Personal Development Programs Aren’t Working for You? Here’s Why!


woman walks in desert

Aimee Serafini is the host of Love Yourself, Love Your Life. She will be interviewing CLN Editor, Vicki Howie Monday, January 4, 2016. Vicki's talk title is: Discover Your Chakra Type and Unveil Your Personal Path to Prosperity. You can register for free here.

You are reading this because you know your life can be even better, that there is more out there for you, and it’s just a matter of finding or discovering what that is, and releasing any blocks holding you back.

And so you try different techniques and programs from various self-growth experts. But, then most of them don’t seem to work as advertised.

Believe me, I’ve been there too. I am as much a self-growth junkie as anyone!

There are lots of logical things you can blame for your lack of success. Sometimes you are philosophical (it just wasn’t for me), sometimes you blame yourself (I must have done it wrong), sometimes you blame the person who sold you the program (I was duped!), and sometimes you’re fatalistic (nothing works for me).

Listen up. There’s a reason why so many self-growth programs fail to meet your expectations. I read something recently that helped me put my “failures” (and yours) into perspective. It’s from a book by Mike Dooley called The Top Ten Things Dead People Want to Tell You.

Dooley says our self-growth journey is like setting out on a trip to a new destination using a GPS in our car. We drive and make the recommended turns, continually moving towards our target. And 5 miles before we arrive at our destination, we give up due to our impatience. And, then we make excuses for giving up. We say things like:

· “That didn’t work for me.”
· “It works for everyone but me.”
· “I must have done something wrong.”
· “The program doesn’t work.”

We say these when all we needed to do was to just keep following the GPS for a little while longer to get where we wanted to be! But we give up and start driving a different road, hoping the new one will work. After driving for three hours, we again give up. This time we were only 3 miles from our destination. And we do that over and over again.

In cases like this, it seems like something is not working for you, because you never ended up at your destination. But, you just didn’t realize that all you needed to do was to perservere just a short while longer.

My take away from Dooley’s car trip analogy was that everything I do in the direction of where I want to go is useful, and prepares me for the next step I’m about to take. It might not be the final turn where I finally see the flashing lights saying “YOU MADE IT!” But the latest program or technique or book might be the turn just before that. Or maybe I’m still even in the middle of the drive and still have some distance to travel, who knows?

In the meantime, as I just keep driving and acting toward what I want, I just need to trust I’m making the right decisions and when I arrive, it will all make perfect sense.

Most importantly, I need to enjoy the ride: the scenery, the people I meet, and the interesting things I learn along the way.

Most likely, a few weeks or months after I finally “arrive” at my destination, I’ll probably want to go somewhere else anyway! That is, I’ll want to take things to the next level.
So, remember that even if the latest program doesn’t get you “there,” have faith you ARE making the right decisions and it is taking you further on your path. Stick with it and it will all add up.

Aimee Serafini is the host of Love Yourself, Love Your Life, the author of Loving All of Me: Even the Parts I Thought I Had to Hate, a certified Life Coach, and an advocate for women everywhere. She is a devoted traveler (who has backpacked through 50 countries and logged more than 5 years on the road) and a lover of personal growth. An NLP and EFT/Tapping Practitioner, Amy brings heart-felt intention and a whole lot of knowledge to the table as the host of her self-love summit. You can register for it free here.

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