10 Unexpected Reasons Why We Don’t Want Sex

Written by on February 11, 2019 in Relationships & Sex with 0 Comments

Relationships are generally quite wonderful. However, they are also hard and require a lot of effort to maintain. There are times obstacles will threaten your relationship. One of these challenges is when one or both of you don't feel like having sex. Sex plays a significant role in your relationship. Not wanting it does not mean that you don’t love your partner or that this feeling will last forever, only that at that particular moment you don’t want to. It doesn’t necessarily lead to splitting. Maybe you are under too much stress or are being affected by the medication you are taking, but for whatever reason, sex with your partner is not exciting you.

The electricity and passion that you had when you first met is no longer there. You can’t even remember when the last time you had sex. If you have not yet identified the possible reasons that could be the cause of this dry spell, here are some of the unexpected reasons why someone may not want sex at times.

1) You are not observing personal hygiene

One of the most common turnoffs is bad hygiene. Nobody wants to have sex with you if you never bathe or brush your teeth. Women are more vocal about bad personal hygiene than men. Although sometimes a man who sweats can be a turn on for women supposedly because it is an indicator of strength and manliness, nobody wants that on a daily basis.

Solution: If you don’t want your partner to make themselves scarce or deny you sex due to your stench, make sure to bathe daily and ensure you are well-groomed, everywhere.

2) You are busy

Today’s world is fastpaced with people always occupied doing stuff. With the stress from work and perhaps your kids, sex comes second place. For men especially, you get excited to go to work because of the recognition, accolades and other rewards you get for doing your job that it seems that your work became your mistress. You are always on the run and never get time to spend with your partner or get enough sleep.

Solution: Find a balance between work and your partner. Take some time off your busy schedule to spend some “couple time.” If you are the partner, become more interested in his/her career and keep up to date with his/her progress to increase the connection between the two of you. If you want to increase the activity in the bedroom, it's time to get busy with your pillow.

3) You aren’t exercising enough

You might be wondering, what does exercise have to do with your sex life?  When you work out, the brain produces endorphins which aid in the release of sex hormones, testosterone, and estrogen. The hormones enhance digestion, reduces your heart rate, lower cortisol levels and help to keep your body relaxed. You will be more ready for a romp in the sheets if your mind is relaxed.

Solution: If you haven't joined an exercise program it might be time to get in. Your body will be fit and more flexible in bed. Start exercising, you never know, it might be just what you need to take your sex life to the next level.

4) You are self-conscious about your body/performance

Sex is an intimate act. It makes even the most confident people, vulnerable and can bring to the surface all your insecurities about how you look naked or whether you are good in bed. When you feel self-conscious, you will most likely not want to have sex.

Solution: Talk to your partner about your concerns. Try to get out of your head and stop stressing about it. Think positive thoughts like what the outcome will be once you do remove your clothes.

5) You aren't eating well

Certain foods and not eating a balanced diet may affect your sex drive. You may have noticed that your desire for sex is less once you take a plate of french fries. Salty and fatty foods make you feel bloated and lack sexual desire.

Solution: Take a balanced diet daily and avoid processed foods. Substitute the unhealthy foods with healthy ones. Eat a cucumber every so often; it boosts your libido as well as the overall sexual performance.

6) You are dehydrated

Water is the magical cure for almost everything. Being dehydrated brings on headaches which make sex be the last thing on your mind. No one wants to have to get it on with a throbbing head. Also, women who are dehydrated may suffer from vaginal dryness, which is one of the causes of uncomfortable sex.

Solution: If you don't feel like having sex tonight, prepare your body throughout the day by drinking enough water.

7) Sex is predictable

The same old positions, the same old moves. When sex becomes predictable, the excitement may burn out. You don’t feel excited about doing it because you can already foretell what is going to happen next.

Solution: Change some things up in the bedroom. He doesn’t have to be the one who initiates it all the time. Try new sex positions, do it not only in the bedroom. Do your research, find new ways to spice things up in the bedroom and surprise him.

8) You are punishing him

He forgot to load the dishes into the dishwasher, again. They say women have a knack for holding onto things and they may take them to the bedroom. If you did something wrong, she might be punishing you in the way she knows best, withholding sex from you. Generally, it’s known that men love sex more than women and so this plan may be working. It’s frustrating for you.

Solution: Women are easy to please. A grand gesture, that’s all it takes. For the one pissed off with the other, let go of grudges. Use the adage, ‘if it won’t matter five years from now, then don’t let it upset you for more than five minutes.’

9) You are bored

You are in love, why the would you feel so uninterested in sex?  At the start of your relationship, sex was wonderful; now it feels like you are watching reruns of an episode over and over. As the years go by, you start to get too comfortable in the relationship, and your life becomes routine and boring. When your life is boring, it stands to reason that even your sex will be boring.

Solution: The reason why sex at the start was so enjoyable at the beginning is that at the time everything was new and exciting. You always had new experiences you would look forward to. Bring back the fun in your life by scheduling weekly date nights or going on romantic getaways together.

10) You are changing your sexual orientation or preference

In today’s world, the number of people changing their sexual preference is increasing each day. However, it is still unexpected to realize when already in a relationship that you swing for a different team. If you find yourself no longer interested in your partner and are starting to be drawn more to the other sex instead, maybe your preference is changing.

Solution: Talk to your partner, family members, a close friend or a counselor about the confusing feelings you may be having.

Sex seems like something which is easy to do. It’s what keeps the spark in most relationships burning. However, for many people, it may lose its appeal for the above reasons and more. The fundamental solution to the loss of sexual desire is communication. If you are going through a phase of your life when you aren’t interested in sex, seek help from your partner, family or counselors.

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