3 Easy Peasy Steps to Resolving Anger


Finerminds-GuestPost-Farhana1I didn’t understand it. I had done years of forgiveness work. I thought for sure I had moved to a place of gratitude towards my ex-husband but these last couple of weeks a sharpness towards him had started to develop inside of me.

Oh sure there had been triggers for it and I have always been able to ‘Om’ myself into a good place. But this time, it felt like I had some fire to spit.

I was smart enough to know not to actually unleash my dragon fire breath on him. Whatever was occurring was occurring inside of me… but, what was it?

I went a-googling to try and understand more about anger and you wanna know what I found out?


Anger is not the primary emotion. Fear is the primary emotion and anger is how it presents itself.

Ugh…that totally bites. And it was true. There had been some shifts in our situation that had stirred up some unrealized fear in me.

As soon as I recognized it as fear, the anger seemed to morph from fire into a dense cloud inside me.

What was interesting was that simply by recognizing the root of the anger emotion, it already started to change.


Suddenly I remembered something my stepfather had said to me one time when I was when I was OCD about being ‘happy’ because I didn’t want to be an angry person.

He jolted me with these words “Farhana, anger is on the road to enlightenment”. That statement hung in the air before it slowly blanketed me. Then he went on to say “The spiritual path is about being in truth and that means being in truth about your anger.”


The simple allowance of me being able to be angry and STILL being spiritual seemed to unlock its private stronghold on me. It was my shame at being angry that was holding it in place.


After naming the anger – which really was fear just cross-dressing like anger – I noticed that I already felt a shift. Then when I allowed myself to feel aggravated (and fearful) and eliminated my judgment around it, it started to shift again.

This fascinated me. Anger was really just energy shape shifting in reference to my observation.

So I just began to observe it… it was like watching a ship sail across the sea. It just kept moving further and further away from me regardless if I did anything or not. Oh sure, I could throw the anchor over and keep it locked in place but come on, why do that?

I’m going for peace.

Even if I have to get pissed off to get there.


Farhana Dhalla 172x204Farhana Dhalla is a #1 Best Selling Author, International Life Coach & Speaker, and Creator of the transformational Thank You for Leaving Me Journey. She is the visionary and leader of the enlightened divorce movement and the ultimate ‘go to’ person for shifting perspective. As a ‘suddenly single mom’ to three small children, she intimately knows the overwhelming fear and pain – -and the liberation of stepping into the highest version of oneself. Check out her free webinar Divorce Is Not Your Fault and connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.

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