Are You Playing the Smoky Mirror Game? Do You Pass the Test?

Written by on December 31, 2015 in Conscious Evolution, Conscious Living with 14 Comments
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Soulful Eyes

The Smoky Mirror — Picking Out in You What's in Me

The ‘smoky mirror' is a concept that most people, at first, feel a strong repulsion with because they may not fully grasp the notion. I discussed it briefly in my book ‘Divine You' but, for those of you who have not read it, I'll recap:

Our Actions Reflected — The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!


When we find ourselves annoyed or upset with someone it is usually because we are mirroring the same behavior in some way.

It doesn't have to be wrapped in an identical package — there may be a similarity in what is annoying you within yourself. It's generally quite hard to weed out what it is though, I'll give you that.

We have to look out for the good ‘ol smoky mirror and take a long penetrating stare into it's milky glass when necessary or we could be fudging an inherent issue within ourselves that needs alignment.

Related article: Integrating For Growth & Healing: How to Illuminate Your Innermost Shadows

Deep Cleaning or Surface Cleaning — Which Will You Choose?

When you sweep any rising issue(s) under the rug, you are merely postponing the inevitable. If you surface clean your house, mark my words, you're going to get steam rolled by a giant dust bunny at some point!


“When you own up and take the responsibility to steer your life in the right direction, you will find that life becomes a grand adventure.”

The choice is yours whether you have the courage to look at your shadow self full on in the face or save it for another day. But take heed — just like the above-mentioned dust bunny — when you avoid your issues now, they tend to grow and start manifesting as dis-ease in your body.

Let's face it — we've got to get real about our actions and feelings if we want to move onwards and upwards.

We all came to earth (well, most of us) for personal growth. When you own up and take the responsibility to steer your life in the right direction, you will find that life can become a grand adventure.

When you find yourself criticizing others, or getting angry about their actions, take a look at what may be hidden in there for you to look at.

  • When you look into this metaphorical mirror are you reflecting the same problem (albeit on a bigger, smaller or slightly different scale)?
  • Or are you a deflector? Picking out faults in others because you know (subconsciously or consciously) that you harbor these traits?

When we continuously do a ‘patch-up' job or play games of dodge-cars — we are side stepping our problems or issues and this will never solve them. When we face up to some deep cleaning, we grow in leaps and bounds.

I know some of you may say, ‘well, I get annoyed at seeing people killing people on the news — it doesn't mean I'm a back-seat murderer?!'

No, it probably doesn't. But are you out baying for their blood? Do you believe in the death penalty for murder? Do you believe in retaliation and retribution?

Or can you see that all the above is just a vicious circle, chasing-our-tails kind of game?

If you can, then you most likely can view distressing events with a sense of great compassion and empathy. Maybe you can even send a little prayer to those involved. You are not engaged in the smoky mirror.

Can you see the difference?

Related article: Love vs Fear: Which One Are You Going To Let Win?

What's on the Telly?  Who Turned the Radio Off!?!  Where's my iPod?…No!  Not Silence, Please…

We have so much to distract us.

When we don't want to face the silence, which usually gives rise to inner questioning, we turn on the TV, surf the internet or turn the radio on.

This has to be curbed in order for us to evolve to the next level of human consciousness.

Another Example of the Mirror

So, with the smoky mirror, we gain reflective insight.

Notice how you feel when someone gets your back up. Is there something in them that you may not be addressing in yourself?

Be honest with yourself.

Let's take an example: There is a certain someone who triggers anger in you because they always assume who you are and what you're about. They never give you a chance to explain yourself or to even show them you have changed because they'll always see you as the same person from your school days.

Here is your chance to reflect:

  • Are you assuming something about them or others?
  • Are you judgment free?
  • Do you seldom see things from a different perspective or point of view?
  • Do you stereo-type people — especially the ones you've known for a while?
  • Do you truly listen to what others have to say?
  • Do you give people second chances?

When we can look at our own behavior, without judgment — just assessment and awareness — we are on the path of least resistance and a greater sense of inner learning and spiritual growth can emerge.

Be Honest and Keep That Heart Open for Learning

The next time you feel annoyed with someone, will you be able to step aside and assess why it is that you are still feeling this way? Ask yourself:

  • Is there still room for improvement in this specific area?
  • How can you better stop yourself from taking the same action with another?
  • Can you at least become aware when the problem or emotion arises?
  • Then can you take action to either stop yourself from judging another or unconsciously complaining about their perceived faults?

With this knowledge in tow, you have the ability to notice when you are stepping off course with your better judgment.

Even if you have already fallen into the trappings of the smoky mirror but noticed it afterwards, this is a step in the right direction. You cannot change something if you are still not accepting or acknowledging that there is a problem.

Every person that engages in this dance of life with you, has a teaching for you. Remember this and accept the teaching next time it is presented to you — no matter what package it comes in.

When you practice this it will enhance your life with the addition of peace in any circumstance. You are in control at all times. Reaffirm this daily.

Question time!

  • Is there someone in your life who pushes all your buttons but you can't seem to see the same in yourself?
  • What has been your most surprising moment of realization with seeing yourself in others?
  • Are you able to freely assess yourself when you feel annoyance arising within you when you are in the company of another?

You can leave any feedback in the comment section below 🙂

Cherie Roe Dirksen

Cherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author and multi-media artist from South Africa. To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com.

Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you click HERE. Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can also follow Cherie on Facebook (The Art of Empowerment).

Cherie posts a new article on CLN every Thursday. To view her articles, click HERE.

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  1. 170893306600068@facebook.com' Ид Чззм says:

    Not played it yet.. But i will go for it defiantly

  2. 879472568818068@facebook.com' Karin Impastato says:

    Happy New Year!

  3. jaredcollins876@gmail.com' Jared Collins says:

    Thank you so much for this, i had no idea! Now i can realize that and try to change something. I have definately been guity of this.

  4. abozak@telus.net' Ann says:

    I do not agree with the theory of this article. One thing that really gets my goat is liars. My mother was the Queen of liars. She was evil. I am a totally honest person, even if it means sporting a negative side of myself. Honesty means everything in the world to me. So don’t try to tell me that when I get my britches in a knot over some lies said to me, that it is a reflection that I am also a liar. Just doesn’t wash. Yes I judge liars and rightly so.

    The other thing that gets my knickers in a knot is if I email someone, people I know and have probably known for a long time, and they never email me back. Even when I have simple questions in my email such as would you like some of the cookies I baked. I am the type of person that returns emails within hours, usually immediately. So don’t tell me that this is a reflection that I also do not return emails. And yes, I will judge them as well on a couple of fronts – they make me mad by not returning the email, bad manners, they think they are too good for me, and infact I consider people that do not return my email as a form of backstabbing.

    • ahmedyunus27@gmail.com' Ahmed says:

      Well,we always feel justified
      when we are angry at people.But wait a moment. I agree with Ann that it’s certainly not everything that rattles us which has a counterpart within us.However, by reacting in the way Ann seems to think is right, we create within ourselves the very thing we so disapprove.We create it by the emotional energy we invest in it.It becomes out experience.We are then no better than the person we condemn. Compassion borne out of understanding frees us from getting caught in the negative doings of others.

      • abozak@telus.net' Ann says:

        “Compassion borne out of understanding frees us from getting caught in the negative doings of others.”

        Sometimes compassion is called for and many times compassion is not called for. Compassion is NOT called for in the face of lying or lying evil. To lend compassion to lying or lying evil, is to become weakened, perhaps to the point you become evil as well. Lying and lying evil is not to be understood. It is to be called for what it is. Evil.
        The world and a great many of its people are extreme liars and often lying evil nowadays. Wake up. We are not living in the 50 or 60 anymore. Our governments are evil, many employers are evil, your friends might be evil, your parents might be the spawn of Satan himself.
        I have had people say to me “you are so awesome, you are sooo honest, it’s rare to find honest people anymore”. I am somewhat naive and do not see that many people I come upon every day are lying. I’m still learning. My naivete is also my downfall.
        It is a struggle for me to live every day among the liars and evil in our world.

        • ahmedyunus27@gmail.com' Ahmed says:

          Thanks, Ann,for your interesting reply,especially your injunction to ‘Wake up.’I have experienced more treachery,lying and evil in my life than you can believe. I reacted with anger and and I did everything i could to fight against evil.The more I fought, the more evil I experienced.Then,one day,I woke up.I realised I couldn’t change the world, and that it wasn’t my business to do so.I could only change myself.My experience is now what I AM.

          • abozak@telus.net' Ann says:

            Thank you for your response.
            “The more I fought, the more evil I experienced.” I believe you. They say what you “resist” will persist. My way of coping was to withdraw from the evil, and life, and go into a shell. To not withdraw would have been certain death. Those of us who have survived these “evil energies” have a lot of PTST and it seems those energies never really seem to leave us. It taints all our todays and tomorrows unfortunately. And I can recall a lot of evil stuff tossed at me even since I escaped from the w.w. in 1968, from people whose names I hardly even knew. For the most part that stuff is gone now, but you never know. It’s like there are holes in our aura that certain bad people can penetrate.
            I have studied a lot of ways to supposedly deflect these bad things from happening to us by evil people. Can’t say as any of it really works. Cause our brains do not work the way theirs works and we cannot understand their frequencies.
            Have you ever read the book “A Boy Called It”? It is a short read. I could have added another 25 chapters to that book given the chance.
            There is one thing I did that helped me a lot. That was to go to google and spend about 40 hours reading about “Job” of the bible. It is all about good vs. evil.
            Getting back to the original writer of this article, I can only wish that the writer would open his/her eyes and realize that what we dislike in another is NOT a reflection of something we dislike about ourselves. What a mixed up world the writer must live in. It is unfortunate that the writer gets to toss out their opinion as fact when it is not true.

      • I love what you said about compassion – I couldn’t agree more, Ahmed! Thank you for your insight.

    • Hi Ann – the ‘smoky mirror’ doesn’t always apply to a situation. I did stipulate in the article that it ‘usually’ applies. I’ve also applied it to situations where I’ve drawn a blank and can’t pin point the action in my own behavior. But other times, upon reflection, I can see how I do the same thing in perhaps more covert ways. However, I ran across a quote this morning that seemed apt: “The more something upsets you, the more it is meant for you. When it no longer upsets you, it is no longer needed because the lesson is complete.” ~Bryant Megill. So even though you may not be mirroring that aspect of being dishonest, there is still something within that situation that you have to look into and heal. And as Ahmed said, the best place to start is by having compassion for why someone does what they do. It doesn’t mean whatever they are doing is right, it just keeps you in a place of understanding that there is sometimes more than meets the eye and our compassion is needed more than our judgment.

      • ahmedyunus27@gmail.com' Ahmed says:

        Thank you for those stupendous words.That qoute clinches the problem most beautifully. If Ann is reading this,I suggest she contact me at ahmedyunus27@gmail.com.I have a couple of lessons I have learned to share with her.

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