10 Ways To Be More Tough & Resilient In The Face Of Adversity

Written by on June 23, 2015 in Conscious Living, Thrive with 0 Comments

By | Loner Wolf


“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.”  ~ Seneca

“It's not the load that breaks you, it's the way you carry it.”  ~ Anonymous

When I was a teenager  I thought it was cool to wear my Doc Martin army boots everywhere.  I felt grungy, I felt edgy, I felt like a punk, and whenever I was asked why I wore such horrendously unfeminine footwear, my response was:

“Life is a battlefield, why not wear army boots to go with it?”

It was only after growing up and witnessing the social, personal, physical, economic and global turmoil constantly erupt around me that I realized the truth of these words.

Life is a battlefield.  But only if you resist.

There can be no war without fighting, and oftentimes the fear, hatred, depression and pain we experience in life comes as a result of our underlying belief that we must fight to be happy, we must fight to succeed, and we must fight to be whole.

Why Do We Suffer?

Our relationships are full of lying, cheating and fighting.  We hate our jobs, our bosses, and our coworkers.  We feel under-appreciated, taken for granted, ignored, used, abused and forsaken.  The people we truly love die or move on, and no one takes the time to care for us, or give us what we feel we need.

We blame other people, we blame ourselves, we blame life, God and the Devil.

A lot of our lives consist of naming, blaming, and shaming.  “But SOMEONE must be responsible!” we cry angrily, never knowing who truly is.

Our lives a lot of the time feel like an uphill struggle against thousands of major and minor disturbances that come into our lives out of the blue.  “Why do we suffer?” we constantly ask.

We carry an assumption that the answer must lie in the external world: in human nature, in evolution, in religion.  Few of us realize that the answer was within, rather than without us, all along.

The Root of Adversity

The root of adversity begins and ends within our minds.

If I was to tell you that our desires, expectations and tendency to resist and oppose creates all of our suffering in life, what would your reaction be?

For instance, listen to this common example of suffering:

Angela and Raj have been in a relationship for 6 years.  Raj has been getting increasingly frustrated at Angela's lack of conservative spending.  Angela feels defensive and is becoming more distant.  More fights are occuring between the two of them, and Angela suddenly declares one day that she wants to end the relationship.

What happened here?  Well, Raj's desire for Angela to spend money more wisely caused him to personally resist Angela.  This caused her to feel alienated and to resist Raj, which caused the breakup.  Instead of resisting Angela, Raj could have accepted her the way she was, and worked towards a mutually beneficial solution.

Here is another example:

Adrian's wife of 30 years has just passed away from cancer.  Adrian has been isolated for the past 5 years, and is feeling bitter and resentful because no one stood by him in his loss, and that his wife had to die in such a miserable way.

Here, Adrian had the desire and expectation that other people would stay by his side, resisting the reality of his situation and desiring it to be otherwise.  This caused him bitterness and hatred.  Also, rather than accepting that his wife died from cancer, his resistance and desire for a different outcome, caused him depression.

Here it's important to note that if we have the ability and power to change something that will improve the quality of our lives, or the lives of another, by all means we should, but without carrying heavy expectations or resisting the end result.

How To Be More Tough And Resilient

Firstly … don't expect to become more tough and resilient overnight.  For some people developing strength of mind comes quickly and easily.  For others, it can take a lifetime of work.

On my journey of Involution, developing a more resilient mind has helped reduce my daily anxiety, existential angst, and has increased my sense of inner peace and wholeness.

While I'm not quite Chuck Norris in the making yet, I have personally learnt a lot about how to keep a more level-head in the face of adversity.  This is what I learnt:

(1) Look at the bigger picture.

In 1, 2, 10 years from now, will what you care or worry about now really matter?  Chances are you won't even remember!

(2) Could you handle the worst case scenario?

Think about the worst possible scenario that could happen in your situation … could you handle it?  Be honest with yourself.  Most anxiety springs from the fear that we don't have the capacity to handle whatever comes our way.

(3) Affirm your strength.

Our inner, unconscious thoughts and chatter have a really powerful way of influencing our waking life.  When I made it a habit to affirm my strength, my courage and my ability ever day, I felt my overall confidence boost and my worry lessen.  Example affirmations include: “I am strong, whole and complete”, “I can solve any problem and face any challenge”, “I'm ready for today.  I can do anything.”

(4) Be mindful of your perspective.

How do you begin, go through and end your day?  Are you worried, hopeless, agitated, irritable, disappointed or depressed?  These are signs that you are resisting life and carrying too many desires and expectations.  Becoming aware of what you feel and how often you experience negative feelings will alert you to the need to change your perspective, and to learn to accept whatever comes your way.


Tags: , , , , ,


If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it.

Subscribe via RSS Feed Connect on YouTube

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

FAIR USE NOTICE. Many of the articles on this site contain copyrighted material whose use has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making this material available in an effort to advance the understanding of environmental issues, human rights, economic and political democracy, and issues of social justice. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of the copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of the US Copyright Law which contains a list of the various purposes for which the reproduction of a particular work may be considered fair, such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. If you wish to use such copyrighted material for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use'...you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. And, if you are a copyright owner who wishes to have your content removed, let us know via the "Contact Us" link at the top of the site, and we will promptly remove it.

The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Conscious Life News assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms.

Paid advertising on Conscious Life News may not represent the views and opinions of this website and its contributors. No endorsement of products and services advertised is either expressed or implied.
Send this to a friend