5 Reasons Why You Need to Take Care Of Yourself First

happy woman in field

By Theresa Ho | Vishnu’s Virtues

Admit it.

You’re the type of person who doesn’t like being called selfish.

You like to be the go-to person, the fixer-upper and the peacemaker.

You worry about what others will think of you if you put yourself first.  You feel guilty when you say “no”.

You imagine what your life will be like if you do put yourself first, but struggling with not knowing how others are going to react.  You are afraid people may start to dislike you.

Well, you’re right.

Some people may start to dislike you, but I can guarantee not everyone will stop liking you.  The ones who truly appreciate you and understand the give and take balance will stick around.  And those who don’t are the ones you weed out in your life so that you can have more energy and time to replenish yourself to give to the people and activities that matter to you in life.

You see I was raised in a culture where speaking my mind and sharing my feelings was frowned upon.

To be loved and accepted, I needed to excel in education, mask my imperfections and not trouble others with my woes, as people would think I am weak and undesirable. This impacted my life, specifically when it came to relationships.

I had a hard time trusting people and letting people into my life fully. I was afraid of being judged if I wasn’t able to meet up to other people’s expectation giving them a glimpse of my flaws yet, I would judge others if they didn’t live up to mine. It was a vicious circle.

I would also often compare myself to others, which made me miserable.

Eventually, this led me to not wanting to get up in the morning because I didn’t want to participate in the charade of life. I was mentally exhausted.

Luckily, my parents saw the severity of my unhappiness and said to me one day, “your happiness is more important than what we think or expect of you.  Please do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy.

That was the turning point in my life, where I decided I am going to put my needs first.  In doing so, I was able to shift other areas of my life for the better, because I was happier and was able to give more willingly, where I gave it my all but not give  it (my time and energy) all away.

Now, I know some of you might think well you are lucky to have parents who understand.  

That is true. But this doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle from time to time in communicating and not being able to see things eye to eye with them.

Instead, I’ve realized we may never understand or see eye to eye on certain things but if we truly love someone, the best we can do is respect their choices so long as it makes them happy.

Because deep down do you believe your loved ones would rather see you be happy than miserable?

Yes, certainly as you change you’ll stir things up and it may take time for them to adjust and understand but in the end when the decision you make leads you to be happier that’s what life is about isn’t it?

So if you are ready, it’s time to kick the habit of shouldering obligations.

Here are 5 reasons why you need to take care of your needs first.

  1. You will be more successful and gain more respect

When you say yes to everything, people will think you don’t have a backbone.  It can be seemingly unattractive when it comes to navigating your dating life and your work life.

As I mentioned, I use to be the biggest people-pleaser!

Along the way I was an emotional wreck and lost myself in the process.  It hurt my relationships and the opportunities of being seen as a leader in work.

In my dating life the guy would fall out of love with the girl who used to have her own life because I became dependent on him for my happiness.  And at work, not only could I not say no, I’d be afraid to ask for a raise or a promotion hoping someone would see what I am doing and speak for me.

The thing is if you don’t respect, speak up for yourself who will?  You make it easy for people who take all the time to start taking advantage of you.  This leads me to the next point.

  1. You’ll have better relationships

When you say yes to yourself and take care of our own needs first, it shows that you are not afraid to make yourself a priority.


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14 Reader Comments

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  1. 10207986658852445@facebook.com' Dave Fletcher says:

    Selfish pricks are selfish pricks, only thinking of themselves, as long as there alright !

    • 846414435380494@facebook.com' Revolution de Mind says:


    • 10153578990000831@facebook.com' Tanya Dillon says:

      The reason it is important to remember to take care of one’s self first, is so that you have the energy, strength, and motivation to share with others and assist them in their lives. There are many people who, while not thinking of themselves first, become manipulative and bitter because nobody else puts them first either. They become doormats. I am quite certain that this is what the article (if it were properly linked) would have been referring to.

    • 148270801883880@facebook.com' Conscious Life News says:

      Agreed Tanya!

  2. 1144347338926491@facebook.com' Everardo Miramontes says:

    I disagree. People can grow faster by mutual love and cooperation. Being selfish will in the end create a questionable human being with low moral fortitude.

    • Ngalevnu@gmail.com' Anna says:

      I totally agree with you. We live in a society with many issues, we need to share and care people around us to make this society be sustanable and development. If we just care about ourselves, this society is not called society, it’s small group, that leading to many problems

  3. 914046545342626@facebook.com' Hanna Fischer says:

    Eva Bambi

  4. 914046545342626@facebook.com' Hanna Fischer says:

    Eva Bambi

  5. 914046545342626@facebook.com' Hanna Fischer says:

    Eva Bambi

  6. 132823023741944@facebook.com' Tony Godwin Jr. says:

    Self love before you ever learn the true meaning of loving another. Love all equally as you love thyself.

  7. 1657563401122243@facebook.com' Matt Black says:

    Krista Woodley

  8. Anonymous says:

    Zoe Sorel DuFault

  9. I just try to keep my promises, and not to promise things I can’t deliver upon

  10. 10205059164894242@facebook.com' Rosemarie Felicity Valmoria Bestal says:

    Kim Harold Peji Rizza Joyce Palmario Mendoza

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