Loved & Lost: Rising From the Fall


It’s that time of year again where love is (supposedly) in the air! 🙂 I say supposedly because in my world it is always there in the air, in the ethers, in my own breath and vitality, and is the driving force behind every intention of my heart. But I digress, as I need to stop and remind myself that we have not yet reached that place in our collective humanity where we all remember who we are and what the hell we’re doing here. HAHA! Wouldn't that be great? I'm a work-in-progress as we all are, and I'm also happy to share some of my personal experience around love in all its previous torment and equal awesomeness, in the hopes it brings you all a bit closer to your own hearts. <3

I’m recently divorced, and while mine isn’t the typical situation (my ex and I remain great friends and still talk to one another almost every single week), ending my marriage and what lead up to it was a life-changing, path-altering experience I will never forget and will always cherish for the immense lessons it provided me. These lessons took my heart through the spin-cycle and hung it out to dry, but yet it still beats, stronger and more open than ever! For the first time in my life, I'm getting to know (and LOVE) myself.

Valentine’s Day can mean many things to many people and even when I’ve been in relationships, I never really made much of a fuss of this “holiday”. I never fail to take advantage of an opportunity to bring more “happy and joy” to those around me, though and “Love Day” truly is an excellent chance to take the time to remind others how awesome they are. Even if you just smile at a stranger, it could seriously turn their whole day around; especially those who do take these days to heart and are telling themselves stories that they are unworthy of love, ugly, etc.

But in general, for those of us not celebrating with a “special someone” this weekend, I think instead of letting it make us sad or feel incomplete or unlovable, we instead take a fine look in the mirror and realize that there is someone with you all the time deserving of your love…and that someone is YOU!  And when you truly love yourself first and foremost rather than looking for another to “make you feel” a certain way, the world loves you back! We truly do teach those around us how to treat us even if we are not consciously aware of this. And once self-love is intact, then and only then, can two whole people come together rather than two halves looking to make another feel “complete”.

I think it’s safe to say that if you are reading this, you’ve had your heart stomped on a time or two. Or perhaps you were the one to do the stomping. It’s all relative…however, that alone tells me that we are meant to experience love in its greatest expanse, because than pain of having love and having lost is what expands US the greatest spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

When we have truly appreciated something in our lives that reflected back to us the joy within, we can literally feel like a piece of ourselves has perished once the connection is gone. This would be a good time to notice the different feelings between attachment and true love and between co-dependence/need and simple choice/pleasure/resonance.

A Gift & A Wave…

The hidden gift of love itself is that you must be willing to be vulnerable, to be open and to have your heart broken in order to explore its deepest depths. When you surrender to your truth and fully expose yourself to another in that way, love will pour into that space in immeasurable ways. This does not equate to rainbows and butterflies where everything is peaceful 100% of the time, but rather it creates a space where conflict can be resolved in a calm and respectful manner that goes less through mirroring and more through compassion, understanding and a mutual goal of both persons wishing to grow, expand and heal their unresolved shadows/core beliefs that are no longer serving them in the most positive of ways.

I truly feel that humanity is headed towards a more heart-based living all around. Relationships in general are getting more personal, even if it may appear that the world of technology is pushing us all apart or that war and greed are doing more of the same while also destroying our beautiful Mother Earth. The trick to stopping the cycle of destruction and tipping the scales back to center starts within each and every one of us.

When we teach our children self-love, that their feelings matter, to explore meditation and understand energy and the potentials of manifesting and creating in 3D reality, we begin a new wave of conscious creativity; one that has been dormant since the great Ascended Masters of Atlantis. But the wave is coming, and in fact it’s already touched a million shores. But to see the change, we need to first be willing to BE IT.

To me this has always been the ultimate expression of love; self-care. When we take the time to heal our own shit, explore our inner workings, build our talents, share our gifts and go after our dreams we stop being just another face in the crowd and start becoming one who is not only true to themselves, but also is brave enough to be a beacon for others.

And this is the energy and light the wave is carrying across the consciousness of humanity, and it travels on the frequency of L-O-V-E. No shocker there, though right? <3 What will heal humanity is ultimately what we can also use to heal our very own hearts after a break up. Our feelings are so much more powerful than we've ever been taught to believe.

When we enter a new relationship, we often use negative, empty implicating words that we might not notice the effects of like “falling in love” or “losing myself in you” or “you complete me”. All of these phrases imply we are only halves of our true selves and while I get people want the other to feel wanted and needed, the reason strong relationships last are because they contain two people who can stand on their own, who simply chose to come together for mutual pleasure. Not because the sole underlying drive in our heart is a “need”.

The best way to rise up after falling deeply in love is to fall back into love, but this time with you! Seriously, I’m talking being awesome to yourself and quitting all of the self-sabotage crap. For once, whether you are in a relationship with another person or not, stop and take a minute and reflect in the glory of your OWN awesomeness. You will be surprised at what opportunities just might open up for you! 🙂

Have a blessed and love-filled weekend!

And no matter where you are, you are WHOLE and COMPLETE as you are in this moment! <3


tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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  1.' Open says:

    Great article Tamara – viewpoints that can only emerge from a deep exploration of the reality of love and life. <3

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