Conscious Love-Making: 8 Yogic Tools That Will Elevate Your Sex Life

Posted by on August 5, 2018 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 8 Comments

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Whether you’re single, married or in a relationship, below are some practical, yogic tools to improve your sex life. Make the transition from ‘having sex’ to ‘making love.’


The key is to view our sexuality holistically—not just as a physical or emotional experience. When we honor our sexuality as the most potent energy we possess (literally the ability to create life), we realize a powerful opportunity for cultivating union—a deep, soulful merging between two people.


Turn your love making into a spiritual practice. Use sex to awaken, express your creativity and expand consciousness. In yoga, this is called bramacharya (containment and mindful use of sexual energy) and is one of the 10 foundations (yamas) of living a yogic life.

1. Choose Partners Wisely

Look and choose partners that have the same intention as you. For example, if you are seeking a relationship, be clear they have the same intention. If you just want a lover, make sure your partner is on the same page. Is this a monogamous relationship or open? Transparency builds mutual trust and understanding and creates the safety necessary for your psyche and soul to feel safe enough to expand. Having honest, direct conversations means you’re setting the foundation of love and respect.

2. Agree on the Ground Rules

Prior to entering into a sexual relationship, have a conscious dialogue around basics such as sexually transmitted diseases, what type of birth control you’ll use and even what happens if you do get pregnant. It’s crucial to set and agree on ground rules in order to build a foundation where both partners feel understood.

If you have trouble discussing touchy subjects with your partner, it’s a good indication that there is not enough care, friendship, emotional connection or psychological development between you to warrant moving into a sexual relationship. In other words, if you can’t be honest about your needs or truth, ask yourself why? Is this really an appropriate sexual partner for you?

Bonus: deeper intimacy and physical satisfaction comes when you feel safe, heard and respected!

3. Practice Deep Breathing

Before you enter the physical love making, get in the habit of slowing down and resonating with your partner by breathing together. Conscious sexuality is not about orgasm. It’s not even about intercourse. When we focus our attention on the breath, we move out of a goal oriented, physical process and into a more ‘feeling state’ connected to the subtle, non-linear, energetic body.


Making love is two people truly seeing, feeling, celebrating and honoring each other—a merging of the two into the one. When you deepen and slow down your breath, you open over 72,000 energetic pathways or nadis. This relaxes your body, increasing blood circulation which can lead to fuller, more pleasurable orgasms (not necessarily the goal). It also calms the mind and softens the ego. You will begin to connect to your partner from a more generous, humble, open and authentic place. If you notice continued deep, conscious breathing is difficult for you, get thyself to a yoga class!

4. Practice Soul Gazing

Another powerful exercise to build energetic and emotional attunement with your partner is Soul Gazing. This is an open-eye meditation where you simply sit comfortably and relax together.

Start by sitting on the floor or bed across from each other in a cross-legged position (or whatever feels comfortable). Sit close together, knees almost touching. Lengthen through your spine, relax your shoulders, face, jaw, tongue and your expectations. Make and gently hold eye contact. (It is helpful to look left eye to left eye so the eyes are not darting back and forth.) Begin to observe each other silently. Take each other in. Watch your breath without trying to control it. Observe what you see in the other person and how it feels to truly be seen. Let any thoughts, judgments, expectations, defenses or tension rise and silently fall away. Relax, breathe, see, be seen and feel.

For many people, it is extremely difficult to maintain eye contact here. Laughter often arises, a feeling of silliness or fidgeting. Simply notice this and allow it to rise and fall away like waves in the ocean. Come back to the breath. Silently sit and gaze into each others’ eyes—with no expectation—for a minimum of 15 minutes.

When you move out of the personality and verbal mode of communicating, you begin to simply be with another and drop into a more authentic space. Your connection deepens out of the “False Self” we tend to project. You begin seeing through the eyes of the heart and perceiving your partner beyond the roles and identity you have attached to them. Expectations and judgements slip away. The Soul or Spirit becomes more tangible.

Attuning and bringing your energies into alignment with deep breathing and soul gazing will immediately enhance the intimacy in your relationship even when you are not having sex.

THERE’S MORE, CONTINUE READING THIS ARTICLE…

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8 Reader Comments

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  1. 1881864405371282@facebook.com' Jerome Chick says:

    Ima celibate Yogi so it don’t matter.

  2. 490618547769602@facebook.com' Stephen Ambrosich says:

    ..this is good general information to start the conversation that many folks do not even want to talk about.

  3. 1037076379666108@facebook.com' Donald Viccaro says:

    Kari Thompson Viccaro

  4. 1469860473314840@facebook.com' Joshy El says:

    Til Lawson

  5. 10152886256287024@facebook.com' Amber Jedda says:

    Jack Nicholls

  6. Anonymous says:

    That’s hot.

  7. 10153116272395835@facebook.com' Jose Planken says:

    ❤????

  8. 961967933846301@facebook.com' Jenn Allen says:

    Love this

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