5 Reasons We All Deserve Forgiveness

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By Dina Strada | Tiny Buddha

“To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed. But this is not forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds.” ~Wayne Dyer

When we have been deeply hurt or betrayed by a friend, loved one, or even an acquaintance, it can be incredibly difficult to let it go and forgive them. Some acts seem almost unforgivable. But really not much is.


Related Article: We All Make Mistakes: How to Ask for Forgiveness (& Why You Should)

My belief is that people who hurt us are more often than not in a lot of pain themselves, and they’re making choices and decisions based on their own wounds.

I’ve spent the past two years working hard to forgive someone I loved deeply who hurt me. It hasn’t been easy and it’s taken a huge amount of time looking within, acknowledging my own mistakes in life, and seeing all the reasons it’s imperative I forgive others for their wrongs. They deserve it as much as I do.

It’s one of the most powerful and loving things we can do, and it ultimately brings us peace of mind and the loving energy we deserve in our lives.

So, why should you let go of your resentment and rage and forgive someone who has hurt you? A few reasons that have been motivators for me:

1. Forgiving allows the other person to work on themselves.

Nobody is perfect. We have all had times in our lives when things have gotten out of control or we acted in ways that weren’t in alignment with who we want to be in this world.

Yes, sometimes people do hurtful things because they are flat out selfish, but most of the time we screw up without meaning to. We all deserve a second chance to do better.

Receiving a second chance when I have hurt someone else has allowed me to step up my game and prove to myself and to them that I can do better.

Related Article: Awesome Guided Forgiveness Meditation with Kyle Gray

Sometimes it’s taken time for me to really get it. We don’t change our thought patterns and behaviors overnight. But I know that when somebody has forgiven me, it’s forced me to take stock of my actions and motives and work on myself.

And in the process, I have shown up as the woman I want to be in this world and proven to myself and to others that I can change.

We wouldn’t even bother trying if another person hadn’t forgiven our actions as a way of saying, “I can let this go, and I trust and hope this experiences has taught you something.”

2. If we show others compassion, we learn how to develop it for ourselves.

Often when we are holding onto resentment toward someone who hurt us, it’s about our ego. We want them to suffer as much as we did.

Related Article: Obey the Law of Forgiveness and Enjoy the Beneficial Effects on Your Health and Well Being

One of my close friends has been teaching me about compassion. I don’t show much for myself, so I have a difficult time showing it for others. But as I have slowly learned to develop compassion for peoplewho have hurt me, digging deep into the reasons why they may have done it, it’s allowed me to develop more compassion for myself for the things I have done.

Developing compassion for someone who has hurt you is a powerful and integral step toward healing for both of you.

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3 Reader Comments

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  1. 926297690740984@facebook.com' Vernon Williams says:

    There is no reasons for forgiveness, we must learn to embrace and accept all our experiences….

  2. 172883543065277@facebook.com' Laura Asselin Puckett says:

    Compassion

  3. 866325136756629@facebook.com' Tim Clewlow says:

    Forgiveness cannot be forced, or rushed, or induced in any way. First you must pay attention to the emotional pain, and understand it as much as an emotion can be understood. After you successfuly do this, forgiveness is just a natural ending, it means you no longer need to attend to an emotion, it has nothing to do with whoever or whatever caused the pain to begin with. Forgiveness is the misinterpretation of ego saying, “ok, I’m happy again”, in truth a person never forgives, what they really say is “This is no longer a problem for me, therefor I no longer have a problem with whoever / whatever caused the problem to begin with”. Its just an acknowledgement that your ego has been satisfactorily attended to and so the emotions are now understood.

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