Knowing These 3 Love Strategies Will Improve Your Love Life

Posted by on March 6, 2017 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 2 Comments

couple in love paints

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How do you know someone loves you? No really, how do you know? Can you remember a time when you felt totally loved? When was the moment you knew for sure? What did that person do to convince you?

I’m guessing you came up with an answer along the lines of (a) it was the way they looked at me (b) it was what they said and how they said it or (b) it was their kiss, touch or some physical contact.

When we are in a relationship there are three things that tell us if someone is deeply in love with us.  If your attempts to show love to your partner aren’t working so well, you need to figure out which of these three things your partner prefers – you need to work out their love strategy.

Related Article: Create a Sexual Bucket List to Spice Up Your Love Life

Visual Love Strategy

Visual – taken places, bought things, looked at with that special look

People who enjoy being taken places, bought things and looked at with that special look in order to know they are totally loved are have a visual love strategy. They enjoy gifts (flowers, chocolate, perfume, lingerie etc) and being taken on holiday, for a day out, and going out for dinner in a beautiful restaurant. They love it when their partner looks at them that certain way.

Auditory Love Strategy

Auditory – special tone of voice or special words

Those people who have an auditory love strategy are interested in the tone of voice and the special words their partners say to them. Not only do they need to hear ‘I love you’ daily, but they love that tone of voice that makes them weak at the knees. Pet names, in-jokes and private languages make them feel loved and adored.

Kinesthetic Love Strategy

Kinesthetic – touched in a certain way or a certain place

People who have a kinesthetic love strategy are all about touch. It is the contact of skin on skin, holding hands, an arm around them, a hug while they are peeling the potatoes as well as full-blown kissing and shagging.

Finding out which one of these strategies applies to your partner is the hard part. If you ask the question, everyone will say ALL THREE THINGS are important. And they are.

Related Article: 10 Sexy Date Ideas to Rev Up Your Relationship

So try it on yourself first. What is your love strategy?

If you had to give up seeing, hearing or touching, which one would it be. I know it is hard, but you have to let one go [or I’ll shoot the kitten]. Eliminate one of the things you would miss but you could live without if you were forced to and still know your partner loved you.

For me, if you forced me to lose one of the three, it would be the visual strategy.

Now it gets really tough. No-one voluntarily drops one of the remaining two. So you have to be brutal with yourself. Instead of trying to decide between the two, put them in order of importance.

If you couldn’t hear your partner’s voice for three months (you were deaf or she had laryngitis) but she could still touch you, would that be bearable? If you couldn’t feel the touch of your partner for three months (he was working away) but could speak to him on the phone every night, would that be bearable?


About the Author

1Katie Paul has survived adoption, bulimia and the suicide of her husband, more or less unscathed. She attributes her resilience to her guardian angels Bob, Fred and Hugo.
She used to be a stage manager but gave it all up to write stories about loss, love, lust and longing. Her characters get a bit raunchy at time because that’s the way life should be – full of big juicy moments. She is sure Bob, Fred and Hugo agree. Check her out website here and join her on Facebook.

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2 Reader Comments

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  1.' Thea Catague says:

    Lizette Julian Catague

  2.' Florian Tichie says:

    Râdeţi voi,râdeţi,aş vre să vă văd (ca şi pe români şi alţii) peste vreo 50 de ani.

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