10 Clever Ways to Deal with the Ups and Downs of Life

Posted by on September 22, 2014 in Conscious Living, Inspirational with 0 Comments

Luminita Saviuc | Purpose Fairy

“I think everybody has ups and downs in their lives. We learn from the biggest disappointments, right? You learn how to be humble to yourself and to be humble to others.” ~ Carolina Kostner

You know, lately I have been feeling very strange. Strange in the sense that one moment I’m up, flying high as a kite, feeling ecstatic, grateful and full of love. While the next moment I am down, feeling all fearful and anxious, as if something horrible had happened, or is about to happen. 

And I have to confess that I’ve learned a lot from these ups and downs and that’s why I decided to write this blog post. What follows are 10 clever ways to deal with the ups and down of life.


1. Stop looking for the source of your unhappiness.

Life has it’s ups and downs. It’s perfectly normal. Trying to find the source of your unhappiness will only bring you even more unhappiness. So stop it! Stop asking yourself: “Why do I feel so bad? What is causing me to experience al these ups and downs? Why am I so unhappy. And instead, ask yourself: “What makes me happy? What are the things that cause me to experience joy and gratitude?” And let your mind look for those things, the things that make you feel good, and no longer the things that cause you to feel burned out, anxious, fearful and unhappy. 

“No one should ever ask themselves that: why am I unhappy? The question carries within it the virus that will destroy everything. If we ask that question, it means we want to find out what makes us happy. If what makes us happy is different from what we have now, then we must either change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy.” ~ Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

2. Cut yourself some slack.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling down from time to time. There’s nothing wrong with feeling cranky, angry and irritated. You can’t always be happy. I used to think you can but I no longer think so. So just cut yourself some slack. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling without judging and condemning yourself for not being ‘perfect’. For not being the ‘positive’ person you thought yourself to be. Understand that positive people get angry too. Positive people have bad days as well. So just be gentle with yourself. Don’t burden yourself in vain. Allow whatever you are feeling to just be, without labeling it as good or bad.

“As a human being, anger is a part of our mind. Irritation also part of our mind. But you can do – anger come, go. Never keep in your sort of – your inner world, then create a lot of suspicion, a lot of distrust, a lot of negative things, more worry.” ~ Dalai Lama

3. Don’t believe everything you think.

I am a person of extremes. When I’m feeling high, I can’t imagine my life being any different. When I’m feeling down, I can’t imagine my life being any different. And this kind of thinking is beneficial when I’m feeling high, but when I’m low, it’s not really helping me. And I’m learning more and more about faith and about trusting the wisdom of life. I’m learning more and more about recognizing that fearful thoughts are damaging thoughts, illusionary thoughts. And that only those thoughts that come from love are real. 

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Don’t believe everything you think. Especially if your thoughts come from a fearful place. Instead, look for reasons to smile, to be grateful and to appreciate all that life has offered you. Look for things that will help you think kind and loving thoughts. For that will help strengthen your trust and faith.Trust that things will eventually change and that the Sun will shine on your street again. Be led by your hopes, dreams and aspiration. Not pushed around by your fears, problems and difficulties.

“Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns.” ~ Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

4. Blame it on no one.

Blaming external forces for what you feel is not a good idea, for that only puts you in a weak spot. Making you feel powerless, a victim of your circumstances. Blame it on no one. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for whatever it is that you are experiencing.

“Because of your belief in external things you think power into them by transferring the power that you are to the external thing. Realize you yourself are the power you have mistakenly given to outer conditions.” ~ Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune

5. You are never upset for the reason you think.

Life has an interesting way of being. Of showing us the things that are hidden deep within ourselves. An interesting way of ‘presenting’ us the things that require our attention, healing and forgiveness. There’s a great line in A Course in Miracles that goes like this: “I am never upset for the reason I think.” And it’s true. There’s always more to that which bothers us. We are never angry, upset, because of the reason we think.

If things in your life aren’t going the way you have hoped for, do not despair. Do not get mad. Instead, look to see where you aren’t behaving in kind and loving ways. Look to see if there are past wounds that still require healing, people or experiences that you haven’t yet forgiven and things you are clinging on to but need to let go of.

“You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at skies, that is why you must sing, and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.” ~ Krishnamurti

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