The Secret To Keeping Your Relationship ALIVE!


Every relationship is a gift. 

It is a living thing.

It constantly evolves as you do.

It requires daily attention, intention, care and energy. Like a fire, it has to be continually nurtured.

Sometimes we can get so familiar with the other person that we think that we already know who they are and how they will respond. We also know who we are and how we will respond in response to them.

This complacency can be dangerous.

On one level this can be good and on another level, if we aren't aware, a relationship that was once alive can become stagnant.

What if you were willing to not know who the other person is?

Related Article: 5 Key Factors to a Lasting Relationship

Be willing to let go of who your partner was in the past and meet them fresh in each moment. 

Your partner is a soul, with life lessons to learn and karma to work through.

You don't own your partner. Just because you are in a committed relationship they don't belong to you. They belong to Life itself. And as much as you are together in a relationship, remember that they also have their own soul lessons and karma that they are here to grow and evolve through. Some of yours and theirs may intertwine, yet it's important to honor their unique soul's journey.

When you try and control them to fit into your idea of how you want them to be, you end up killing the relationship and flow of energy between you.

You have come together to serve each other's souls. This may sometimes feel uncomfortable to your personality. Since things that would serve your partners growth the most may push your buttons, and trigger your own fears. You can react by trying to control your partner. This will only backfire at some point.

If your partner suppresses who they authentically are in order to be with you, they cut a part of themselves off and won't be fully alive. They won't be able to bring all of themselves into relationship with you. And your relationship cannot be fully alive.

Real love allows freedom. The freedom to be oneself fully. And out of this freedom you can both choose. When you relate from true free choice not because of some condition you impose on one another, then your relationship can breathe and remain alive.

Love is freedom. Freedom is love.

It's vulnerable because it requires that you let go of controlling your partner and surrender your partner to Life. It affirms to the Universe that you trust love.

When you trust love and allow love to motivate your decisions, then your relationship will stay alive.

It's a vulnerable thing to live and relate this way. Relating based on the past is often safer.

Vulnerability is risky.

It's where the real aliveness is.

It requires that you open your heart, and you share things you have never shared. It requires that you reveal the real you to another. It requires that you hold nothing back and love fully.

The most beautiful gift you can give someone in a relationship is you. 

The real you.

Not the material stuff. But the authentic sharing of your heart and who you are.

When you don't share all of you, it is lonely in relationship. You don't give your partner the opportunity to get to know the real you. You might as well be alone.

When you don't share who you really are, you attract to you based on the mask you show. It's by being the real you and daring to share your authentic self that you create a relationship that is truly alive and fulfilling.

To be in a relationship with another human being is a privilege. And it's a miracle when you and another allow each other into your hearts.

It can be easier sometimes to be the one that is giving love. It can feel safer.

To let yourself receive love is vulnerable. Allowing yourself to receive requires that you open your heart and allow your partner more deeply into your heart. Whenever you allow yourself to be vulnerable in relationship, it stays real and alive.

Love can be risky. But to live a life protecting yourself and NOT loving is riskier!


Forget keeping score of what they did or didn't do in the past.

Forgive often.

Love like it's the last time you will see them.

Laugh a lot together to the point of tears.

Listen to each other deeply like they are the most important person in the world.

Focus on what you love about your partner and why you fell in love to begin with.

Related Article: 4 Things You Need to Know to Have a Strong, Healthy Relationship

Love with all your heart. It's then that you are most alive. Save not an ounce of love for tomorrow as this moment is your only guarantee.

It's when you love fully that you are truly free.

Love is real aliveness.




Kute BlacksonKute Blackson is an utterly unique visionary in the world of human potential. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s life work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. Acclaimed worldwide for his life changing, one of a kind, transformational experiences, he is considered one of the leading voices in the fields of transformation and spirituality. Kute is an inspiring modern day spiritual teacher and a bold voice for a new generation. He leads transformational journeys to Bali (get more info here).  He also helps women overcome any and all obstacles to love with his “The Man Breakthrough Experience” , the Women's Seminar.

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