Guys: Why It’s Wise To Worship a Woman & How To Do It

Posted by on August 2, 2018 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 21 Comments

woman piggyback on man's backBy Arjuna Ardagh | HuffingtonPost.com

A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed:


“I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.”

When I woke up the next morning, there were the usual offerings of people who liked the post as well as comments. One man had the vulnerability and courage to post this on facebook:

“Thank you Arjuna for this sharing, I feel like [I’m] in front of a choice which is between feeling envious of what you have and I don’t, or instead to decide that ‘I want that too,’ and, as you show, it is possible…”

I was touched.

Related Article: A Woman Has No Price Tag: A Love Letter To All Women

Over the next days, I got several more messages like this from men: vulnerable men, honest men, rare and courageous men. They came in as private messages on Facebook or through our website, and they all said basically the same thing:


“I read your Facebook post. I want what you have. Show me how to get it.”

So, friends, here it is. The short guide on how to worship a woman, and why it’s the wisest thing that a man can do. First of all, lets pop a few very understandable doubts that you might have. I’m familiar with all of them.

1. “I’m wounded and damaged in my relationships to the feminine.”
So am I, dear brother, so am I. My parents divorced in a messy way when I was four. I grew up alone with my mother. She did her very best to provide for me, but she was unhappy and insecure. By the time I started to have relationships with women myself in my early teens, I discovered that I had a mountain of resentments, fears, and separation in my relation to the feminine. The conscious practice of worship can become a part of healing the wounds.

2. “Arjuna, you’re lucky. You’ve got an incredible partner. I’m together with a woman who’s not like Chameli.”

I really don’t have the ultimate answer to that doubt or question. It certainly could seem to be the case that I’ve been lucky in finding a great woman, but here’s how it happened for me. I’ve had a lot of less lucky connections in my life. I’ve experienced my share of the manipulative side of the feminine: the victim, the rageful, the vengeful. And I have seen the ugly side of the masculine psyche in myself. A few weeks prior to meeting Chameli, my wife, something deep and profound shifted in me, which I believe can shift for anyone in the same way.

3. “I don’t have a partner at all, and I sometimes doubt if I’ll ever meet anybody.”
Being with a partner where worship is not flowing, or not being with a partner at all, are basically two aspects of the same situation: you’ve had an intuition or a glimpse of the possibilities of a deeper love, and you want more of it. The solutions are the same.

4. “I feel my heart is closed down. I live in my head a lot, and I wouldn’t even know what worship was if it broke into my house at 2 o’clock in the morning and held me at gunpoint.”
That’s where the whole thing starts for all of us, when we realize that we don’t yet know how to love. And that’s that the big question that you have to consider: “Is that okay with me?” Never mind how much money you make, or how many friends you have on Facebook, no matter how nice a house you live in, or no matter how big a car you drive, no matter how impressive your partner’s bust size, or how much you meditate and become spiritual… have you loved for real, in a total and undefended way? If not, and here’s where you have to be honest with yourself, is that OK with you? Is it OK to die one day without the heart’s gift having been fully given?

Eight or nine years ago, I came to that question in myself, exactly that, and I discovered that the answer was, if I was was raw and vulnerable and uncomplicated, that it was actually not OK. If I died one day without having fully loved, it would not have truly been a life well lived.

Many many years ago, I went to Bali for a vacation, on my own. I met up with some other young travelers there and we hired a Jeep to take us on a tour of the island. We drove up right to the highest point of the island, where Tourists don’t usually go. Our guide took us to one of the most sacred temples. It was surrounded by a big brick wall with an ornate entrance. After removing our shoes and wrapping scarves around our heads, we stepped together through this entrance. Inside, there was a short courtyard and then another brick wall with another entrance. After more preparations of lighting incense and giving offerings, we stepped through the second entrance. We were allowed to go through the opening in one more wall, but that was it. All together there were ten walls around the deity in the middle. Hindus could go beyond the fourth wall. Devotees of that particular deity could go beyond the fifth wall, and so it went on. The only people allowed to approach the deity directly were those who had given their lives completely and totally to its worship. Everyone else could come a little closer, a little closer, to the innermost beauty, but not all the way to the center.

I’m not a big believer of the worship of statues, but there’s a beautiful symbolism to what I saw there, because a woman’s heart is just like that. At the essence of every woman’s heart is the divine feminine. It contains everything that has ever been beautiful, or lovely, or inspiring, in any woman, anywhere, at any time. The very essence of every woman’s heart is the peak of wisdom, the peak of inspiration, the peak of sexual desirability, the peak of soothing, healing love. The peak of everything. But it’s protected, for good reason, by a series of concentric walls. To move inwardly from one wall to the next requires that you intensify your capacity to devotion, and as you do so, you are rewarded with Grace. This is not something you can negotiate verbally with a woman. She doesn’t even know consciously how to open those gates herself. They are opened magically and invisibly by the keys of worship.

Related Article: 10 Things Super Happy Couples Talk About

If you stand on the outside of the outermost wall, all you have available to you, like many other unfortunate men, is pornography. For $1.99 a minute, you can see her breasts, maybe her vagina, and you can stimulate yourself in a sad longing for deeper love.

Step through another gate, and she will show you her outer gift-wrapping. She’ll look at you with a certain twinkle in her eye. She’ll answer your questions coyly. She’ll give you just the faintest hint that there is more available.

Step through another gate with your commitment, with your attention, with the small seedlings of devotion, and she’ll open her heart to you more. She’ll share with you her insecurities, the way that she’s been hurt, her deepest longings. Some men will back away at this point. They realize that the price they must pay to go deeper is more than they are willing to give. They start to feel a responsibility. But for those few who step though another gate, they come to discover her loyalty, her willingness to stick with you no matter what, her willingness to raise your children, stick up for you in conversation, and, if you are lucky, even pick up your dirty socks now and then. And so it goes on. You’ve got the gist by now.

Somewhere around the second wall from the center, she casts the veils of her personality aside, and shows you that she is both a human being and also a portal into something much greater than that. She shows you a wrath that is not hers, but all women’s. She shows you a patience that is also universal. She shows you her wisdom. At this point you start to experience the archetypes of women, who have been portrayed as goddesses and mythological figures in every tradition.

CONTINUE READING THIS ARTICLE…

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21 Reader Comments

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  1. 1402952466610993@facebook.com' Where there is love there is life says:

    Don’t worry. God is never blind to your tears, never deaf to your prayers and never silent to your pain. He sees. He hears and He will deliver you. – Unknown

  2. 1045047258848436@facebook.com' Aaron Van Meter says:

    i’ll worship a woman when a woman worships me.

  3. 10204586867062943@facebook.com' Stephen Jeske says:

    I’ll worship the right one if she comes along and it’s got to be mutual

  4. 10204586867062943@facebook.com' Stephen Jeske says:

    Until then the dog gets the worshipping, more loyal

  5. 452732534915105@facebook.com' Trent Ciolino says:

    Women are people too just like men

  6. 10153629844039310@facebook.com' Grace Piche says:

    Mary Liu

  7. 1481713895456377@facebook.com' Nicolae Tanase says:

    Men see the woman with their conditioned eyes. Yet her beauty is to be seen only with the purity of one’s heart.

    The beauty of a woman resides deeply in her heart. And the heart is timeless. Therefore a woman’s beauty is timeless. The heart radiates through her eyes and gait, and through her hair and her lips, through every single molecule and cell. With time, a woman radiates pure grace.

  8. 389485314578895@facebook.com' Den Sam Kelly says:

    How ridiculous to suggest , always admire respect and love !! Worship breeds Narcissism !!! Mutual respect not worship !!!

  9. 10153258336159217@facebook.com' Kasper Bo Petersen says:

    What a load of crap ..! This article give nothing concrete at all!

  10. 875318312545918@facebook.com' Shaukat Mahmood says:

    After GOD,worship a woman. Please you will enjoy.

  11. 10206707559961934@facebook.com' Teresa Marie Jones Embree says:

    What it gives is basically a way to understand that if you find a woman whom you can love- show her that she is the only one you truly see eyes wide open.
    It reads as a first part of a series guys… Read it again. And this time around, really read it.

  12. 424524297758056@facebook.com' Jesse Patrick ONeil says:

    Cute

  13. 413333682202545@facebook.com' Mehmed Sejdinovic says:

    Best and Fastest way to hacking fb accounts and twitter and instagram using >> http://WWW.hackingpanel .COM (100% Safe and Trusted)use it share it

  14. 1624302864502914@facebook.com' Jesika Mrazek-Quintero says:

    We should be very careful when we use the word ” worship” because when it comes to that; as far as my beliefs go. The only one I am supposed to worship is the one who gave his life so that we may have one God.. I love my husband with all that I am. But I never idolize him over God!!

  15. 476647869171535@facebook.com' Mickey GoFo says:

    Ryan Valentine worship me.

  16. yvettespowers@gmail.com' Divine Feminine says:

    Guys, most of you have fallen at the first hurdle. It’s all in the feeling, not in the head. Most women want to be loved this way, and want to feel open to give their love and devotion in return. Arjuna is offering you the key to (finally) have a mature relationship. Turn it and enter the door.

    • rebisfree@yahoo.com' Ruth says:

      I am 71 years old. If the real men in the world will take a deep slow breath, focus and listen to what is being said here, they will learn a lot. They will be happier men in their marriage. Few men in my life (and there has been a number) don’t learn and are unaware that there is more to being with a woman than getting all the sex you want, having her give you and take care of your children and other daily needs. Women are looking for something in return (most are unaware what that is including me) and the worship this article is talking about is it. In my next life maybe the evolution of the male species will have developed to that level. Let’s hope and pray.

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