Teal Scott: How to Let Go of Guilt [video]_Featured_ Sunday, September 2nd, 2012
Guilt is an emotion. It is an “indicator” that tells you that you have done something you do not want to repeat and that was out of line with your higher self. We call this internal knowing that is indicated by the emotion of guilt…CONSCIENCE. Conscience (a function of the higher self) is absent of regret because the universal perspective is absent of regret. Regret is how you know that Self Abuse and Blame have stepped in the door to keep you stuck in the emotion of guilt even though you’ve already acknowledged that you have thoughts or said or done something that you do not want to repeat.
In part 1, Teal tells us that guilt is the veneer which is laid over a set of even worse core beliefs, which also come from this childhood socialization pattern… As a child, the assumption you make based on the limited understanding you have when your caregivers punish you, is that you must deserve it. Otherwise, it would not be happening to you. Because of this, the core beliefs which are at the heart of all guilt are as follows:
- I DESERVE PUNISHMENT
- I DESERVE TO SUFFER
- I DON’T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY
- I DON”T DESERVE TO BE LOVED.
Teal then goes on to explain that guilt is self abuse.
In part 2, Teal discusses the Eleven Basic Steps that will help you to let go of guilt are:
- Realization. Realize that guilt and shame are negative emotions surrounded by negative thoughts that continue to feed our ego in a negative way instead of a positive way.
- Decide that you are ready and willing and wanting to let go of guilt.
- Replace the beliefs that you deserve punishment and to suffer and that you don’t deserve happiness or love with the belief that you deserve to be happy and to be loved
- Take responsibility ONLY for your part in a situation. This does not mean owning blame for what happened… but rather owning up to the responsibility to choose to think or say or do something different in the future.
- Take off the rosy colored sunglasses when you are looking for ways that the past could have been different. Guilt is fueled by looking back on a situation and seeing options that either weren’t there, or to which we had no access at the time.
- Apologize to anyone who you perceive that you have hurt. Including yourself.
- Make a plan for how you will do things differently in the future. What did your conscience indicate you know now IS in line with your higher self?
- Recognize the values in mistakes. Without them, you could not learn. Without knowing what you don’t like and want, you could not know what you do like and want. When mistakes turn into suffering is when we introduce shame and self punishment into the equation of a mistake instead of understanding and taking it as a lesson.
- Discover all of the judgments you are making about yourself based on what you feel guilty about. Such as… I feel guilt because I’ve stolen money from someone people who steal money are no good therefore… “I’m no good” or “I’m a bad person” or “I’m a screw up” or “I deserve to be punished”. Replace these negative beliefs and assumptions with beneficial beliefs.
- Show yourself love and care and discover how to be our own friend. Look inward and see that you are in need of loving kindness yourself. Counter that self hate with self love. This is not reward for bad behavior. If you are able to really love yourself, you can’t even be a match to situations where you would do something that you’d feel guilty about later.
- Forgive yourself. UNDERSTAND THAT EVERY PERSON ON THIS EARTH ALWAYS MAKES THE BEST DECISION THEY CAN GIVEN THE PERSPECTIVE, INFORMATION AND KNOWLEDGE THEY HAVE, FROM WHERE THEY ARE. EVERYONE DOES WHAT THEY THINK IS RIGHT IN THE VERY MOMENT. Because of the way we are taught to punish ourselves… We develop guilt for not choosing options that, in all honesty, simply weren’t there at the time. You cannot judge your past self using today’s expanded perspective. Discontinue carrying the past into the present and projecting it into the future.