#1 Way To Let Go Of the Blame and Shame Of A Romantic Break Up


Instead of offering a personal video this week, I’m offering something better, a video of my dear friend, Farhana Dhalla, reading a touching passage from her international bestseller, “Thank You For Leaving Me.” In it, Farhana shares a brave, bold move you can take that will liberate you from any toxic emotions you are still experiencing around the break up of a romantic partnership.

In the video, Farhana explains how illuminating it was for her to take her ex-husband’s perspective in regard to the unraveling of their relationship and his choice to begin an affair.

She doesn’t pussyfoot around.

She DIVES in.

She takes his perspective FULLY and paints a most unflattering portrait of the metamorphosis she went through as she struggled with the relationship herself (and I for one could personally relate to those shifts).

What a challenging thing it can be to take the Other’s Perspective – especially when we feel we have been wronged or hurt by that person!

And perhaps, it’s even more difficult to take the Other’s Perspective when we feel we have wronged or hurt them!

Because then we have to admit we have been the aggressor. I truly believe we all want to experience love – to give it and receive it. So it’s tough to take full, unflinching responsibility when we have hurt another.

I know this is something I struggle with now, as I look more closely at my own defensive and/or victimized behaviors and attempt to accept them (not blame myself for them!) and change them at the same time. I’ve learned the hard way that we can’t change what we won’t acknowledge and accept. And we can’t acknowledge or accept our behaviors if we’re going to focus on blaming or shaming ourselves for them.

It’s icky to have to look at our “junk.” But nothing else can liberate us so completely.

I invite you to watch Farhana’s video and be inspired by her authenticity and candor. I dare you to emulate her willingness to look at herself through her ex’s eyes. I think you may find it tough. I think you may find it quite painful. But most of all, I think you’ll find it totally liberating.


Vicki Howie is the Creator of Chakra Boosters Healing Tattoos™ (find out what inspired her to create them here). Check out her new book “The Key to Your Chakras” here on amazon.com. Vicki is also the Creator of Chakra Love and the Chakra Life Cycle System®, as well as the Co-Editor of Conscious Life News. You can visit her website chakraboosters.com, facebook page and youtube channel for lots of free chakra info and gifts. Vicki’s biggest joy is to help you unleash your full chakra power and step into your highest potential.

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