5 Steps to Giving a Woman an Amazing, Sensual Massage (Male Sex Coach Shares Advice)

Posted by on July 17, 2017 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 0 Comments
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By Jordan Gray | Jordan Gray Consulting

If you want to give a woman the night of her life and turn her into a blissed-out puddle of mush (that will be talking to her friends about you for weeks afterward), then look no further than the sensual massage.

Everybody likes sex, but the dynamic of a sensual massage is something entirely different. It’s all about her receiving from you.


Whether it’s for an anniversary, a date, or just a Tuesday night, there is nothing else that will leave her feeling so honoured, nurtured, loved, and turned on.

Even if you’ve never given a sensual massage in your life, if you follow these tips you are guaranteed to leave her with an unforgettable experience.

Keep in mind… very few women have ever gotten this kind of dedicated, healthy sensual attention that is completely giving and respectful in nature. Depending on the woman and her past experiences, it can be incredibly healing. It’s actually quite common for them to have an emotional release and cry in the process. Which is totally fine. Keep calm, take a pause, love her through it, and massage on.

How To Give Her An Incredible Sensual Massage

1. Set the scene

Most women tend to be sensitive to ambience and context. In order for her to be able to completely relax internally, the outer environment has to be conducive to her relaxation.

– Make sure the room is well cleaned and tidy (laundry folded and put away, clean surfaces, etc.)

– Use only candle light

– Light some gentle/mild incense

– Lay out soft blankets and pillows

– Play soft, ambient music

– Remove all distractions and make sure to turn off any beeping electronics

2. Prepare some oil

Use a natural, clean oil, since you’re likely going to be using this on the outside AND the inside of her. Coconut oil is my personal favourite. Put a few tablespoons in a dish on the bedside table. Bonus points if you add a few drops of essential oil to create your own custom infusion.

Related Article: Guys: These 4 Tips Guarantee You’ll Give Her the Best Erotic Massage of Her Life

Obviously, make sure the oil is comfortably warm to the touch before putting it on her skin so it doesn’t startle her. If the oil is room temperature or less, rub your hands together vigorously for 5-10 seconds before putting them on her skin. You want everything to be comfortable and soothing. The last thing you want is her to dread your touch and wince, or get cold.

3. Use light, smooth touch

The key word here is “sensual”. Sensuality is about provoking, stimulating, and teasing the senses. You’re not there to perform targeted deep tissue to resolve chronic knee pain or treat her scoliosis. Your goal is to bring every ounce of her attention to her body and where your hands contact it.

Be progressive with pressure and intensity. The more light and drawn out the movements, the more arousing the sensual massage will be. If you need to get a sense of the rhythm, pretend you’re massaging her in slow-motion, or like she’s asleep and you’re trying not to wake her up. Side note, if she does fall asleep at any point during the massage, that’s fine. Don’t take it personally or be offended. It just means that she’s that relaxed, which is great.

Start with long, smooth full-palm strokes up her back and down her arms. Use the swirl technique to keep her nerve endings guessing (swirling your hands around lightly in an unpredictable, non-linear way over the whole body).

You’ll develop better palpation skills with practice (palpation = detecting tension and problem areas with your fingers). When you find a tight place, spend some time making repetitive, deeper movements over it. Choose one spot and then slowly sink into it with a few firm fingers or a gentle elbow. Be very careful with this technique. It can be insanely satisfying and tension-busting, but also intense and painful. Go very, very slow, and listen to her breathing for cues as to how she’s feeling moment to moment.

4. Communicate

Check in once in a while if the pressure is okay. Some parts will be more/less sensitive than others, so she may want your touch to change accordingly. Ask her if there are any areas that are calling out to her and yearning for more attention.

This will not only exponentially boost her satisfaction, but also help you learn what works and leave you feeling more confident overall that she’s having a good time.

5. Escalate

Keep in mind that the arc of the sensual massage is a giant tease from initial feather-light touch on the back to full manual stimulation of her lady parts. Don’t race. You want to build tension and anticipation. As you progress, gloss over her breasts and past her thighs but don’t stop and spend ample time on her more obvious erogenous zones just yet.

Start with the head, neck, arms, hands, legs, butt, and feet. Then have her flip over and go further with her stomach, breasts, inner thighs, and finally genitals.

Related Article: How to Awaken a Woman’s Sexuality with Yoni Massage

When you get to the vagina, work from the outside in, layer by layer. Take your time like you’ve never taken your time before. Lightly stroke the creases at the thighs on either side (if you didn’t know, the clitoris isn’t just a little bulb at the top of the vaginal opening, but is shaped more like a wishbone and runs down both sides of it). Stroke and gently tug at each labial lip. Caress everything. Take your time.

When you move to the inside, use the same philosophy of light, smooth touch and particularly focus on the G-spot, along the first few inches of the upper vaginal wall. Watch her breath and calibrate as you gradually build speed and intensity. As long as you’re both having fun, rinse and repeat!

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