6 Differences Between Loving Someone and Being In Love

Posted by on January 20, 2018 in Conscious Evolution, Conscious Living with 0 Comments

Image via Power Of Positivity

By Power Of Positivity

“True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” – Ricardo Montalban

Loving someone and being in love with someone are similar feelings with some key differences. Professional life coach and relationship expert Kemi Sogunle says, “Being in love with someone can stem from infatuation, possessiveness and obsession. Loving someone on the other hand, goes beyond the physical presence. You desire to see them grow, you see past their flaws, you see opportunities of building into each other and together; you motivate, encourage and inspire one another.


A lot of the time, people aren’t able to tell the difference between when they simply love someone platonically and when they’re in love with someone. This can lead to a lot of confusion to both parties. Thankfully, there are some important differences that can help everyone figure out what they’re feeling: whether it’s just love, or whether they’ve fallen in love.

6 Differences Between Loving Someone And Being In Love

1. Loving someone is a choice.

Being in love with someone is largely involuntary. When you love someone, you make the conscious effort to continue loving them – like your family that you don’t always get along with, or your best friend from grade school that you argue with as much as you get along. Those are the kinds of people that you make the choice to keep loving.

Entrepreneur Paul Hudson says, “You need him or her to be a part of your life in some way or another, not because you want to own a piece of this person, but because you want to give him or her a piece of yourself; loving someone is deeming him or her worthy of owning a part of you.

When you fall in love, you don’t really get a choice in the matter. We fall in love with people we don’t expect to all the time, because falling in love isn’t a choice.

2. Being in love means putting them first.

When you love someone, you want them to do well and wish them the best. However, when you’re in love with someone, it means doing everything in your power to help them succeed. You put them first and help them reach their goals. This usually balances out, because if they’re in love with you, too, then they’re doing the same thing for you.


… the only way to love is to be less egocentric – to put the needs and well-being of others ahead of your own. When you’re willing to put the happiness of another ahead of your own, you are taking the part in the phenomenon we call love,” adds Hudson.

You’re prepared to make sacrifices for one another in a way that you wouldn’t do for your best friend or someone you simply feel love for.

3. Being in love is forever.

We love many different people in our lives, and usually that love tends to fade. We love our best friends from college, but as the years change we may only remember them fondly. “Falling in love may not necessarily last long since it is usually based on infatuation, lust or obsessing over the other party,” adds Sogunle.

Therefore, love is a thing that can fade – but being in love is forever. Even if those people aren’t in our lives anymore, we can still conjure up those feelings of love for them. When we’re in love with someone, an argument doesn’t make those feelings disappear. We will love them for the rest of our lives.

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