How Sex Differs Energetically for Men and Women and What to Do for Better Sex


Some chakra specialists say your sexuality resides in your first chakra, while others say it’s associated with your second chakra.

So which is it?

Really, it’s BOTH – and that’s probably why everyone is so confused.

There are really two distinctly different types of sexuality – masculine and feminine (and actually, many shades of gray in between). For our purposes here, we’ll talk about these two polar aspects. Masculine sexuality is rooted in the first chakra and feminine sexuality resides more in the second chakra.

Now notice I didn’t say “male sexuality” or “female sexuality,” but “masculine” and “feminine” sexuality.  This is because I want to make a distinction between gender and archetypes.

In general, it’s better to talk about archetypes, since there are men who actually express more of a “feminine sexuality” and women who have more of a “masculine sexuality.”

Typically, though, a woman will express the feminine archetype, and a man will exhibit the masculine archetype.  For this reason, I’m going to talk about men as masculine and women as feminine – with full awareness that I’m generalizing for our purposes here, and that there are certainly exceptions to the “rule.”

Masculine sexuality has a strong physical drive, and is singularly penetrative by nature. Feminine sexuality has far less drive and is receptive and other-oriented.

This has been shown through the administration of hormones to pre-op sex-change patients.  Men who opt to change into women take female hormones and report a decrease in their sex drive, but an increase in their emotionality.  And women who choose to become men take male hormones and generally report an increase in their sex drive.

The first chakra is about survival and basic instincts and drives, so sexuality is much more of a basic, physical need for men than it is for women.  The second chakra is about flow and receptivity, duality and intimacy.  For women, sex is less of a basic drive and more of a way to connect emotionally with another; a form of intimacy.

For a heterosexual couple to more fully experience energetic/spiritual connection during sex, they can learn to navigate into each other’s typical mode. A man can learn to move his sexual energy up into his second chakra and connect more deeply with his female lover. As he moves into his second chakra, some of his natural drive diminishes, and he becomes less goal-oriented and more sensitive to his partner’s needs, the intimacy and connection grow.

Quite interestingly, when he does this, his partner gets more aroused, and her masculine (first chakra) sexual drive kicks in more fully.  Basically, as he begins connecting with her on her level, she naturally reciprocates and starts joining him on a deeper level of physical lust.

In some relationships, the male may actually exhibit the female needs and the woman may show more sex drive.  In these cases, the roles described above might be reversed.  But the point is still this — if each partner adapts to the other’s needs, they can co-create a sexual experience that includes the physical drive of the first chakra combined with the emotional intimacy and connection of the second chakra.

When they each come halfway, they meet in the chakra nexus –where the first and second chakras meet — and they create a powerful unified energy field that can then move up the chakras toward more and more ecstatic states, and sex becomes an immensely healing and pleasurable, spiritual experience for both partners.

vicki howieHeal your chakras 24/7 with Vicki Howie’s Chakra Boosters Healing Tattoos™ (find out what inspired her to create them here). And, get your complimentary copy of her Chakra Abundance audio here



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  1.' Yonna says:

    Nice post 🙂

  2.' JENNY says:

    Wow I’ve had tantric experiences even before I knew what tantra meant or was. I’ve read so many material afterwards trying to understand the experiences . But you just explained the “root” of it all in these. Also explains why me and my previous partner couldn’t get it right in the bedroom! I have higher testosterone than most women so I am a beast in the bedroom and it goes back to first chakra sex as a survival mode, basic instincts. Naturally I originate there and move up to the second chakra if I am met there. So previous partner felt threatened by that. He gave me the image that he was coming from the second chakra, sexually, but he was coming from the first chakra.

    The one who I had tantric experiences with though, at that time in my life i was very vulnerable. He met me in the second chakra which had me open up in my first chakra. And then like you said the chakra nexus. Wow!

    So interesting! Thank you for helping me make connections with the sharing of your knowledge!

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