5 Little Known Tips That Will Keep Your Man Sexually Tuned In & Turned On (#3 is Key!)

Posted by on April 25, 2017 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 10 Comments
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By Colleen Rush | Cosmopolitan

Sure, you want adoration, respect, and the occasional sparkly treat from your man, but more than anything, you want to feel like he’s still got the hots for you. Well, here’s good news: Contrary to the widely held belief that men lose interest over time, experts now know that guys are actually hardwired for long-term lusting.

“It’s absolutely true, but it’s not without conditions,” says Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, author of Why Can’t You Read My Mind? “You have to make a strategic effort to trigger that craving in him once you’re in a relationship because the spark in your bond won’t last if you neglect it.” For that reason, Cosmo has discovered the seven key make-him-ache-for-you strategies that specifically jump-start your guy’s desire. Be warned: Once you use them, he’ll be sticking to you like white on rice.

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 1. UTTER THE ONE WORD THAT DRIVES HIM NUTS

As lovey-dovey as pet names make him feel, they still don’t compare to the electrifying rush your man gets when his name crosses your lips. “Just hearing it is an aphrodisiac,” says body-language expert Eve Marx, author of Read My Hips. “It ratchets up his desire because the message you send is ‘It’s you I’m thinking about and no one else.’ And men need to hear that — it’s tied to their primal urge to beat out all the competition.”

However, just blurting out his moniker as often as possible isn’t going to do it for him. You need to make it count. For instance, when you’re feeling sexy in a public setting, like in a dark bar, drop it into conversation in surprising spots and pause for a beat or two: “And then…Jeremy…I slammed the door behind me.”

Or try another trick when he’s putting the moves on you: Just kind of coo his name to draw his focus entirely on to you. “When Jake and I are getting it on, sometimes it feels like he’s lost in his own head,” says Sandrine, 26.* “But when I moan his name, everything feels like it gets more intense between us, like it brings him into the moment.”

2. REACH INTO HIS POCKET FOR THE KEYS

Well, more than just the keys. The lesson is this: “Never underestimate the power of an unexpected touch,” says David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships. “Just by stimulating his nerve endings when he’s not prepared for it, you create a positive physical connection that leaves your man wanting more.” Even better, your guy subconsciously gets hooked on those mini-moments of excitement and craves them when you’re not around.

Related Article: How a Man Physically Experiences Sex (and The Power of Tuning In)

From now on, be on the lookout for opportune moments to touch him “accidentally.” For example, don’t ask him for his keys…glide your hand into his pocket and slowly take them out. Don’t ask him to pass the salt…reach across him, letting your breasts rub against his arm. Don’t walk past him in a crowded bar…press your rear into his gear. According to Tricia, 25, these sneak attacks work like a charm. “If I’ve been really touchy-feely with Rob, the next morning, he’ll be really snuggly,” she says. “It’s like he wants to be closer to me.”

3. KEEP HIM OUT OF THE LOOP

The funny thing about men is that telling them less about your life makes them long for you more. So as much as you might want to share the minutiae of your bitchy workplace or your take on the latest Grey’s Anatomy plot twist, hold back. “The hard truth is that from his end, that information is overwhelming and boring,” explains Douglas Weiss, PhD, author of The 7 Love Agreements. “Men don’t have the capacity to endure great amounts of detail. That’s one reason why they don’t give you the play-by-play of their lives.”

Edit your small talk and you’ll make a discovery: The less you tell him, the more interested he’ll become in your day-to-day, as Susan, 27, can attest. “If I’m vague or dismissive about what I’ve been up to — like ‘Oh, nothing. The usual. Work. Out with the girls’ — Dave becomes eager to hear the story,” she says. “And when he’s the instigator, he listens more closely.”

So to hook him in, when you’re chatting, give him the conclusion of the conversation first. For instance, “I got the job” or “I saw your buddy Mark,” and then stop and wait. You’ve gotten his attention, now let him draw out the details he’s dying to know from you.

4. MAKE SMALL CHANGES FOR BIG RESULTS

Caroline, 26, had gotten haircuts in the past that her guy hadn’t noticed at all, but when she had her brunette crown streaked red, he was all over her. “Jake couldn’t stop touching me — he couldn’t believe he was fooling around with a redhead,” she says. The reason her new do drove him nuts: “Men register eye-catching changes to your appearance, and it draws them to you,” says Lori Buckley, PsyD. “Adding novelty will keep his desire for you strong.”

There’s a catch though: If you want to snag his immediate interest, the change has to be guy-visible. “To activate his desire, it has to be a departure from your everyday look,” says David Buss, PhD, author of The Evolution of Desire. Maybe take a break from your jeans routine and strut around in a miniskirt. Wear a noticeably higher heel. Or ditch your bra for a day and put a little extra bounce in your step.

5. COMPLIMENT HIM THE RIGHT WAY

Just because men don’t fish for flattery (when was the last time you heard a guy ask, “Honey, do my pecs look small in this shirt?”) doesn’t mean they don’t love ego stroking. “More than anything, men desire the feeling of being desired,” says Bernstein. “When a man hears praise from his partner, it reinforces that she’s attracted to him, which further intensifies his feelings for her.”

Related Article: 5 Ways You Can Upgrade Your Sexual Operating System for Maximum Fulfillment

But there’s a trick to buttering up your guy right. You see, men are supersensitive to gushing. It makes them want to gag and run far away. So when you give him props, stick to this tip: The more obscure and exclusive the praise to him, the more genuine it feels. That’s why Molly, 31, casually praises her guy’s kitchen-cleaning prowess. “Tom is anal about wiping down the counters, so whenever I go to cook and they’re clean, I say how much I love it.” He may dismiss your flattery with a grunt, but deep down, he’s loving every second of it.

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  1. 10154712412055200@facebook.com' Heather Stevens says:

    #3 can go to hell. Tell it like it is girls. ?

  2. 212593132425491@facebook.com' Bao Ngoc Tran says:

    Conscious Life News…Only 3% of people can pass this question, Take our quiz now…
    BEXeDXI play now ? ~> http://goo.gl/K4Y5Ic

    Thanks for view: Mean have the same needs as women, but they are wired differently. Here are some smart tips to rev your mans desire in a way he wants and understands….

  3. 1470616433268394@facebook.com' Kevin Dover says:

    I highly disagree with 3, 4, and 5 especially 3

  4. 912492098841602@facebook.com' Gilles Lacoursiere says:

    #1 must like dogs. Not the idea of having a dog.

  5. 772615979535849@facebook.com' Jane Janey says:

    Dont fall for it.. be you.. dont pander to the ‘how to keep your man’ bull.. it puts, as usual, the responsibility on women second guessing and altering instead of on the man to be part of a committed, open, honest team and a good communicator.

    • 148270801883880@facebook.com' Conscious Life News says:

      There can be a middle ground Jane, where you consider these points about the way you man receive things and also still be yourself.

    • 772615979535849@facebook.com' Jane Janey says:

      Consideration is paramount in secure relationships.. and middle ground is available to all.. yes.. even me..nothing to do with my impersonal point I’m afraid.. ‘Keep’ is an old insecurity promoting term. It doesn’t denote mutual understanding, commitment or sharing or choice, it sounds like he’s off if you don’t learn from others how to please him. Its cool if you don’t understand.. we’re all beautifully different.. still frustratingly for many its one of those everyday sexism terms not yet erradicated from our culture.. But hey here we are highlighting discussing it. Fab.

  6. 441050579426077@facebook.com' Evie Dorato says:

    Super sick of these messages of how women ‘should’ act or ‘should’ look like. F*** that. We should be celebrating individuality and differences.

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