5 Reasons Why Self-Love Isn’t Selfish

Lana Fox | Purpose Fairy

“This self-love is the instrument of our preservation; it resembles the provision for the perpetuity of mankind: it is necessary, it is dear to us, it gives us pleasure, and we must conceal it.” ~ Voltaire


We can often talk a good game when it comes to self-love. “You need to take care of yourself,” we might tell a friend, or “Your feelings count too.” But have you noticed that it is often easier to sing the self-love anthem when you’re delivering it to someone else?

In truth, self-love is the opposite of selfishness, but until we start to live that truth, the harder it is to learn. So here are a few related points to help you express self-love without feeling selfish about it. May they bring you peace.

1. There is no such thing as separateness.

If you know, as I do, that we are all one, then you also know our energy isn’t separate. That’s why, when I take time to love myself, my energy becomes more loving for others. After all, “my” love and “your” love are one and the same. That’s why we feel positive around positive people. It’s why laughter can be infectious, and why charity spreads.

2. All love is our love.

Although it is possible to express love for others more readily than we express it to ourselves, if we really want to love more fully, I can’t recommend self-love enough. Think of love like a tank of air that a deep-sea diver breathes with. If the air in the love-tank is depleted, it is harder to find the energy to help others. If the air in the love-tank is full, we can help others without the slightest stress—at times, it almost becomes effortless. So how do we keep our love-tank filled? Through being loved. So when you express self-love, you fill that tank right up, and then you have more energy to love the world. Is that selfish? Of course not!

3. The way we speak to ourselves is the way we speak to others.

If you have a punishing voice inside yourself, then that punishing voice will appear to others. Think about it. When you hear someone saying, “I must go running,” or “I’m terrible at keeping my bedroom clean,” then the punishment points towards all of us, saying Everyone should go running and everyone should keep their bedroom clean. On the other hand, when we love ourselves, and say, “I’m learning to organize the house in a way that suits me, and I’m doing well—especially considering how busy I am,” then you express that feeling to the universe. You are more open, less judgmental, kinder, and lighter. And those around you will feel that too.

4. You attract the energy that you give off.

If you’re more punishing, those you attract will be more punishing. If you are kind and open, those around you will be too. That’s why affirmations are a powerful source of self-love—because by helping you to love yourself, they help you to attract more love, and that’s how you perpetuate loving energy.


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  1. denisedivine1965@gmail.com' Denisr says:

    Loved it,a whole new learning ball for me.thank you

  2. denisedivine1965@gmail.com' Denisr says:

    Thanks for this info,much appreciated.

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