How To Deal With Betrayal

No matter how spiritual you may be, or how much you meditate, do yoga, go to temple, betrayal is painful.

It hurts when someone you trust does something or says something that hurts you in some way. Or they cheat.

It can be heartbreaking when you invest so much into a relationship, give so much of yourself, and trust is broken.

You are human. Acknowledging the pain is a step towards healing. 

In moments when you feel betrayed, it’s easy and understandable why you may never want to trust again.

It might feel safer to contract, close your heart as a protection, shut down, become bitter and give up on love.

Doing so only gives power to the person that may have betrayed you.

If you have been betrayed. I am deeply sorry for your pain. There’s nothing you did wrong.

In this human experience, no human being is perfect. Pain is inevitable. It’s guaranteed that we will all make mistakes at some point in life. As you deal with other people who are also imperfect human beings doing the best they can, it can often get messy.

Love can be an incredibly challenging path. As we sometimes act out of our childhood wounds and past programming, we may end up doing things that we regret and didn’t even know why we did them.

If you have been betrayed, it is easy to hold onto the pain of the past, but this will keep you recreating the past in your future.

If you have been betrayed, it is easy to hold onto blaming the other person. But this keeps you stuck in being a victim, and you remain powerless.

You are not a victim but a powerful creator. At any given moment you can choose what you will do and what your reality will be. 

It takes courage to give up blaming and take responsibility.

To take responsibility is to examine what your part is in any situation.

If outer experience is a reflection of inner reality, ask yourself, “What is this person mirroring to me about myself?”

And… “What ways do I betray myself?”

Yes, it is painful when someone you love betrays you. But what is even more painful are the ways you may have betrayed yourself. Some you may be aware of, and some might be completely unconscious to you.

So when you are in the midst of dealing with betrayal, be loving with your own heart. It’s easy to beat yourself up for making a certain choice or not seeing what was coming. Instead, be gentle with yourself. Learn the lessons inherent in the situation. And forgive yourself fully.

So what if betrayal was in fact a gift?

It shows you your own self-betrayal, and where you are out of integrity with yourself. Thus giving you the opportunity to heal, commit to yourself more deeply and honor who you really are.

When you betray yourself, you simply set yourself up to be betrayed. 

We betray ourselves in order to be loved, validated, fit in and be accepted.

You betray yourself every time you say “Yes” when you mean “No”.

Or when you feel an intuition and ignore it.

Or break your commitments to yourself and don’t follow through.

Each time you do so, you lose self-trust and drain your own power.

How do you betray yourself?

You can let the pain of betrayal close your heart. Or you can allow it to be a wake-up call to love yourself and commit to yourself more deeply.

The more you honor you and be your authentic self, the more you are truly able to honor another person and give others the opportunity to honor who you really are.

It’s then that you can have a real relationship. The real relationship starts with you. This is the foundation of every relationship.

Be faithful to yourself, and you will attract to you a person that is a reflection of your own self-loving. 

And if you don’t like who and what is showing up in your life…

Change yourself first.




Kute BlacksonKute Blackson is an utterly unique visionary in the world of human potential. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s life work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. Acclaimed worldwide for his life changing, one of a kind, transformational experiences, he is considered one of the leading voices in the fields of transformation and spirituality. Kute is an inspiring modern day spiritual teacher and a bold voice for a new generation. He leads transformational journeys to Bali (get more info here).  He also helps women overcome any and all obstacles to love with his “The Man Breakthrough Experience” , the Women’s Seminar.