How To Let Go of a Relationship That No Longer Works

When you love someone deeply, letting go is never easy.

It might be painful when the time comes to let go of someone you still love but know you need to. Breaking up may have nothing to do with love. You might still love them deeply but are simply no longer a fit.

Sometimes the love it takes to let someone go requires a bigger love than to stay. You might want to stay, but deep down you know that it's not right, or doesn't serve either of you fully. It takes a bigger love to let them go and trust love itself.

Sometimes we hold onto old relationships that are too small out of familiarity.

Sometimes we unconsciously hold onto old partners and aren't even aware that our heart is subtly closed to love even if only a little bit.

We may even pretend to be confused, but holding on and trying to make a relationship work that doesn’t, won't make it work.

It's important to remember that you attract a partner into your life at a particular point because you have certain lessons for each other.

Your souls have made an agreement to serve each other's growth and evolution long before you met physically.

Each person you attracted into your life at the stage you were in was to teach each other what you both most needed at that time.

Those lessons could last a day, a month or a lifetime.

The meeting with a person is a manifestation of your soul's longing to grow. The purpose of relationship is to evolve, become the most authentic expression of yourself and realize your true nature.

Your partner will tend to mirror to you those very patterns and places within you that block your full expression.

They are uniquely designed to push your buttons and show you where you most need to grow.

When you both have the understanding of the real purpose of relationship, you are able to relate more consciously. And use your relating as a yoga for your soul's expansion.

So how do you know when your relationship is over, and how do you let go?

There may come a point when something no longer feels aligned between you or you both stop growing. You are no longer growing individually, and also as a couple. You want different things, and grow in different directions.

The lessons that you have come together to teach each other are now complete. You and your partner are simply no longer a vibrational match.

This isn't a bad thing, it's a sign of growth. We often resist this completion, as we get attached to the relationship and the person.

If you and your partner continue to grow together in a similar direction and at a similar pace then there's no reason you couldn't continue in relationship together.

However, many times we stay in a relationship way longer than is healthy or right.

How many of you have done this and known it deep down?

Sometimes a particular relationship or person has a very specific thing to gift you. They may not have everything you need in relationship but they have a part of what you most need at that time in your life. As you embrace the lesson, you heal and become more open and ready to love more completely. They have come to help prepare you for your life partnership.

Although it is very important, the ultimate commitment isn't simply to each other as human beings in a relationship. As you both have your own unique soul journeys and will both change with time.

The ultimate commitment is to LOVE itself. Then your relationship is held in a bigger context. And no matter what happens, or if the form of your relationship changes, your commitment to love remains.

Even if you stop being in a relationship, the loving between you both doesn't need to stop.

When your commitment is to love, you become committed to finding the most authentic form and expression of relating between you that would allow the most love to be expressed. This may mean you are together a whole lifetime, or it may mean 10 years.

Committing to love is really committing fully to serving your partners soul growth. It is a courageous commitment beyond your ego's desire.

It not just about how long you stay together that determines success, although that can certainly be a part.

It is about the depth at which you loved fully, healed deeply, learned your soul lessons, and served each other's growth.

Remember this:

-In loving fully, there are no losers. When you love fully you always win, because you get the growth of opening your heart. No one can take that opening away from you.

– Trust love. If it's not meant to be with the person you are letting go of then there must be someone even better waiting for you. Love is abundant and not limited to one person, as amazing as they may be.

Sometimes we get so attached to a particular person being the one. You have visions of spending the rest of your life with them, you see children, you could never imagine being with anyone else. It's beautiful if that's your destiny together in this life.

And it's important to know that if you are truly meant to be together, then nothing will stop it. It just may not be the right time yet, and there may be experiences that you both need to go through to better prepare you to be in relationship with each other.

If your relationship is meant to be, nothing will stop it. If your relationship isn't meant to be, nothing will make it. Let go and see.

-Surrender. Real love requires surrender. And in letting go, you have the opportunity to open to bigger love beyond what you think should be.

Sometimes it makes no sense why it can't work out with someone you love so much. It might even sometimes feel like a cruel joke of the universe. But in reality, it's a profound opportunity to surrender fully, to let go of control, and allow the highest good to unfold in your life.

Trust that you will love again even if in the moment of letting go it seems far out. You will. You heart is resilient and powerful beyond what you can imagine. There are galaxies exploding in your veins each second. There is a miracle beating inside your heart. You are love and it's the nature of love to love.

-Be tender with yourself in the process of letting go. Be gentle and make the space for grief. Make the room for sadness. Knowing as you let yourself authentically feel your tears, it will wash away the old and open you to the new.

-Thank and bless your ex. Any moment you have the opportunity to share your heart in the most vulnerable way with another human being is a true privilege and blessing.

Think about it for a moment…. You have served each other. Even though it may not have worked out how you thought or wished it to, their soul was the one that chose to teach you the tough lessons. Just think about the depth of love that their soul must have had for you to teach you those lessons. Bless them. Thank them. Love them.

Letting go of a person isn't just about letting go an external person. But it's also about letting go of what they might represent within yourself, that may no longer reflect who you have become today. Ultimately you are letting go of that part of yourself.

And opening to what is more right for you in love.

Sometimes just as you are about to let go, the person you were in relationship with shows up in your life. I have found that often it's a test.  It gives you the opportunity to truly heal any incompletions, choose to graduate the old relationship lessons and move on, rather than repeating the same karmic cycle again.

So beware if this happens.

Some people go back into relationship with the ex. And if you choose to go back to an old relationship, really make sure your ex partner has evolved and done the inner work necessary to show up fully in reality, in relationship with you today.

So what if breaking up with your romantic partner was done with as much love and respect as falling in love? Ultimately it's not like the love goes away, simply the form of the love needed a different expression.

The love is always there.

Love is what you are.

When you let go, you allow the space for a bigger love to show up.

Trust love.



Kute BlacksonKute Blackson is an utterly unique visionary in the world of human potential. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s life work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. Acclaimed worldwide for his life changing, one of a kind, transformational experiences, he is considered one of the leading voices in the fields of transformation and spirituality. Kute is an inspiring modern day spiritual teacher and a bold voice for a new generation. He leads transformational journeys to Bali (get more info here).  He also helps women overcome any and all obstacles to love with his “The Man Breakthrough Experience” , the Women's Seminar.

Tags: , , , , , , ,


If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it.

Subscribe via RSS Feed Connect on YouTube

3 Reader Comments

Trackback URL Comments RSS Feed

  1.' Kimberly Sickler says:

    Have you ever been in love with some one like you cant part, even if you want to, fight or even when you are apart, like your heart belong to that someone that you cant live without even if he treats you, well i have been there. i was dating a man i love so much beyond words can explain, i did everything for him but he never appreciated any thing i did, he kept breaking my heart but each time i try to leave i just kept coming back after he apologized. i couldn’t take this any more that i have to find help to remedy the situation. i meant a spell caster who promised to make every thing alright after she cast the spell, i will have my boyfriend love me like never before in three days time, i want you to know that am not a fan or believer of magic or the super natural, but i had to make an exception at this point. I did as the spell caster instructed me and after 3 days after the spell had been completed, i got a call from my boyfriend apologizing to me for how he had treated me and want me not to leave him for another man.
    My tears have finally stropped because i had an encounter with a kind hearted helper who restore my happiness, that i cant stop saying this.
    If you need her help contact her on ( she is ready and willing to help you in any areas in Relationships etc.

  2.' HL R Jamelo says:

    No spell in the world could ever dictate what God has planned for you. It’s not about The spell, it’s about your faith. But you put your faith in the wrong person. Her spell might just last for months or years but God’s promised to those who have faith in Him will never ever end. People don’t be deceive by what the world can offer you. Remember, satan deceived Eve by a delicious fruit with a deceitful promised that’s why she ate it and it caused us to be sinners. So, my point is, deceit can be any form of good things and promises but let’s all be wise and careful. Always ask God for what His will for us through wisdom. because grabbing and believing what we think are good things might be a pithole of the evil for us. Lets just trust and put our confidence in the Lord…

  3.' Paula Wainman says:

    Bev Priestley x

New Title

NOTE: Email is optional. Do NOT enter it if you do NOT want it displayed.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

FAIR USE NOTICE. Many of the articles on this site contain copyrighted material whose use has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making this material available in an effort to advance the understanding of environmental issues, human rights, economic and political democracy, and issues of social justice. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of the copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of the US Copyright Law which contains a list of the various purposes for which the reproduction of a particular work may be considered fair, such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. If you wish to use such copyrighted material for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use' must obtain permission from the copyright owner. And, if you are a copyright owner who wishes to have your content removed, let us know via the "Contact Us" link at the top of the site, and we will promptly remove it.

The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Conscious Life News assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms.

Paid advertising on Conscious Life News may not represent the views and opinions of this website and its contributors. No endorsement of products and services advertised is either expressed or implied.
Send this to a friend