Are You a People Pleaser? (1 Easy Trick to Know for Sure!)

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

“Are You a People Pleaser? (1 Easy Trick to Know for Sure!)” was originally published at Raise Your Vibration Today.

Are you a people pleaser?

Maybe not, but I’ve found that many Law of Attraction enthusiasts  often are! So if you are, trust you are in good company.


Now I’m not sure why so many students of the LOA are people pleasers, but I have my theories. I personally believe that people who are empathic and intuitive are often drawn to the LOA, and I think this has something to do with it.

Empathy and intuition often go hand-in-hand with people pleasing. After all, if you are highly sensitive, you can just “tell” when someone is upset or going through a challenging time. Naturally, you may want to help them feel better.

People pleasing causes more harm than good!

Unfortunately, people pleasing really doesn’t help anyone at all in the long run. Of course, we may be able to avoid a fight or prevent someone we care about from being upset in the moment. However, this comes at a cost to our own feelings, emotions and self-esteem.

After all, if you live your life constantly adjusting how you act in order to serve others, this can cause you to feel extremely marginalized and overlooked. Your feelings and emotions are very important, after all!  When you push them down to for the sake of someone else, you set your self up for frustration, sadness or even anger down the road.

Beyond that, people pleasing prevents the other people in your life from handling their own emotions and problems. It keeps them from learning to deal with the reality that other people have feelings and needs too. In a nutshell, people pleasing prevents other people from their own growth, expansion and empowerment. 

Related Article: Are You Energy Sensitive? 6 Telling Signs

So, what do you think: Are you a people pleaser? If so, how do you stop people pleasing? What are empathic or intuitive people to do when they are used to putting their own needs second (or third, or fourth, or seventy-fifth)?

I’ve got one easy trick to help you out. Here it is:

Are You a People Pleaser? Easy Trick: 

This is a super, super easy trick you can use at any time to evaluate if your choices and behaviors are authentic to you, and to answer the question: Are you a people pleaser?

How it works:

Often times, people pleasers are so used to putting their own wants and needs on the back burner that they totally forget how to act authentically around certain people! People pleasers condition themselves to always evaluate the other person first. For that reason, sometimes it’s hard to know for sure when you are people pleasing! 

So this trick is helpful, because it helps you know for sure when you are people pleasing.

When you aren’t sure if you are people pleasing or not, just ask yourself: “Would I do this if this person wasn’t here right now?” OR “Would I choose to do this if this person was someone else I really, truly trusted?” 

Measure your behaviors against what you would choose to do if you weren’t in the company of someone you might disappoint.

Quick example:

For example, let’s say your mother has come to stay with you for the week at your house, and you worry that you often people please around her.

So while she’s at your house, evaluate your behaviors.  “Would I be running around cleaning up like this if she wasn’t here?” “Would I have agreed with her opinion if she was someone I really trusted?”

If you find that you are engaged in a behavior you wouldn’t do if your mother wasn’t around, you can bet your bottom dollar you are people pleasing.  You are tiptoeing around her in order to avoid getting a negative reaction. 

Ok, so I know I am people pleasing, but how do I stop?

You’ll find that when you use the trick above it’s pretty easy to tell if you are people pleasing. With that being said, how do you stop people pleasing?

After all, sometimes it’s hard to stop people pleasing. If you’re used to turning cartwheels to please someone, it’s probably an automatic behavior by now.

So here’s a quick suggestion, and it’s fairly simple:

Instead of trying to stop your people pleasing, try to start your “me pleasing” instead.

For example, when you are around someone you usually people please, periodically ask yourself “what might I do right now that I enjoy when I’m by myself or with someone I really trust?” Then, pick a few behaviors or activities, and throw them into the mix! 

The more you choose me-pleasing behaviors, the more they will take root in your life.

“Me Pleasing”

For instance, if you would like to listen to a particular radio station, put it on.  If you would like to order ham on your pizza, order ham on your pizza. If you would like to talk about your favorite movie, strike up a conversation about it.

Take a moment to identify what “me” would like to do, and as much as you can, insert these me pleasing behaviors into your interactions with others.  Let yourself off the hook for the people pleasing, but do your best to add in some me pleasing as often as you can.

There’s no sense in beating yourself up when you notice that you’ve been tap dancing around your friends, family or coworkers. However, in any moment you can always ask yourself “what’s something I would enjoy?” and you can add a little more personal enjoyment into the interaction.

Of course, it’s always easier to start with smaller behaviors that are fairly comfortable, and work your way up. It might be a challenge to call your mom out for her shit or insist on doing something you know she’s going to hate.  Start small by pushing your comfort level a little further than usual.

In time it will get easier and easier to act authentically and on your own behalf.

Just remember…

Your feelings are important. In fact, they are the most important feelings in your world. Ignore your own wants and needs and you’re setting yourself up for feeling like you always come second in your own life.

It’s completely justifiable to put yourself first in your own life. In fact, it’s the best thing you can do for you, and for the world!

Take care of your own needs and wants, and you’ll be better equipped to be the best person you can be. This benefits us all tremendously. If you really want to uplift the people you care about, you’ll be the greatest influence when you act from a place of strength and authenticity.

XO, Andrea

(Law of Attraction coach & educator)

Are you a student of the Law of Attraction?

Sign up for my free Law of Attraction newsletter for conscious advice to help you attract positive outcomes into your life.  You can also become a member of my LOA member website and gain access to a library of video tutorials, ebooks, audiobooks and meditations.  Learn how to attract the things you want with fun, clarity and success!   Join today for as little as $1.99 or become an annual member for 30% in savings.

This article (“Are You a People Pleaser? (1 Easy Trick to Know for Sure!)”) was originally created and published by Raise Your Vibration Today and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Andrea Schulman and RaiseYourVibrationToday.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement (with all links in tact).

Tags: , ,

Subscribe

If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it.

Subscribe via RSS FeedConnect on YouTube

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

FAIR USE NOTICE. Many of the stories on this site contain copyrighted material whose use has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making this material available in an effort to advance the understanding of environmental issues, human rights, economic and political democracy, and issues of social justice. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of the copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of the US Copyright Law which contains a list of the various purposes for which the reproduction of a particular work may be considered fair, such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. If you wish to use such copyrighted material for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use'...you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. And, if you are a copyright owner who wishes to have your content removed, let us know via the "Contact Us" link at the top of the site, and we will promptly remove it.

The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Conscious Life News assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms.

Paid advertising on Conscious Life News may not represent the views and opinions of this website and its contributors. No endorsement of products and services advertised is either expressed or implied.
Top

Send this to friend