6 Simple Ways to Win Friends and Experience More Positive Social Connection

Posted by on September 22, 2015 in Conscious Living, Thrive with 1 Comment

bff (best friends forever)By | Positive Provocations.com

While growing up, I was almost always surrounded by loving friends, who stood by me in thick and thin. I really never knew the pain or anguish of being friendless or disliked. As a librarian and as my super intelligent Daddy’s little girl, the few outgoing and conversational qualities I possessed were constantly in use helping me to be well, Liked. But, as I grew up and started understanding life and all its intricacies, I came to a startling realization…..not everyone ‘feels’ liked or loved. Notice I said, not everyone ‘feels’ liked or loved….cause everyone is loved and liked in reality, we just don’t accept and love ourselves enough to embrace that fact.

I grew up loving and reading Dale Carnegie. I am so influenced by his books, that I use his methods in many of my Seminars and group counseling sessions. When it comes to books about networking, building relationships or dealing with people, my favorite and undisputed classic is ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’. Dale Carnegie wrote the book in 1936 and it has been read and put to good use by millions of people since.

Related Article: Young People’s Friendships Affect Their Health Later On

The most imperative of realizations in the book is that although some people are more extroverted or affable, dealing with people is a learned skill that anyone can master. Believe me, I thought I had that department of being liked and loved covered….till I was blown away by all the positive life suggestions in this book.

The second section of the book is titled, Six Ways To Make People Like You. These are simple ideas that make a huge difference. These are the ones I’m going to discuss and share with you today…from my perspective of course 🙂 So here goes people….hold onto your coffee mugs and read to be positively blown away…they are so simple, you’ll wonder why you hadn’t thought of them before..:

Six Positively Simple Ways to make People Like You

1) Be Genuinely Interested In Other People

In my years of counseling and dealing with people, I have seen, that the word that people say more than any other is ‘I”. People love love love to talk about themselves, their lives, their hobbies, their families, their passions, etc… When you become interested in people, ask questions and allow them to talk, they will love you for it.

Very simply: Just focus on being interested not interesting. There is a big difference. Interesting is about you, interested is about them.

2) Smile

I love to flash smiles at passersby and see whether they smile back. They usually do 🙂 I can see how a stressed aura changes just with the simple smile. A smile is a simple gesture that doesn’t cost you money, time, or energy but it can brighten someone’s day, changes the way you feel and makes you more approachable.

Very Simply: Smiling is attractive and contagious. People around you can’t help but smile when they see a big smile on your face.

3) Remembering and Using People’s Name

Its said that the sweetest and most important sound in language is the sound of your own name.

We’ve all been there when you recognize the person but can’t remember their name. It’s awkward, uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing. We often use the excuse that “I am not good with names,” but if you want to master people, you need to begin to remember names.

Very Simply: Develop a system, when you meet someone use their name 3 times in conversation or write their name down in a notebook with some notes about them. Figure out what works for you.


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  1. 10206826883044971@facebook.com' Philip Burns says:

    I hate when authors use “ways to get people to like you” I really like the “positive social connection” it makes it less one sided, and selfish. Wonderful connections can be made with anyone, anywhere. It’s not about being liked but enjoying a pleasant moment at that time and place.

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