Want To Empower Yourself? Choose Enlightened Endings


Enlightened endings

I want to preface something here…I am going to make it sound easy.

You will be the one to decide if it is easy or not.

First things first:

Victimhood is passé. Freedom is the new black.

You can’t be the victim and free at the same time. You choose.

If you’ve recently lost a friendship…a job…a relationship – remember: it ended because it was over. Period. No story required. It was complete.

Go back to the first fleeting feeling that you had when you knew it was over. The tiny feeling that was probably overlooked. I will bet you exhaled in relief. Am I right?

But chances are, you didn’t listen to that first feeling. And instead you went to something more familiar: fear.

Here is the thing. Fear exists because our dreams aren’t big enough. We need to envision bigger, juicier dreams. And when we do, that fluttery feeling in the pit of our stomach that we interpret as fear, we will now begin to interpret it as excitement.  It’s the same feeling. You choose its meaning.

You may find that as your world crumbles and you begin re-inventing in a rapid way, your circle of friends may not be able to connect with you anymore. Bless them. Don’t blame them. It is time for you to engage a new circle.

Choose wisely. Whoever you engage with, you will entrain with. The five people you spend the most time with determine the direction of your life. Pick high.

Ask yourself if you can really express yourself freely with them. Can you be truthful about your pain, your lies and your fears?  Are you free to express your brilliance, your creativity and your freaking genius ideas and goals?

Can you have a vulnerable breakdown and their eyes don’t change one bit – because they still see you as amazing? Painful moments will happen. But remember, pain is just a breadcrumb trail to your magnificence.

Now…want to know the fastest route to freedom?

Embrace your responsibility 100%. Where did you contribute to the downfall of your relationship, job or friendship?

Oohhh… I felt that. You went “ugh!”

Some of you might be saying, “Well, I’ll take 50% responsibility, and they can take the other 50%.” Here is the thing with that kind of math. It sucks. You will only be 50% free. And what kind of freedom is that?

Taking 100% responsibility does not absolve the other person of their responsibility. But that’s theirs to sort out. The only thing you have control or power over is yourself.

Here is why embracing your 100% responsibility is so liberating…

When we take full responsibility, we acknowledge ourselves as the master creators of our life and circumstances. And while it may feel a little crunchy to start with, I promise, the crunchiness soon turns into a thrill, because taking responsibility allows you to acknowledge your immense power.

We have always been master creators, but we empower ourselves by recognizing our hand in all the crappy and all the great things in our life.

When our master creator fuses with the big juicy dreams that have begun to occupy our thoughts, then we become conscious master creators. Cool, huh?

And now you can do what you were always intended to do. Enlighten the world by being your whole magnificent self out loud.

Okay, a quick recap: exhale because the truth was spoken – it was over. Envision big fat juicy dreams and watch the fears melt away. Engage a circle of amazing people who can support your reinvention. Express the all of you freely with those that can hold space for the ever-expanding you.

Embrace your 100% responsibility and acknowledge the master creator that you are. Combine that with your big, fat, juicy dreams and feel yourself empowered to now consciously create. And allow your dreams to enlighten the world just a little or a lot.

As always, you choose – so, what’s it going to be?


Farhana Dhallafarhana cln is a #1 Best Selling Author, International Life Coach & Speaker, and Creator of the transformational Thank You for Leaving Me Journey. She is the visionary and leader of the enlightened divorce movement and  the ultimate ‘go to’ person for shifting perspective. As a ‘suddenly single mom’ to three small children, she intimately knows the overwhelming fear and pain – -and the liberation of stepping into the highest version of oneself. Check out her free webinar Divorce Is Not Your Fault and connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.

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