Turn Back YOUR Clock with Christiane Northrup

Approval Seeking Behavior: How to Let Go of It

Luminita Saviuc | Purpose Fairy

“Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.” ~ Harvey Mackay

So many people live under the impression that who they are is not good enough and that in order for them to become whole and complete, in order for them to feel fully loved and appreciated, they have to get the approval of those around them. 

Believe it or not, approval isn’t something you should chase after. Approval is something that should come effortlessly your way from simply being yourself, from loving who you are and what you do and and from living your life in a beautiful and authentic way.

Today I would like to share with you 5 great ways that are meant to help you let go of the need for approval. Here they are.

Enjoy :)

1. You alone are enough.

You alone are enough and you really don’t need anyone’s love and approval in order to feel this way. All the love you need and desire will never be found in another person or by accumulating a lot of material things. It can only be found by looking within and recognizing that you already are whole and complete and that you don’t need anyone or anything to feel this way. You alone are enough!

“The greatest difficulty is that men do not think enough of themselves, do not consider what it is that they are sacrificing when they follow in a herd, or when they cater for their establishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. It’s called self worth not others worth.

The more you go around chasing and begging for love and approval from outside of you, the emptier you will feel and the unhappier your life will get. You really don’t need anything or anyone in order for you to feel valuable, in order for you to feel worthy. Your worth doesn’t come from outside of you, it comes from within you.

Never get your sense of worth from outside yourself. Don’t let other people tell you how much you’re worth, decide for yourself. It’s called self worth not others worth.

3. Give more of yourself to yourself.

Seek to give all of those things you want from others to yourself. If you want compliments, if you want to receive attention, if you want love and appreciation, give yourself all of these things and more. Love and approve of yourself as much as you would want the world to love and approve of you and by doing so you will finally understand that who you are is enough and that there is nothing about you that is lacking.

“People who do not love themselves can adore others, because adoration is making someone else big and ourselves small. They can desire others, because desire comes out of a sense of inner incompleteness, which demands to be filled. But they can not love others, because love is an affirmation of the living growing being in all of us. If you don’t have it, you can’t give it.” ~ Andrew Matthews

4. Be true to yourself.

“Be yourself. If you water yourself down to please people or to fit in or to not offend anyone, you lose the power, the passion, the freedom and the joy of being uniquely you. It’s much easier to love yourself when you are being yourself.” ~ Dan Coppersmith

Life isn’t about behaving in the way others expect you to behave. Life isn’t about wearing all kind of masks and costumes and pretending to be something you are not. Life is about honoring your authenticity. It’s about living life with integrity and doing the things that feel right to you, not to others.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that who you are is not good enough and that in order to be loved and approved by others you have to start pretending to be something you are not. Seek to be true to yourself at all times even at the risk of “offending” those around you. Make people love you for who you truly are and not for who you want them to think you are.

5. Focus on what truly matters.

“It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The invitation

You know those people who waste most of their lives chasing success, fame and fortune, thinking that by having all of those things they will be happy? Well, the need for approval is a lot like that. You think it will make you happy and you think it will fill all the empty holes in your life but the truth of the matter is that it won’t. That’s not what approval does. 

Let go of the need for approval and start focusing on loving yourself for who you are not for who you think you should be. Always remember that getting the love and approval of those around you is a bi-product of loving yourself, honoring yourself and living your life from a place of integrity and authenticity.

There is no real essence in the approval you get from others. That’s not the “food” your soul feeds with. That’s not what your heart needs. Your heart needs you to understand that who you are is enough and it wants you to embrace, to love and to accept yourself for who you are. Your heart wants you to stop pretending to be something you are not and to just be yourself. It just wants you to be the wonderful, unique and valuable being you were born to be. That’s all it wants from you.

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