Why NOT Dating (After Divorce) is Hurting Your Children​


​When my​ daughter told me of her ‘plans' to have twin girls and twin boys and take them to the park everyday in her bike carrier​ with the idea of one tak​ing​ the girls, and the next day ​taking the boys​, it prompted a question from me.

I asked “Why can't you take them all?”​

She gave me a quizzical look that said “How is that possible?”It was then that I realized that she had never factored having a partner in her life​!​

She was going to do this all on her own. Just like her Mama.


It hit me like a brick.

I had only modeled one thing.

“I can do everything myself.”

Not a bad lesson.

Until even inadvertently it ​became part of a limiting belief.

​W​hile ​I was ​modeling the power of the Divine Feminine, I ​had ​excluded the invitation of the Divine Masculine to join me.

I wasn’t aware that my closure in this area was impacting my children. I wasn’t aware that my strength had now become ​a​ liability.

It’s not that I neeeeed a man in my life. But, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone who is conscious, aware, strong, able and wanting to love me and my children as a part of our experience?

​So o​ver the past couple of years, I have ​been opening myself to the possibility… and the Universe has responded by putting the perfect people in my path… I have seen great love affairs blossom in front of my eyes, observed love affairs that have continued to grow over decades of being together, and… I have opened to dating which has brought great men who each have given me a​ piece of profound healing and faith in what lies ahead as they have helped me melt off my limiting beliefs.

​I understand more now what Divine Love really means.

Expansive. Trusting. Willing. Supportive. Adventurous. Flowing. Expressive.

​And now with this greater understanding, I can model something different for my children.

While I CAN do it all on my own, it is really a sweeter experience shared. It takes courage to step into that possibility… it takes courage to date again, it takes courage to be willing to get your heart hurt (again) and, ​it takes courage to believe.

​I'm a believer. And THAT is how I'd like my kids to experience themselves.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this video and what it stirred up. Please do share it if you found it valuable…

Farhana Dhalla 172x204
Farhana Dhalla is a #1 Best Selling Author, International Life Coach & Speaker, and Creator of the transformational Thank You for Leaving Me Journey. She is the visionary and leader of the enlightened divorce movement and  the ultimate ‘go to’ person for shifting perspective. As a ‘suddenly single mom’ to three small children, she intimately knows the overwhelming fear and pain – -and the liberation of stepping into the highest version of oneself. Check out her free webinar Divorce Is Not Your Fault and connect with her on Twitter and Facebook. If you're curious about her ‘style' of coaching and some areas of coaching, check out her article, Coach of Many Colours.

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