Here’s Why You NEED to Repel Certain People (and Should Celebrate the Fall Out)

Written by on May 24, 2016 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 1 Comment

Woman Repelling

By Jordan Gray | Jordan Gray Consulting

At the time of my writing these words, I’ve been a full time sex and relationship coach for about seven years. And in that time I’ve heard from a lot of people around the world who chronically get this one thing wrong about life…

Whether they’re going on first date, setting up an online dating profile, or cultivating their social media presence, they think that they need to present the most widely acceptable version of themselves for others to be attracted to.

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Filter this, Photoshop that, exaggerate here, omit there…

In reality, the more you can lean into your unique quirks, the better.

You’re supposed to deeply embrace who you are, and yes, this will (and should) repel a certain percentage of people away from you.


The career woman who feels like she should tone down her love for her work on a first date because she thinks that “guys don’t really like that in a woman.”

The guy who hides the fact that he loves to paint pictures of sunsets because he fears that women will think he’s too artsy or sensitive.

The 35-year-old who doesn’t admit that they want to have children until the twelfth date because they don’t want to freak their new partner out.

New flash: you need to become okay with repelling some people.

Even better… there are people out there who like everything.

There are people who like skinnier people and heavier people. There are people who like sensitive people and stoic people. There are people who like artists, engineers, dominatrixes, lawyers, daycare workers, and everything in between. Whatever you’re offering, someone out there is into it.

If you tip-toe through your entire life trying to not throw anyone else off their game, you will be miserable.

Someone will always disapprove of you. Always.

You can either be fantastically authentic and have some other people hate you, or you can water down your existence and offend no one… but, as a result, resent yourself for not living in accordance with your heart.

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So either some other people hate you, or you hate yourself for prioritizing their opinions of you over your opinion of yourself. Your choice.


If you’re looking for an intimate partner, you’re aiming to meet and attract someone who aligns deeply with you. You aren’t trying to attract ‘women’ or ‘men’… you’re trying to attract a person. You only need to appeal to a ridiculously small percentage of the market segment known as men/women/whatever you’re into.


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  1.' Nissongo Ami says:

    Conscious Life News tks ad of Conscious Life News. #wwwlovett1047

    too much desperation in this world and that drives people to be less than honest with themselves and others Tks ad: There is no other YOU in the YOU-niverse. Here’s a little reminder to embrace your uniqueness and News, Articles, and Information for Conscious Living on Planet Earth

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