-old makes love once a week, which is not so bad an average, I would have thought, if you’ve been married for a couple of decades.

But then the respondents count themselves lucky if the whole experience lasts 22 minutes. Hmm. Might not turning off the stopwatch be one step towards revving things up between the covers?

This survey makes pretty depressing reading, but it strikes me that the men and women who answered it are misreading their own responses.

It’s not age that’s responsible for their lack-lustre love lives, it’s stale marriages. It’s not sagging or excess flesh that’s to blame, it’s boredom. It’s not too little energy, it’s too little imagination.

I may not be a sexual siren, and my flesh is certainly more southerly than it used to be, but since my marriage ended two-and-half years ago and I embarked on a new relationship nearly two years ago, I have re-discovered just how thrilling good sex can be.

More frequent, more fun, more naughty and less inhibited than it has ever been. And the menopause in this respect has been more of a blessing than a curse  –  no chance of getting pregnant, no monthly PMT.

Like most of those questioned in the survey, my sex life had also dwindled away in my 40s. And yet my husband  –  we had been together for more than 20 years  –  was as attractive, albeit older, than when I first met him.

And even if I was a good deal more wrinkled than at 30, I hadn’t let myself go physically. I was still a slim size 10.

What killed off sex were the same things that killed off our marriage  –  anger, resentment, lack of communication, loss of affection, of caring, of noticing one another and paying attention.

Related Article: Why We Need To Be More Open & Frank About Sex & Embrace it as a Sacred Gift

For women, seduction starts way before you get to the bedroom. It starts with conversation, with being told how pretty or sexy you look, of being appreciated.

As our relationship soured, I noticed that even when I made the biggest effort  –  with my hair, with my make-up, my clothing  –  and looked the best I possibly could, my husband would say nothing at all, and it hurt.


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  1. tdfam@telus.net' Timothy says:

    Yes, I agree, marriage ended 2 years ago for me, not in a relationship and the sex is the best I have ever had. You just can’t beat the love of a mature women.

  2. If making love is well done, once in a while??? Than my friend that shit is worth the wait.. Haha

  3. I am 52 I have sex everyday sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. Age doesn’t matter

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