How Anger Ended Up Being Good- Farhana Dhalla



I was shocked when a friend railed into me with “When I was suicidal and you were coaching me, you made me so angry I wanted to punch you in the face.”


I was shocked more than stung.


I don’t think anyone has ever spoken to me that way.

No sting. Just surprise.

And maybe a little sad that I obviously didn’t help her at a time when she needed it.

Although intuitively, I felt I had.

I wondered what I was supposed to learn from that moment.

Then I remembered a conversation some years back that I had with Spirit. I had just gotten off the phone with a client in which I coached her hard. Maybe too hard. I felt terrible.

I said to Spirit, “I think most times I coach with You. Your words come through my mouth but this time I think my ego came thru and I was pretty no nonsense and perhaps rough with her.”

Spirit replied “What makes you think I am not your ego?”


That was a paradigm shift for me.

I hadn’t thought about it like that before.



If God is both the Alpha and the Omega; then there is nothing that God is not. So the notion that God is in some moments and not in others isn’t plausible.



Spirit continued talking to me. “What makes you think that what you said isn’t exactly what she needed to hear and that you were acting as my conduit?”

I was told to lose attachment to even judging whether a session went well or not because then I was attaching myself to a vision of me “being something” versus “being.”

Over time I became uninterested in how people ‘graded’ me. I just relied on my internal monitor to see if I was operating with clean heart or not. It really is the only grading system I am interested in.

While I was recalling this moment I had with Spirit some years ago, a nudging told me to check something on the computer.

I was guided to pull up The Scale of Consciousness.


In David R Hawkins' book “Power vs Force” he explains that we all operate at a certain frequency and the frequency changes with our thoughts and feelings.

Most of us desire to experience ourselves as love, joy and peace – that is the top end of the scale – a frequency of 500 and above.

The frequency for suicide is, as you can imagine, a pretty low vibrational point… it's frequency range is anywhere from 20-50

Guess where anger is?

Anger is at 150.

That is a jump of at least 100 on the Consciousness Scale!


So if she went from suicidal to angry, that really was a good thing.

Who knew?

Even if I am seared in her memory as a terrible coach, it doesn’t much matter. The work was being done by something Greater.

I was merely a conduit who had learn more deeply the difference between ‘being someone’ vs ‘being’.

Where can you release ‘being someone' and just ‘be'?


Farhana Dhalla 170x200 enhancedFarhana Dhalla is a #1 Best Selling Author, International Life Coach & Speaker, and Creator of the transformational Thank You for Leaving Me Journey. She is the visionary and leader of the enlightened divorce movement and  the ultimate ‘go to’ person for shifting perspective. As a ‘suddenly single mom’ to three small children, she intimately knows the overwhelming fear and pain – -and the liberation of stepping into the highest version of oneself. Check out her free webinar Divorce Is Not Your Fault and connect with her on Twitter and Facebook

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