How To Use Painful Times From Your Past to Create a Happier Future


We all have times from our past that we'd rather forget. Whether they're embarrassing, painful or things we done or said we now regret, I can say with confidence that all of us have things in our past that affect us deeply in our hearts and cause us to carry around some often painful memories each and every day, whether we are consciously aware of it or not.

These memories show up in our lives manifested in the way we react to compliments or insults, as well as the opinions, judgments, flattery or grievances of others. Basically in how we've learned to respond to the world at large. And unless we “learn to learn” from our past experiences, they will continue to show up over and over in our lives as the same lesson, just through different experiences.

Some of us stuff painful memories down so deeply that they are repressed. We have buried them so deep that we honestly no longer remember the events have even occurred. This is a self-preservation mechanism to protect oneself from harm. The brain will literally block out such traumatic events to prevent us from literally shutting down and mentally checking out. It is often only through intense psycho-therapy and techniques like hypnosis do we often discover hidden memories from childhood of assault, abuse, etc. that we've since repressed in order to protect ourselves.

What is so terribly sad about this is that even if we have repressed such memories that deeply, they are still able to affect us in our waking lives on some level. We may will still encounter issues with fear around intimacy, trust, etc. and absolutely no idea why. This, in fact, may be the actual reason why we seek out treatments such as therapy or hypnosis in the first place; to discover why a specific issue keeps coming up in our lives that no matter what we try, just doesn't seem to get resolved. Often the answer lies buried deep within our past…

So, how can we use our past to help create a happier and healthier future for ourselves? Well, we must first must be willing to be brave enough to look at these things that are scary and cause us fear. I say this not with a lack of empathy, but with full support and encouragement that you can and will transmute anything you fear the moment you choose to face it; that is how you take away its power over you!

Next, anything from our past that causes us to feel pissed off, angry or bad or embarrassed about ourselves, we must feel through and release those tied up emotions. They are literally weighing you down and we must let them go. This means forgiving those who have hurt you in the past, not because they necessarily even deserve to be forgiven, this isn't about them, but rather this is all about you and healing old wounds that are affecting your present life and ultimately your future. You deserve peace in your mind and heart and this is why we forgive others; it really has nothing to do with them at all.

Lastly, we need to forgive ourselves for anything we may have done that we are still carrying guilt around for. Now, this kind of forgiveness has everything to do with us and self-love. We've all heard how we can he our hardest critics and this is so true for so many of us. Most of us would be willing to hop in front of a train for our loved ones, but we're not willing to do what it takes to help ourselves heal.

When we can put a plan into place and consciously focus on these three pillars of healing the past, we can cultivate the right conditions to allow for a peaceful present because our mind is no longer clouded with old, out-dated perceptions of the world around us that come from past pains and hurts. We are allowed to see the world (and ourselves) with fresh and loving eyes and this is ultimately what helps us to build a happy and healthy future.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! 🙂

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

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  1. Take good Points from Ur Past Life.Experience makes U a Perfect Human Being.

  2. Yong Cp Yong Cp says:

    Understand OR NOT ‘ it’s U ‘n NO ONE ELSE ‘beside JUST ‘u ? No one RESPONSIBLE ‘it’s u again? Understand OR NOT? No’ 3 period of TIME? It’s U’ the TROUBLE ‘author ‘ creator ‘ writer ‘ all wrong doings WITHOUT AN EXIT DOOR? Bcoz ‘ u r IN WILDERNESSES ‘ so build A DOOR ‘ n next GET OUT ‘after whatsoever U EXTINGUISHED ‘ these PERIODS? U get out OR NOT? That’s ur business ? It’s THE REPETITION ‘ tiLL ITSELF ‘ended BY KNOWING ‘ur cleansings BY UR WILL POWER ‘ to extinguish. Tq. Not understand ‘ try hard?

  3. Rather than trying to forget, stare them in the face, begin/try to feel grateful for the experiences that bother you still, this way you will face new experiences with more appreciation for the past lessons learnt. Acceptance is key, denile is torture.

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