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Let’s Talk About Mom AND Dad

Nick Ortner  |  The Tapping Solution

In “The Tapping Solution” book, I stressed the importance of dealing with childhood traumas to help the mind, body and spirit heal.  These formative experiences are often still affecting our daily lives, and when we process them/heal them/let them go, everything can change.  Today, I want to explore this topic, but with a specific focus on the relationship between you and your parents.

Whether your parents are still with us or not, this exercise will still work.  Just because they've passed doesn't mean that relationship and its surrounding energy isn't affecting you today.

[Editor's Note: if you're new to meridian tapping/EFT,  find some great intro videos here!]

So here's what we're going to do…

Go ahead and take a deep breath, and get really centered.  I'm going to ask you to close your eyes in a minute, but obviously you need to read what to do first.  🙂

So you're going to close your eyes, get grounded and centered, and imagine your mother or father (pick one to start with), walking into the room where you are right now.

I want you to sense how you feel when they walk in.  Do you tense up? Are you sad? Are you angry? What memories, ideas and images come to mind when they're in your presence?  Just sit with it for a few minutes, and as things come up, feel free to write them down so you can tap on them later.

What you're searching for here is your current emotional response to them, and how it brings up old memories.  For example, you might say, “When my Dad walks into the room, I instantly get angry and start thinking about how he was never around when we were growing up.”  Or, “I'm so mad at him for leaving my mother,” or whatever else comes to you.

Go for that initial gut reaction, pick that as your “target”, identify where you feel it in your body and how strong it is (0-10) and then let's do some tapping on it.

As always, this is VERY general language because I don't know what's going on for you.

EFTTappingPointsAmend as you see fit, use your own language, or do the tapping by yourself, without the script.

Karate Chop: Even though I have “this feeling” towards my ______,  I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Karate Chop: Even though I have “this feeling” towards my ______,  I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Karate Chop: Even though I have “this feeling” towards my ______,  I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Eyebrow:  This feeling…

Side of the Eye:  This memory…

Under the Eye: When I see my _______…

Under the Nose: I feel _____ in my body…

Under the Mouth: And it's so hard to let it go…

Collarbone: I've been holding on to this for so long…

Under the Arm: And I don't want to let it go…

Top of the Head: This feeling….

Repeat several times, checking in on the intensity each time, getting clear on the feeling in your body, and working through the memories as they come up.

Do this process several times, with each parent, until you find a sense of peace when they're in your “presence”.

Now, I understand this might not happen after 15 minutes of tapping.  If you had an abusive childhood, it might take more work to forgive, let go of the past and heal, but each time you do this is a step in the right direction.

Go back to this exercise a couple of times a day over the next couple of days and you'll be surprised with what comes up AND how much better you feel after you've done the tapping.  These relationships are primary to our existence, and healing them can affect so many different parts of our lives.

Pay attention, as you heal these relationships, how other parts of your life change.  Are you more patient or loving with your partner? Do you finally attract the person you've been dreaming of, not the one who was put in front of you to try to heal this old stuff? 🙂  Do your financial patterns change? Does your body heal?

A lot can happen! But you have to do the work, do the exercise several times, and do the tapping.

I hope this has been helpful.  Please share with me your results with this exercise or any questions you may have – just comment on the blog.

There may be no more powerful step in our journey of personal development and growth than to forgive our parents.  Forgive them for what they did and what they didn't do.  Let go. Understand. Have compassion.  Know that they were doing the best they could with the resources they had.  Heal these wounds, small and large, and everything can change for you.  Start today.

NickOrtnerNicolas Ortner – NY Times Best-Selling author of “The Tapping Solution” and Executive Producer of the documentary film by the same name. “The Tapping Solution” is a ground-breaking book and film exploring EFT, a combination of Ancient Chinese Acupressure and Modern Psychology that provides startling results. View the trailer at

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